How to Create Oracle Card Spreads For Any Purpose

Wherever you’re seeking guidance, your oracle cards can help! Oracle cards are an intuitive tool that can help you gain daily wisdom or insights on significant life challenges. Though I’m partial to my oracle card deck, The Ritual Deck, you can apply this to any oracle card deck you’d like or, your favorite tarot cards.

Hint: Learn more about the difference between tarot and oracle cards here.

If you’re new to the world of oracle cards no need to be intimidated, you’re in the right place to learn how to perform oracle card readings for any issue.If you’re a seasoned oracle card reader, let’s breathe some new life into your card reading practice!

Bonus: Keep reading for links to download a free oracle card cheat sheet for love and a new moon.

Asking The Right Kinds of Questions

As is the case with most intuitive tools, oracle cards included, they will rarely give you a simple black and white answer. Your guides and higher self can help lead you but don’t expect definitive answers. Your life is your life, and you lead the way.

For example, if you’re trying to find a romantic partner. Instead of asking your cards, “When will I find love,” think about the different aspects involved with finding a partner and what you could focus on to manifest more love in your life.

Here are some possible questions to ask your oracle cards when looking for love:

Love 5-Card Spread

• How can I love myself more?

• What areas of my life should I focus on to find love?

• What should I look for in a partner?

• What is holding me back from receiving love?

• What is holding me back from finding a romantic partner?

Click here to receive a printable card layout for the 5-card love spread.

Sample Questions

Here are some open-ended sample questions that work well for oracle card readings.

• How can I invite more ____________ into my life?

• How can I overcome my fear of _____________ ?

• Am I going in the right direction with _____________ ?

• How can I let go of ____________ ?

• What should I focus on today?

• What should I focus on during this moon cycle?

• Where can I find more __________ in my life?

• What is blocking me from ____________ ?

• What is preventing me from manifesting ______________ ?

• In what ways am I holding myself back?

• How can I be in better alignment with my purpose?

How Many Cards Should I Pull?

You can pull one card or twenty cards. Your card readings can be as in-depth as you need them to be. It can be helpful to have an idea of what questions you’d like to ask before starting so you know about how many cards you’ll want to pull. That said, selecting multiple cards may lead to more questions! If more questions pop up, pull away, sister.

Designs & Cardinal Directions

Laying your cards out in a specific design isn’t necessary but can impart an added layer of meaning to your card reading. A simple design suggestion is to arrange your cards in an upward or downward-facing triangle. An upward- facing triangle will add masculine energy to your reading, and a downward-facing triangle will add feminine energy to your reading.

Click here to download the new moon card reading guide pictured above.

The four cardinal directions are another way to add meaning to your reading. Face yourself and your cards in a specific direction to add more meaning in this way. Here’s a quick description of how each direction can affect your reading.

• North: Issues related to the physical body

• East: Issues related to new beginnings

• South: Issues related to challenges or blocks

• West: Issues related to emotions

Let’s recap! Here are seven simple steps for creating oracle card spreads.

Steps to Perform an Oracle Card Reading

1. In what areas of your life are you seeking guidance? It’s always helpful to go into a reading with a plan. Without an idea of what you need guidance on your message may be unclear.

2. What question(s) could you ask that might shed light on this issue? Write them down beforehand to help stay on topic as you perform your reading.

3. Get quiet, breathe deep, and call on your guides and higher self to help you select cards.

4. Optional: Lay cards in a specific pattern that is meaningful to your topic.

5. Optional: Face a specific direction as you perform your card reading.

6. Pull your cards. Try not to judge the cards and what they might mean for you until you’re finished and can take in the entire reading.

7. Decipher your reading with an open mind using your intuition and any guidebooks for the deck(s) you’re using. Welcome nudges from your higher self and guides and be open to signs as you move about your day that may be related to your message.

What If My Message Didn’t Make Sense?

Didn’t receive the message you were hoping for or expecting? Before you doubt the cards, wait a few days, and look for signs. Often, you’ll find that the message you received was exactly what you needed and it will usually make itself apparent. If you wait a few days and the message is still unclear, try clearing your mind with a short meditation and asking your higher self or guides to make the message more clear and do another card pull.

I hope you feel empowered to perform meaningful card readings for yourself and others!

Four Abundance Rituals

Do you want to call in more abundance? You’re in the right place! Abundance can come in so many forms and means many different things to different people. Abundance could be time, money, freedom, or anything else that makes you personally feel abundant!

In this blog post, I’ll be sharing four rituals to help you connect with the abundance that’s always available to you. Keep scrolling to read them!

ABUNDANCE CRYSTAL GRID

Crystal grids are a beautiful tool for manifesting more abundance in your life! The ideal time to set up your abundance grid is at the new moon, and you can leave it up until the full moon.

Start by gathering your stones and cleansing them. Your abundance besties in the crystal kingdom are aventurine, citrine, quartz, moss agate, tiger eye, and kyanite! Try one of each stone, although if you have more than one, that’s great, too.

You’ll place your citrine stone in the center and arrange your other stones radiating out around the citrine in a way that feels good to use. Use the crystal grid in the Goddess Discovery Book or place your stones on a cloth or table.

As you place each stone, keep an image in your mind’s eye of what you’re trying to attract. Ask yourself how you’ll feel when you receive the abundance you’re requesting.

After all your stones are in place, trace your crystals with a pointed quartz. Imagine the quartz connecting your crystals and unifying their energy. Try to connect with your grid daily until the full moon!

ABUNDANCE SPELL BAG

Spell bags, known in Voodoo as “gris-gris,” or to Native Americans as “medicine bags,” are one of my favorite ways to make magick. The waxing moon is the best time to do any abundance spell work, so try to do each of these rituals then if you can!Here’s what you’ll need to make a spell bag for abundance:

• Basil or a sprinkle of cinnamon

• 10 of Pentacles tarot card (or a copy of this tarot card if you don’t want to put the actual card in the bag!)

• A knob of ginger

• Honey calcite, pyrite, citrine, or green aventurine

• Anything else that represents abundance to you. For example, if you work for yourself you might include a printout of an email where a client booked a session with you.

Spend some time with your spell bag to infuse your energy into it. Hold it in your hands as you meditate on abundance, and breathe into it before you pull it closed!

ABUNDANCE CANDLE MAGICK

You can work with the magic of fire to help you call more abundance into your life! If you’ve never done candle magick before, read this blog to learn how to get started.For this spell, you’ll need:

• Green candle

• Carving tool like a sharp point crystal, toothpick, or athame.

• Tiger eye, citrine, and green aventurine

• Patchouli or frankincense oil

• Coins or money

Start by cleansing all of your items for the spell. This can be done by wafting herbal smoke over them or visualizing white light cleansing them.

For this spell, you’ll be carving the Fehu Rune into your candle. Fehu is a powerful symbol of abundance. If you’d prefer to carve a specific dollar amount or item you’re hoping to attain you could carve this into the candle too.

Anoint your candle with the oil of your choice. As you carve and anoint your candle, visualize your abundance goal.

Arrange your crystals, money, and candle in a place where you can leave it up for a few nights. Light your candle and meditate on the flame. Visualize your abundance goal clearly, imagine yourself reaching your goal and what it would feel like to attain it.

You can continue this until the entire candle burns or snuff out the candle and continue the same ritual each night until the candle has burned completely.

Bonus! You can get this spell as a free printable spell card (along with spells for love, letting go, and connecting with your intuition) here.

ABUNDANCE TAROT or ORACLE CARD SPREAD

Turn to tarot or oracle to understand your blocks to abundance and what you can do to connect to more abundance. You can create a ritual space by grounding yourself first, lighting candles, burning herbs or incense, or doing anything else that feels right to you.

Cards from the Journey Tarot Kit

When you feel grounded and centered, shuffle your cards while holding the intention to connect with the wisdom of your highest self. Draw cards for each of the following questions:

• What belief system or patterns blocks me from the abundance I desire?

• How to release this belief system or pattern

• How to open myself up to greater abundance

• My mantra for calling in abundance

Spend some time journaling with your cards and meditating on your mantra card. If you’d like, you can place your mantra card on your altar!

How to Get Started with Spiritual Activism

If you’re reading this, you probably have a desire to make the world a better place. But you may feel like you’re not sure how to go about it in a way that aligns with your spiritual practice and values.

Your spiritual practice and your activism aren’t separate, they’re one. They can be, and I think they should be— because the world needs you, as an activist, to show up as a spiritual being...and as a spiritual being, to show up as an activist.

This means that not only are we meditating on healing the world, manifesting collective healing, and whatever other healing practices you have…but we’re also bringing that work into how we show up in the world as agents for change. We show up as our whole, spiritual selves when we call our senators and representatives. When we march, when we protest, when we volunteer, when we donate, when we organize, when we listen, when we post on social media.

That is spiritual activism.

COMPASSION

One really important piece of spiritual activism is compassion for yourself and for others. It’s really easy and often justified, to get caught up in your feelings and forget that the person you’re engaging with is also a human being. A human being who may be really offending you right now, but still a human being.

Remember that your feelings are justified. And of course, you don’t have to continue to engage with someone who is hurting you. But remembering some of the truths that are likely part of your spiritual practice, like compassion for all and the idea that at the core of it, we are all one, is just as important in these situations as it is in others.

ANGER

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to feel?

• How do I want others to feel around me?

List these answers out, and think about how they apply to your activism. If you want to feel inspired, open, safe, joyful, free, loved, whatever it is — you probably want other people to feel that way around you, too.

How can you approach your activism in a way that holds space for that? How can you approach your activism in a way that makes yourself and the people around you feel that way the majority of the time?

A note about anger: you probably want to create change around two things: things that break your heart, and things that make you angry. In some dialogue about spirituality, anger is bad. It’s something to be stifled and ignored.

But anger is human, and I think the only thing that makes it bad is repressing it. You’re going to be angry about injustice. It’s what we do with our anger, how we express it, and how we channel it that can help or hurt us.

So instead of repressing your anger or using it to lash out at people, I invite you to channel your anger into productive change, remembering that compassion and anger aren’t mutually exclusive.

START WITH YOU

When it comes to activism, start with you. It can be hard to wrap your head around at first but understand that you are not separate from the problem. You are not separate from these oppressive systems.

As a white person, racism isn’t about someone else. It’s about me.

As a cisgendered person, violence against transgender people isn’t about someone else, it’s about me.

The list goes on.

Ask yourself: in what systems am I an oppressor?

You can be oppressed in certain systems, like gender, and be the oppressor in others, like race.

This is where we get into the idea of privilege.None of this is about berating yourself for being a bad person or being complicit in these systems. You’re not a bad person! But the point of this being the first step is that when we know better, we do better. But we can’t do better if we don’t immerse ourselves in the “know better” step first.

Ask yourself: what privileges do I hold?

(Ideas: able-bodied privilege, white privilege, cisgendered privilege, straight privilege, thin privilege, in your country legally, etc.)

Take some time to really think about how those privileges manifest in your life and how they’ve become systems of belief. For example, what beliefs have you absorbed about people who don’t hold the privilege of being documented, or who don’t hold thin privilege?

What can you do to root down, shift those beliefs (which always manifest into actions even if you may not realize it!), and create more equality in your own life?

How is this spiritual activism? I think it comes back to the idea that healing yourself is healing for the world. I think most of us can probably get behind that. In this sense, cleaning up your own baggage, the ways in which your hurt and oppress is the most important thing we can do.

RELEASE

These days in this political climate I think it’s really important to have an embodiment practice to help you release trauma, anger, and other emotions you’re storing up from your cells. Tapping, breathwork, and a good old-fashioned scream are great ways to release.The practice can look like anything you need it to, but choose something that’s a physical release.

How to journal with the moon phases + 10 journal prompts

Your mood, physical body, and spirit body all go through phases, and journaling with the moon is an ideal way to track all of these. You may find that you’re more synced with the moon than you thought!

Why You Should Try Moon Journaling

Wouldn’t it be nice to know which moon phases make you feel the most intuitive, expressive, or reserved? The way you relate to each moon phase is reflective of you alone and experiences will vary from person to person. You may find that your diet, intuition, and menstruation are affected by the phases of the moon. Keeping a moon journal will enable you to track any patterns to better understand all of your cycles. 

How Often Should You Write in Your Moon Journal?

Take notes in your moon journal as often as you like! Journaling once a week will ensure that you hit each of the main phases of the moon: new moon, waxing moon, full moon, and waning moon. Moon journaling twice a month, on the full and new moon, can also be enlightening.

Starting out, I suggest making a quick note in your moon journal for 30-60 consecutive days. Making a quick note daily, in the beginning, will help you catch any obvious patterns right away.

What You’ll Need to Start Your Moon Journal

1. You’ll need a moon phase calendar, digital, or a hard copy.

2. You’ll also need a writing utensil and a journal or notepad. That’s it!

10 Topics for Moon Journaling

Here’s a list of suggested moon journaling topics. Read through the whole list. What topics call out to you the most? You can journal on all or some of these topics, it’s completely up to you.

Start your moon journaling by recording the date, the moon phase, and the zodiac sign for the phase (optional).

1. Record how you feel emotionally. Check-in, do you feel content, happy, sad, jealous, excited, energized, grateful, anxious, or angry? Record your mood for the day or overall week. This can be as simple as writing one word.

2. Record how you feel spiritually. How connected and intuitive do you feel? If you meditate regularly, was it easy for you to “drop-in” or did you find your meditation to be a struggle (this is always a good indicator of my spiritual well-being).

3. Record how you feel physically. How are you sleeping, your energy levels, and your diet? Are there any particular foods you're craving? If you exercise regularly, was your activity easy or more forced?

4. Record when you start and end your menstrual cycle. You may also decide to notate what each menstrual cycle feels like to help unearth patterns. If you’re particularly in-tune with your cycle or trying to conceive (or not conceive!) you might also find it helpful to track your ovulation with the moon.

5. Note any goals, intentions, and manifestations you’ve initiated and when they manifest. New intentions are best to set on a new or waxing moon.

6. Note any habits, people, outcomes, or things you’re trying to let go of and when you feel you’ve shed them. Releasing and letting go is best to initiate during a full or waning moon.

7. Notate the zodiac sign the moon is in. If you want to take your moon journaling to the next level you can notate what zodiac sign the moon is in. The moon is always positioned in a zodiac sign and cycles through them every 2-3 days. The sign the moon is in will also have an effect on you too. Try looking for even broader patterns by notating what sign the moon is in when you journal. I like this online resource for tracking the zodiac sign for each moon phase.

8. Track your triumphs! Did something happen that was totally out of the blue and made your day? Maybe you received an unexpected promotion, landed your dream job, or ran into an old friend, write it down!

9. Track your worst days. Did you have one of those days where nothing seems to go as expected and you just can’t shake it? These days aren’t as fun, but being able to estimate when they may come up can sure be helpful.

10. Note your dreams. Dream journaling is an insightful activity on its own. Notating the moon phase for your dreams can shed even more light on what your subconscious is trying to tell you. You might be able to identify times when your dreams are most active so you can plan to have a notepad ready on your nightstand.

Moon journaling can be as simple or in-depth as you’d like and can be tailored to suit your needs and schedule.

4 Ways to Honor the Winter Solstice

The winter solstice marks the longest night of the year, and so we traditionally associate it with darkness.

But it’s also the beginning of the waxing phase of the year, as the days start to get longer and nights start to get shorter. We are reminded that light always follows dark. The balance begins to shift, the wheel of the year turns back again.

This sabbat, also known as Yule, is a time for us to connect with our darkness and alchemize it into lessons, into medicine, for the year to come.

Below are some ways to honor this sacred holiday.

Journaling prompts

Create a quiet, safe space (candles are recommended!) and let yourself free write to the questions below with no editing. No one’s going to read your answers but you!

• Write a love letter to your darkness.

• What am I most ashamed of? How can I transmute this shame into a source of power and love?

• What part of me do I want to feed and grow?

Tarot or oracle spread

Pull out your tarot or oracle deck and set the intention for your highest self tospeak to you through the cards. Give them a shuffle, and pull a card for each of the questions below. I recommend writing down the spread and the cards you pull, as well as your interpretations of them.

• What shadow wants to work with me?

• How does it want to be worked with?

• Advice for moving through shadow

• What wants to be born from my darkness?

• Advice for birthing whatever needs to come through

• Message from my inner child at this time

Lay out the cards in two rows of three like so. The deck featured here is The Ritual Deck.

Create an altar

Creating an altar is a beautiful way to honor any sabbat. Let this be an intuitive, creative process and place anything there that feels good to you! Some ideas to spark your creativity are:

• Your Death and Temperance tarot cards

• A Yule log or branch

• Holly or mistletoe

• An evergreen wreath to symbolize the wheel of the year

• Any red, green, or white crystals that you’d like (I love carnelian for red, selenite for white, and moss agate or malachite for green)

• Ash, frankincense, and any other sun herbs you like

• Pine cones

• White and silver candles

• A representation of something in your shadow that you’d like to honor and alchemize this year

Painting

One of my favorite ways to work with my subconscious these days is intuitive painting. Get out your paints, paper, and allow whatever wants to come through you as you focus on the winter solstice and what it means to you. Try not to focus on how it looks— no one needs to see it but you!

After you finish, you could place it on your altar.

Below is an infographic with a visual representation of rituals for Yule

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Want to learn more about the different sabbats on the wheel of the year? Click here to learn more about the wheel of the year and download your free wheel of the year printable.

3 Ways to Use The Ritual Deck

The Ritual Deck is here! Here are tips and tools you can use to jump in and start using your deck as soon as you receive it. Update 2022: The original Ritual Deck is currently discontinued but we’re working on having a similar version eventually!

Ritual has the power to ground you, help you manifest your desires, and unlock your intuitive abilities. I created this deck to help you tap into the power of ritual on a regular basis without needing to purchase several supplies.
There are three main ways to use The Ritual Deck.

1. As a traditional oracle card deck for regular guidance from the cards.

2. Unique card spreads designed specifically for performing the rituals you need most.

3. The cards themselves act as energetic stand-ins for ritual, perfect for spell work or placing on your altar.

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I’m going to share a few ways to start using your deck here but keep in mind, The Ritual Deck comes with a robust guidebook that goes into greater detail on all three of these methods. The guidebook includes much more than I can offer here in one blog post! Beyond the guidebook, this deck is incredibly versatile, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find more uses than what is outlined in the guidebook.

Oracle Card Pulls with The Ritual Deck

First and foremost The Ritual Deck is an oracle card deck. Use it for daily card pulls to receive a message for the day or bigger oracle card spreads to find guidance on more significant questions you may have.

The triad card spreads outlined in the guidebook is a common one for oracle card decks because it has so many applications. Apply the triad card spread to any of the situations you’d like more guidance on:

Steps to perform a triad card spread:

1. Hold the cards in your hands and focus on your question.

2. Shuffle your cards.

3. Call in any guides, Gods, or Goddesses you work with to help (optional).

4. Turn over the top three cards in a straight line or in a “v” shape as pictured below. The “v” shape indicates that you’d like to bring more feminine energy into your reading.

5. Apply the chart above to your three cards and reference the guidebook for more information on each card you selected.

As an example, let’s pretend that your question is, “What is holding me back from my goal to find a new job?”. The first card represents your desire to find a new job, the second card represents what might be blocking you, and the last card references how your problem may culminate. You’d then be able to dig deeper into the meaning of each card in the guidebook.

Card Spreads for Ritual with The Ritual Deck

The Ritual Deck offers several unique spreads specifically based around rituals that can help you balance your chakras, follow the phases of the moon, balance the five elements within you or your space, and more. Here are the steps for practicing the five-element card spread.

The five elements are energies within you and outside of you that can help you feel more balanced. They can also be used to bring in a specific kind of energy you’re seeking. For example, if you’re trying to accomplish a goal on a short deadline you may want to bring in more of the fire element.

To perform the element card spread follow these steps:

Place the earth card North, the air card East, the fire card South, the water card West, and the spirit card in the center.

Next, use the correspondences on the bottom of the cards to sort the cards by element. For example, all of the cards with a correspondence of water will go in a pile together.

Place each pile on top of its corresponding element, shuffle the cards, and place them face down.

Starting with the top earth element card pile select a card. This will be the ritual you perform to balance your earth element. Continue around the circle selecting one card from each pile until you end in the center at the spirit element.

This card spread can be modified for just one element, and you can decide to pull as many ritual cards from each pile as you’d like! Space your rituals out over a few days, trying to do all of them at once may be overwhelming.

There are similar card spreads outlined in the guidebook for balancing your chakras and performing rituals for every moon phase.

Using Your Cards as Energetic Stand-Ins

Your mind is a powerful tool. By believing that these cards carry the same capacity as the actual objects, they will. I do not mean to discredit the power of real crystals and tools — they are potent healers that I use and adore, but it may not be convenient or possible to find all of the physical tools you need in a given moment for a ritual. That’s why I created this deck: to provide you with the tools you need to perform regular rituals and be transformed by them.

For example, if you’re trying to bring more feminine energy into your daily practice you could place these three cards on your altar as reminders.

Or, if you’re performing a manifesting ritual and need specific tools to perform a spell or ritual, you can use cards that align with manifesting as stand-ins rather than acquiring several different physical objects.

I hope you enjoy these tips for getting started with your deck! Of course, if you have any questions about using your deck you can contact us. Click here to read a blog post all about chakra readings with The Ritual Deck.

5 Rituals for the New Moon

One of the beautiful things about living with the moon is that each month, we get the opportunity to reset, reevaluate, and set intentions for the month ahead. This time is the new moon. New moon energy is conducive to resting, receiving downloads from the Universe, and checking in with yourself. Think of it as the New Year’s Day you get to have every month!

One way to celebrate the new moon is to do rituals. Scroll down for five rituals to help you connect with the energy of the new moon.

Create a new moon altar

One beautiful way to honor the new moon is to create an altar. You can ritualize altar creation by following your intuition! You can put anything on your altar that symbolizes newness, openness, and beginnings to you. Here are some ideas:

• A white candle for newness and purity

• Amethyst to connect with your intuition

• Howlite to receive messages from the Universe

• Flowers and plants (gathering these on a meditative walk through your backyard or local park can be a really nice way to connect with this time!)

• New moon card

• Any or all of the aces in the tarot

• Images of goddesses you’d like to work with this month

• Your new moon intention/intentions written on a piece of paper

• Any oracle or tarot cards symbolizing what you want to call in this month

• Any of these herbs: lavender, angelica, blessed thistle

Candle magick ritual

For this ritual, you’ll need:

• A white candle for newness and purity

• An essential oil that corresponds to your intention or a simple oil like grapeseed

• Piece of paper

• Pen

Charge your candle with your energy by rubbing it with the oil of your choice. Write your intention for this cycle on your piece of paper and place it under the candle. As your candle burns, meditate on your intention.You might like to state your intention out loud as the candle burns or chant a mantra that’s meaningful to you—I like to use the Kundalini mantra for manifesting, Ek Ong Kar Sat Gur Prasad.Let the candle burn all the way down, and bury the wax outdoors if you can.You can learn more about candle magick here.

Burning ritual

One simple and powerful ritual to do at the new moon is a burning ritual. Ask yourself: what do I want to release and not carry with me into this new cycle? And what do I want to manifest with this new moon?

Meditate on these questions, or you might try the visualization meditation below.

When you feel ready, write a few words symbolizing what you would like to release on one side of a small piece of paper. On the other side, write a few words symbolizing what you would like to call in.

Burn your paper over your cauldron or fire-safe dish, and as the smoke wafts up to the ceiling or the sky visualize the energy of your desires wafting up into the universe, releasing and calling in at the same time.

Finish with “This or better make its way to me. And so it is.”

Visualization meditation

Spending 10-15 minutes feeling into the energy of your desires can be so powerful at this time. For your meditation, you might like to have amethyst to connect with your intuition and howlite to open yourself up to receive messages from the Universe, or you might like to wear jewelry to open your third eye and crown chakras.

A few mantras you might like to hold in your mind as you visualize receiving what it is you would like to receive are:

• All that I desire is already here.

• Abundance flows to me from the Universe and I receive freely without hesitation.

Allow your mind to wander and your imagination to create your ideal world. Imagine how it feels to be working with the client you want to manifest, to live in the dream home, to have the relationship you desire, whatever it is.

End by thanking the Universe for always supporting you.

You can also try our guided meditations here

Tarot spread

Giving yourself a tarot reading on the New Moon can be a beautiful reset for the cycle ahead. Pull a card for each of the questions below, and allow yourself plenty of time to journal around what comes up for you afterward.

• What wants to come through me this cycle?

• What shadow am I going to be working with this cycle?

• Advice for working with this shadow

• How can I ensure that my New Moon intentions are aligned with my highest good?

• Energies that will support me during this cycle

Below you can find more ideas for New Moon rituals

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The Spiritual Side of Boundary Setting + 4 Steps to Help You Set Boundaries

Many of us, especially women, have been taught to give and give and give without question. Over time, as you probably know, this becomes exhausting and depleting. You might already have strong boundaries, or maybe you’re realizing just now that you really need to set them, but you’re afraid. If you’ve been waiting for a permission slip to create more boundaries in your life, consider this it.

You are a powerful being, and you get to decide what is and is not acceptable to you in your life (if reading that gave you a strong reaction, check out this post for tips to connect with your authentic power). You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to speak up and stand up for yourself. This is the spiritual work of boundary setting.

Boundaries are an important way of setting the terms for how it is and isn’t okay for other people to interact with you, and on an energetic level, they’re a way of protecting your own energy.

Because spiritual work isn’t all pretty all the time. Sometimes it’s the deep, unglamorous work of digging into the roots of your heart and seeing what you truly need, and then telling people that no, you won’t answer their DMs, or no, you won’t do free work anymore, or no, you can’t hold energetic support for them at this moment because you simply have nothing left to give.

I saw Gabby Bernstein live last year, and during the Q&A portion of the night a woman went up to the mic and told Gabby that she was feeling so spiritual these days— so spiritual, in fact, that all she wanted to do was lock herself in her room and meditate and read spiritual books. She said she was starting to resent her life— her kids, her work, her husband— for taking her out of that.

Gabby said, “Here’s what you don’t yet understand: your life is your spiritual practice.”

That’s always stood out to me. Meditating, ritual, yoga, tarot, all of the things we love— they can all be part of your spiritual practice. But they’re not THE spiritual practice. Your spiritual practice is how you treat people, how you treat yourself, how you move in the world, how you set boundaries.

And since we’re always evolving and growing, our boundaries are always evolving, too.

Scroll down for some tips on how to set clear boundaries.

Figure out what your boundaries are

How do you know which boundaries need to be set? How do you know when a boundary has been violated?

Practice checking in with your feelings. Boundary violations may manifest as making you feel powerless, confused, drained, disassociated, angry, or upset. When you feel that way, take an honest look and ask yourself why?

Did someone treat you in a way that’s unacceptable to you? Did you perform free emotional labor that’s leaving you drained? Are you speaking to yourself in a way that’s hurtful?

Dig in and look at why you may struggle to set boundaries

Try these journaling questions:

• What did I learn as a child about the importance of being liked, going with the flow, and saying yes?

• What did I learn as a child about saying and hearing “no?”

• What am I afraid will happen if I set and stick with clear boundaries?

Open your throat chakra

The state of your throat chakra is heavily associated with your ability to set and communicate clear boundaries. When your throat chakra is blocked, you might be afraid to stand up for yourself and be seen or fear being judged for the boundaries you set. Get seven ways to balance your throat chakra here.

Communicate clearly

Once you’ve done the work in steps 1-3, this step should come more easily. Just remember when you’re communicating your boundaries to stand firm. You can speak your boundaries with love and compassion without apologizing, feeling guilty, or making them feel optional. Be as clear, honest, and direct as you can.

Remember, you have to set that boundary clearly with yourself before you can communicate it to anyone else.

You’ve heard it before but I’ll say it again: saying no creates the space for your big YES to come in—whether that’s relationships with people who treat you well, a job that fulfills your soul, or something else. Setting boundaries aren’t just about saying no, it’s about saying YES to only the things that feel good to you and light your soul up.

What’s your relationship with boundary setting? Now’s a perfect time to take a look!