5 Simple Steps to Get Started with Shadow Work

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.

It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.

There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them. By integrating your shadow side, you become whole.

As with all deep work, sometimes a qualified professional is needed. If you feel you need help from a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, healer, or even a friend, I encourage you to do so. Facing the parts of ourselves often ignored can be difficult, especially if you've faced particularly traumatic events in your life.

I invite you to approach these offerings as ancillary allies to a shadow work practice. Here are four simple steps to help you get started with shadow work.

1. Practice Mindfulness

I mentioned in my last post that much of shadow work is becoming aware of how you’re projecting your shadow onto others and being triggered. Imagine your triggers as little notes from your shadow self.

The most effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and catch those projections and triggers is through mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to commit to 30 minutes of silent meditation a day; a simple 5 minutes can really go a long way. If you need some pointers on how to start meditating, check out this earlier blog post on 8 quick tips to “be here now.”

2. Connect with Goddesses Associated with Shadow Work

There are Goddesses worldwide across cultures who correspond with the parts of life we're often told to keep to ourselves or ignore. Each Goddess below offers unique wisdom concerning shadow work. There are many more Goddesses and Gods to connect with

Kali

Kali is the wild and intense-looking Hindu Goddess of time, death, destruction, and rebirth. She is often shown with skulls around her neck and one in her hand. Morbid as it may seem, these skulls actually represent the death of the ego. Even though the image of Kali may be jarring or even scary, she is the personification of shadow and can help you get in touch with darker aspects of your ego that you may be avoiding.

Lillith

The Goddess Lilith has roots in several cultures and religions including ancient Sumeria and Christianity. She's referred to as both a demon and a seductive sex Goddess. Lilith is in touch with her sexuality which has caused men to fear her. She represents equality between men and women. Connect with Lilith to explore any sexual shadows you may have hidden.

Hecate

Hecate is a Greek Goddess of witchcraft and magic, she's closely related to ghosts and death. Hecate is often shown standing at a fork in the road as a reminder to examine our motives clearly before making a decision. She offers protection and wisdom. Hecate is perfect to work with if you're going through transitions. Ask for her guidance to shed light on the shadow side of changes you are going through.

Once you’ve found a goddess or god that you connect with, place a card, picture, or statue of her on your altar or in a place you’ll see it regularly to offer inspiration while meditating or journaling.

One of my favorite ways to connect with the goddesses is through The Goddess Oracle card deck. It doesn’t shy away from the dark goddesses, and my readings are always so powerful when they show up!

3. Create an Altar Space to Explore your Shadow Side

Altars are powerful healing tools. Much like a sacred container, your altar can hold space and energy for difficult emotions, traumas, and experiences. An altar can be as small or large as you'd like. It serves as a physical representation of what you're working on or working through. Small objects, tarot or oracle cards, crystals, herbs, pictures, or journal entries, etc., could all be parts of an altar. Learn more about creating an altar here.

To implement an altar for shadow work, start by selecting some representative items of what you're working through. It could be as simple as a black candle and a piece of rose quartz. Use the altar space to meditate at, call upon some of the Goddesses mentioned above, cry, yell, journal, process. When you're done, leave the energy you created at your altar space. You can go about your day knowing your feelings are safe at your altar, ready to be revisited when you're ready. The altar space will also serve as a reminder of your commitment to integrating your shadow.

4. Work with Supportive Crystals

Several crystals can be used for helping you with shadow work, but these are my favorites. Here are my top 3 picks for crystals to recruit for starting shadow work:

Snowflake Obsidian

This grounding stone is my top pick for shadow work. It can help open the door to your shadow side by bringing emotions, patterns, and fears to the surface. Black obsidian is also good for shadow work, but the balancing flecks of white in the snowflake version soften and balance its energy nicely.

Blue Kyanite

This stone is the softer, subtle version of snowflake obsidian. If you’re looking for a very gentle introduction to shadow work, kyanite is your stone, or you can just add it to your shadow work crystal collection! Kyanite comes with a host of other benefits but is helpful for recalling old memories and working through obstacles.

Rose Quartz

Shadow work will most likely bring up strong emotions for you. It’s important to bring in some soothing self-love energy while diving into shadow work, and rose quartz is the mother of loving vibes!This quote really says it all.

“If darkness is the absence of Love, then the most effective tonic to use in healing internal shadow is self-love. The more love we flow into our deepest wounds and darkest emotions, the quicker we are able to clear and raise our vibration.” - Jennifer Diamond

Place your shadow work crystal on your altar or in a place you’ll see them regularly. Another good alternative is to wear these stones for a beautiful and powerful reminder of your intention to do shadow work.

5. Draw, Paint, Write & Journal

You may find that tapping into your shadow side is more difficult than you thought. If you find yourself stuck in positivity mode, grab a pen or paintbrush and spend some time journaling and creating. Allow yourself time to create and/or journal without any outcomes in mind and let your subconscious flow. You might be surprised what naturally comes up when you commit yourself to some no expectation creative time.

This is the perfect time to keep some snowflake obsidian or kyanite nearby to help bring your darker side to the surface.

I also created an infographic for those who like visuals, and I added more ways to process shadow work.

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Shadow work is not a one-and-done kind of deal. This is work that will happen over a lifetime. Every time you uncover and process one thing, you'll usually find there's more underneath. It's part of the process of being a whole human.

8 Simple Gratitude Rituals

What does gratitude do for you? It brings a sense of peace within you where there might otherwise be turmoil. Gratitude calms your nerves and makes you right-sized. All of that doesn't happen on its own. Gratitude is a state of being that can be accomplished more readily if you are vigilant about revisiting the gratitude rituals that work for you...and maybe even throwing in some new ones!

Practicing gratitude allows you to realign your roots with the universe. It can aid in manifesting your desires and help to pull you out of catastrophic thinking.  Keep scrolling for eight simple gratitude rituals to add to your practice.

1. Make a Gratitude Box

When we aren't getting what we think we should have, it's easy to lose sight of what we are grateful for. To help with this amnesia, create a Gratitude Box. Every day, put a piece of paper in it and scribble something on it that you are grateful for. In times of need, open your gratitude box and read the slips of paper. When you think you are having a tough day you might pull out a slip from a time when you were grateful for the roof over your head. For me, I know that most of my problems today are “luxury problems.” If I find myself upset that I didn't get a day off from work, I might pull out a slip of paper reminding me that I should be lucky I have such an awesome career in the first place!

2. Play the Appreciation Game

This gratitude ritual comes from Gabby Bernstein who is a goddess of gratitude and manifesting. She recommends playing the appreciation game, based on the idea that it’s good to feel good.

To play this game, “follow the fun” by focusing on what’s thriving in your life. Start to speak out loud a list of all the things you appreciate. This can range from simple physical things like your favorite ring or yoga pants to your amazing career or best friend. Start small and allow the vibration of gratitude to take you deeper and deeper into what’s thriving in your life.

If you get stuck for a moment, return to something you already said! Try to do this for at least 3 to 5 minutes, and afterward notice how you feel.

It can also be really fun to do this with another person or even a whole circle of people. Hold space for another to speak their blessings out loud, and then allow them to hold space for you.

3. Meditate with Mantras to Inspire Gratitude

Incorporate a version of this mantra that resonates with you into your meditation practice: I know the abundance of the Universe flows to and through me, and I receive freely without hesitation. I am so grateful for the abundance in my life, and I know it all comes from you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Gratitude is a muscle, and these rituals will help you flex that muscle so that gratitude becomes part of each day.

4. Ask Your Tarot or Oracle Cards

Try asking one of these questions, and then pulling a tarot card or an oracle card:

• What blessings are available to me now?

• What new blessings are coming my way?

• What am I grateful for in my career, relationships, or personal development?

• How can I express my gratitude towards myself?

• How can I express my gratitude towards others?

• What are the silver linings of challenges I have faced this year?

• How can I continue to create abundance in my life?

Tarot and oracle cards are incredible tools available to you as a mirror for your own inner wisdom. The cards you pull might give you a new perspective on certain situations or people in your life. To learn more about how to get started using tarot, click here. To learn more about using oracle cards, and get a free printable oracle card deck click here.

5. Create a Gratitude Crystal Grid

Invoke gratitude by opening your heart chakra! Gain a heart-based perspective by creating a gratitude crystal grid. Green and pink stones will speak to your heart chakra. They will vibrate love, truth, and compassion. You might choose rose quartz and green kyanite, and harmonize all of the stones with some clear quartz. If you are looking for something special choose a moss agate Merkaba for the center of your grid! You can find out more about crystal grids here.

6. Journal with Crystals for Gratitude

I encourage you to commit to doing this practice for at least ten days, and maybe even every single day. Before you go to bed each night, make a list of 10 things that you were grateful for today. You can use rose quartz to open the heart chakra, petrified wood to ease fear and connect to your deep roots, and tiger eye for balance and harmony as you journal.

What amazing things happened? What is the opportunity that something not-so-amazing may be creating for you? Create a journal specifically for this gratitude practice and flip through it when you feel discouraged to remember how blessed you are.

7. Work with Essential Oils for Gratitude

Part of being grateful is staying grounded. It's planting your roots in what matters, and letting go of everything else. For scents that inspire gratitude, choose earthy oils such as patchouli and cedar. To keep yourself firmly planted in the present try this rollerball blend with your favorite carrier oil (mine is sweet almond oil!!)

• 5 drops patchouli

• 5 drops sandalwood

• 5 drops frankincense

• 5 drops ylang ylang

8. Get Outside

It may be chilly and gray where you live, or maybe it’s beautiful and sunny. Either way, take a walk outside sans cell phone and challenge yourself to be really present. Notice the beautiful things you see. They could be really simple— the shapes of the clouds in the sky, the color of the grass, a crisp leaf on the ground.

Beyond feeling amazing after practicing these rituals, carrying a heart full of gratitude is a great way to usher in a new year! Above all, be kind. Ultimately, gratitude is an action. It's a display of thankfulness.