8 Ways to Thrive as an Empath

If you identify as an empath you probably already know that it comes with a slew of benefits and challenges. As an empath, you absorb the energy of others even when you don’t intend to. You might also notice that friends, family, and even strangers feel called to unload on you. Both of these instances can leave you feeling drained, depressed, and anxious. What’s an empath to do?

I’m going to share eight simple ways to help you thrive as an empath. As an empath myself I’ve personally used all of these techniques and use them often.

Not sure if you’re an empath? Check out this previous post to find out if you are.

Learn how to set better boundaries

Becoming a boundary-setting pro is key for anyone who identifies as an empath. Because you feel so much, you must learn to set limits for yourself and what you’ll allow from others to protect your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Setting healthy boundaries as an empath may include: limiting time with people who drain you, choosing to only work in environments that promote a sense of safety, limiting stimulating screen time, and being kind to yourself when you have to remove yourself from an unhealthy environment.

Being a master of setting boundaries takes practice. Think of it as a muscle and try setting small boundaries first and then work up to bigger ones. Learn more about the spiritual side of boundary setting in this post.

Schedule regular alone time

Living in a realm that never stops empaths will benefit from scheduling in alone time. If you find yourself exhausted but can’t pinpoint why it might be time to ask yourself “When was the last time I spent a few hours alone and away from stimulation?”

As an empath, you may tend to overextend yourself to others and not even realize it. Empaths care so deeply for others; it’s in our nature to always offer a helping hand. Schedule time for solo revitalizing activities, quiet meditation, baths, or any solo activity that restores your balance.

Practice protective meditations

Even though it might be tempting to avoid large crowds as an empath, it may not be realistic. Protective meditations and visualizations can go a long way when it comes to shielding yourself from absorbing the energy of others. There are a variety of techniques and methods to do this, and most involve shielding your aura (energetic field around your body).

Imagining a white protective light around your body and your aura can do the trick. Click here to learn a more detailed protective meditation and more about protecting your aura.

Have a plan for energy vampires

Do you have any people in your life that you dread meeting with because you know it’s going to be an hour or more of listening to them lament about all of the horrible things happening to them? That’s an energy vampire. As an empath, you’re a target for energy vampires because you care so deeply. You want to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, and be there to make that person feel better; it’s one of your strong suits.

I’m not saying you can’t be the shoulder to cry on, but you need to have a plan for it. If you know you’re going to be spending time with an energy vampire, be sure to set clear boundaries for how much time you can spend with them, do some energy clearing after you meet or talk with them, and maybe pencil in a revitalizing solo activity after your time with them.

Dive into Shadow Work

Have you experienced any addictions? Empaths are constantly bombarded with the emotions of others, so it’s common for empaths to find ways to “numb out” through food, drugs, alcohol, sex, or spending. If you suspect you may be overusing a substance or feeling outside of yourself as a way to handle your feelings digging into shadow work is a good place to start.

Here’s an explanation of why shadow work is so important for empaths from Awakened Empath by Luna & Sol.

In order to heal ourselves, function well in the world. And reclaim our life purpose as empaths, it is vital that we learn how to identify and embrace our Shadow Selves. When we are not conscious of our Shadows, they have the tendency to secretly run our lives and sabotage our efforts to be happy.

Learn more about what shadow work is and how to get started with it in these previous posts by clicking here.

Use protective gemstones

There are a variety of gemstones that can help shield, block, and absorb the negative energy that as an empath you may otherwise be getting all for yourself.

• Labradorite: Great for physical, mental, and spiritual protection labradorite will shield you from unwanted energies.

• Smoky Quartz: One of the most powerful grounding stones, smoky quartz will help keep you anchored to the Earth and feeling safe and protected.

• Snowflake Obsidian: This stone is not only grounding and protective but a great aid for diving into shadow work. Snowflake obsidian is the ideal stone to use to help you identify and release negative patterns.

• Black Tourmaline: This stone is perfect to use anytime you’re planning to spend time with a lot of people. It will create a protective shield around you while also clearing and balancing all of the chakras.

• Hematite: Will help to block negative energies from entering the aura and help to rid the aura of any current negative energy. This is a great stone to place on your desk at work.

Cleanse away negative energy often

The simple act of making a trip to your grocery store could leave you dripping with unwanted negative energy. As an empath, it’s important to cleanse yourself and your space often. Think of it as brushing your teeth! There are a variety of ways to do cleanse yourself, here’s a list of some of my favorites.

• Meditate with clear quartz. Clear quartz is the master balancer and healer and can help cleanse your entire energy system. Learn more about clear quartz here. 

• Cleanse yourself and your space with smoke. Learn more about herbs and herbal wands here. 

• Take a shower or a salt bath and visualize any unwanted energy being washed away from your body.

Spend time in nature

Mother nature has a wealth of revitalizing energy to offer; you merely need to tap into it. Because you’re already primed to feel the energy as an empath, you’ll be able to absorb the nurturing and healing energy from Gaia with ease. Try taking a break and walking barefoot in some grass, feel the energy of the Earth below you offering her support. Learn more about getting grounded on this previous post here.

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Now that you’re armed with tools to protect yourself and your energy go forth and help heal the world, sweet empath, but don’t forget to take care of yourself first!

Seeing the Same Number? Here’s What Your Numeric Messages Mean

Are you constantly stalked by a specific number or combination of numbers? Many people claim to see the same numbers repeatedly on digital clocks, license plates, registers, or anywhere numbers show up. You’re not alone!

If you’ve experienced this phenomenon, you’ve probably been curious about its meaning, maybe even scared by it. That’s precisely what started my journey into researching numeric communication. If you’re skeptical, keep reading to check out my experience with the number 11, then keep scrolling for the possible meanings behind your numeric sightings.

My number story (for the skeptics)

I’ve been stalked by the number 11 my entire life, but it ramped up in 2017. After a while, I was so suspicious of the constantly appearing number that I began taking screenshots of the constantly appearing 11’s on my phone. In just four months I was graced with 11’s over 189 times on my phone. This count doesn’t even include all the times I would see 11’s on digital clocks in my home, car, or the number just showing up randomly (which all happen very often). I don’t know about you, but that blows coincidence out of the water for me! If you read my last blog post on numerology basics, you also know that my life path number is 11. This gave me pause.

When I was in college, I was stalked specifically by the number 911. Initially, it had me spooked! I remember the first date of 9/11 since this had been happening, I was terrified to leave the house! I thought it must be a bad omen. Fortunately, not only did I make it through that day unscathed, but I also know that these are simply messages from my guides, angels, ancestors, or soul.

The artwork shown on my screen display is from The Starchild Tarot Deck by Danielle Noelle.

Why do we receive numeric messages?

Though numerology and numeric messages may have some overlap, they’re not the same thing. Numerology is based on your birthdate and name, whereas numeric messages are seemingly random occurrences that can come and go throughout your life. As I said in my last blog post on numerology basics, numbers are an ideal method of communication because they’re universal, this is also true for numeric messages!

Many, myself included, believe that the repeating numbers that millions report seeing are messages from angels, spirit guides, and/or our higher self. If you’ve been seeing a numeric message so often that you can no longer ignore it, someone or something is likely trying to tell you something. Let’s dig into what these numeric messages could mean.

What do your numeric messages mean?

You may be seeing single digits, repeating digits, or the same combination of numbers, all of which are common. This list will break down some of the most common numeric combinations people report seeing.

The best thing to do when you see one of these numbers is to pause and ask yourself what you were thinking about, it might give you a clue about what your message pertains to. Once you have a better understanding of what each number means, you’ll be able to apply this knowledge to combined numbers. For example, if you’re always seeing the combination 211, it could mean that a new relationship is on the horizon, that you need more companionship in your life, or to be aware of people you come in contact with as they may be an important person to get to know.

11, 111 & 1111

Newness and big energy! 1s are the start of a cycle so they usually indicate a fresh start, a new project, a time for a change, or the beginning of a new evolution in your life journey. 1s can signal to you that it’s time to get going on big dreams you’ve been putting off, but they may also come as sweet reminders that you’re onto something and to continue full steam ahead on your current path. Different combinations of 11s are a very common and cosmic numeric message!

22 & 222

It’s time to focus on different partnerships in your life. Is there a relationship that you’ve been avoiding that might need healing? Perhaps, you’ve been trying to do everything independently and are afraid to ask for help? 22s and 222s ask you to find balance in your life, possibly through the help and aid of others.

33 & 333

3s signal a time of harmony and possibly creativity and creation too. Are there areas of your life that feel out of whack, like you’re missing something? This numeric message may be signaling to you that it’s time to try something different and get out of your comfort zone. If you’ve felt pulled to try a new creative hobby or physical activity, now’s the time. Notice if investing time in a new creation or project brings you a revived sense of harmony and well-being.

44 & 444

4s are your sign to get manifesting! This number signifies a time of physical and spiritual becoming one and working together. If you see this number pop up, you may notice that your thoughts are becoming a reality with ease. If you’ve been holding off on trying to manifest something, it’s a sign that now is the time and your angels and guides are ready to help you!

55 & 555

A change is coming! 5s are here to clue you into a possible transformation or change on your horizon. It could be big or small, but the lesson from this numeric message is to roll with the punches throughout this transition. Trying to resist any upcoming changes could make the situation worse, trust that you’re on the right path even if it feels uncertain.

66 & 666

This is a number that may come with some baggage for you, it might even scare you. Rest assured that anything you were taught about 666 will not pertain to its meaning here. 6s are powerful numeric messages that will most certainly get your attention. This numeric message is here to help wake you up if you’re stuck in a negative thought pattern. Maybe you’re stuck in a difficult challenge or situation, 6 messages want to remind you that shifting your thought patterns to more positive ones may be the key to accessing the power you need to move through your difficulties.

77 & 777

There is a powerful wave of love and support riding right behind you! Messages of 7s are full of awakened energy, wisdom, and spiritual attunement. This numeric message wants you to remember how supported you truly are and to trust that you’re on the right path. If you’re seeing 7s this is a great time to meditate and connect with your angels, spirit guides, or higher self.

8 & 888

It’s time to step into your power! This commanding numeric message reminds you that you have everything you need to claim what is yours and live your truth. If you’ve identified your life path but feel put down or muffled by others, 8s remind you that you can and should claim your power and move forward with your goals.

9 & 999

This numeric message is associated with endings. Don’t fret though, with all endings come new beginnings. 9 messages are here to help you accept any endings that are currently happening in your life. Whether it’s with a partner, career, or way of thinking, now is the time to let go and surrender to what is.

00 & 000

This sweet nudge from the universe is a simple one, the divine (whatever that means to you) is near, when you see a 0 message rest assured that the love of the universe is all around you.

You can find a variety of meanings for number combinations in books and online. I encourage you to find meanings that resonate the most with you and your current situation. Some like to take geometric and sacred geometry symbols into consideration for understanding numeric messages, and some prefer to focus on angels and ascended masters. If you enjoy my interpretations, you’ll probably enjoy the book Messages in the Number by Alana Fairchild, as much of my inspiration on numbers has come from her teachings.

Once you’re accustomed to seeing these numeric reminders they’ll likely become a natural part of your day. You’ll likely begin to welcome them as sweet signs of encouragement or a warning from the spirit realm. The more you embrace your numeric messages, the more you’ll begin to notice them.

6 Signs Your Shadow Work Practice Is Working

We’re often encouraged to ignore our darkness. To pretend that we don’t have inner demons, that we can be all love and light, that we can be “healed” without diving into our wounds.

The truth is that we can’t, and that’s where shadow work comes in.

Shadow work is the conscious practice of exploring your dark feelings, often ignored in your subconscious, that you feel ashamed and afraid of.

The aim of shadow work is to bring that darkness to the light and integrate it into your whole self. So that you can heal and become whole.

Click to learn more about what shadow work is and 4 simple steps to get started with it.

But once you start working with your shadow, how do you know that it’s really working?

This post will share 6 signs that your shadow work practice is working, moving you towards being a more healed, whole human being.

1. Other people’s behaviors don’t trigger you like they used to. They no longer create intense emotional responses or cause you to go into your head. You notice their behaviors, of course, but no longer feel a need to react or respond.

2. You drop blame and denial. When a shadow aspect of yourself shows up, you don’t deny it and you no longer blame yourself or the person who may have triggered you. You’re learning to acknowledge and accept your shadow, so you may even feel grateful to those who have helped shine a light on it so that it can be transformed and healed.

3. You judge other people (and yourself) less. When you’ve gone into the depths of your own darkness and learned to offer yourself complete acceptance and forgiveness, it’s so much easier to offer that to other people, as well.

You’re able to be much more accepting and compassionate towards others because you realize that your judgments of others stem from your own unhealed places. Once you heal those wounds, other people’s behaviors don’t phase you.

4. You recognize that you have become part of someone’s shadow. According to shadow work expert Jessi Huntenberg, the shadow work journey starts as what was done to you— all the conditioning and fear and wounds you have from your family, your childhood, from society— and slowly you get to a point where you realize that you are someone else’s shadow, too.

When you can realize this and offer yourself forgiveness for the people that you hurt when you were operating from a place of your own wounds, you know that your shadow work is working.

5. You’re no longer afraid to be seen. So many of us have wounds around visibility. We’re afraid to be seen. We feel like if people knew this or that about us, they wouldn’t love us. They would see how “unworthy” we really are.

When your shadow work is really working, that shame around the darkest parts of you begins to dissipate. It gets transformed into acceptance and love. And so you’re no longer afraid to be seen as you really are because you accept and love yourself fully and wholly.

6. Your life has become more peaceful. This is what we all want, right? Shadow work can get you there. Your life becomes more peaceful when you fully embrace and love ALL parts of yourself— the parts that are easy to love and the parts that are really difficult. Your interactions with others, your relationships with others, and your relationship with yourself all become a lot more positive.

What is your relationship with shadow work? Which of these signs are you experiencing?

5 Simple Steps to Get Started with Shadow Work

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.

It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.

There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them. By integrating your shadow side, you become whole.

As with all deep work, sometimes a qualified professional is needed. If you feel you need help from a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, healer, or even a friend, I encourage you to do so. Facing the parts of ourselves often ignored can be difficult, especially if you've faced particularly traumatic events in your life.

I invite you to approach these offerings as ancillary allies to a shadow work practice. Here are four simple steps to help you get started with shadow work.

1. Practice Mindfulness

I mentioned in my last post that much of shadow work is becoming aware of how you’re projecting your shadow onto others and being triggered. Imagine your triggers as little notes from your shadow self.

The most effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and catch those projections and triggers is through mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to commit to 30 minutes of silent meditation a day; a simple 5 minutes can really go a long way. If you need some pointers on how to start meditating, check out this earlier blog post on 8 quick tips to “be here now.”

2. Connect with Goddesses Associated with Shadow Work

There are Goddesses worldwide across cultures who correspond with the parts of life we're often told to keep to ourselves or ignore. Each Goddess below offers unique wisdom concerning shadow work. There are many more Goddesses and Gods to connect with

Kali

Kali is the wild and intense-looking Hindu Goddess of time, death, destruction, and rebirth. She is often shown with skulls around her neck and one in her hand. Morbid as it may seem, these skulls actually represent the death of the ego. Even though the image of Kali may be jarring or even scary, she is the personification of shadow and can help you get in touch with darker aspects of your ego that you may be avoiding.

Lillith

The Goddess Lilith has roots in several cultures and religions including ancient Sumeria and Christianity. She's referred to as both a demon and a seductive sex Goddess. Lilith is in touch with her sexuality which has caused men to fear her. She represents equality between men and women. Connect with Lilith to explore any sexual shadows you may have hidden.

Hecate

Hecate is a Greek Goddess of witchcraft and magic, she's closely related to ghosts and death. Hecate is often shown standing at a fork in the road as a reminder to examine our motives clearly before making a decision. She offers protection and wisdom. Hecate is perfect to work with if you're going through transitions. Ask for her guidance to shed light on the shadow side of changes you are going through.

Once you’ve found a goddess or god that you connect with, place a card, picture, or statue of her on your altar or in a place you’ll see it regularly to offer inspiration while meditating or journaling.

One of my favorite ways to connect with the goddesses is through The Goddess Oracle card deck. It doesn’t shy away from the dark goddesses, and my readings are always so powerful when they show up!

3. Create an Altar Space to Explore your Shadow Side

Altars are powerful healing tools. Much like a sacred container, your altar can hold space and energy for difficult emotions, traumas, and experiences. An altar can be as small or large as you'd like. It serves as a physical representation of what you're working on or working through. Small objects, tarot or oracle cards, crystals, herbs, pictures, or journal entries, etc., could all be parts of an altar. Learn more about creating an altar here.

To implement an altar for shadow work, start by selecting some representative items of what you're working through. It could be as simple as a black candle and a piece of rose quartz. Use the altar space to meditate at, call upon some of the Goddesses mentioned above, cry, yell, journal, process. When you're done, leave the energy you created at your altar space. You can go about your day knowing your feelings are safe at your altar, ready to be revisited when you're ready. The altar space will also serve as a reminder of your commitment to integrating your shadow.

4. Work with Supportive Crystals

Several crystals can be used for helping you with shadow work, but these are my favorites. Here are my top 3 picks for crystals to recruit for starting shadow work:

Snowflake Obsidian

This grounding stone is my top pick for shadow work. It can help open the door to your shadow side by bringing emotions, patterns, and fears to the surface. Black obsidian is also good for shadow work, but the balancing flecks of white in the snowflake version soften and balance its energy nicely.

Blue Kyanite

This stone is the softer, subtle version of snowflake obsidian. If you’re looking for a very gentle introduction to shadow work, kyanite is your stone, or you can just add it to your shadow work crystal collection! Kyanite comes with a host of other benefits but is helpful for recalling old memories and working through obstacles.

Rose Quartz

Shadow work will most likely bring up strong emotions for you. It’s important to bring in some soothing self-love energy while diving into shadow work, and rose quartz is the mother of loving vibes!This quote really says it all.

“If darkness is the absence of Love, then the most effective tonic to use in healing internal shadow is self-love. The more love we flow into our deepest wounds and darkest emotions, the quicker we are able to clear and raise our vibration.” - Jennifer Diamond

Place your shadow work crystal on your altar or in a place you’ll see them regularly. Another good alternative is to wear these stones for a beautiful and powerful reminder of your intention to do shadow work.

5. Draw, Paint, Write & Journal

You may find that tapping into your shadow side is more difficult than you thought. If you find yourself stuck in positivity mode, grab a pen or paintbrush and spend some time journaling and creating. Allow yourself time to create and/or journal without any outcomes in mind and let your subconscious flow. You might be surprised what naturally comes up when you commit yourself to some no expectation creative time.

This is the perfect time to keep some snowflake obsidian or kyanite nearby to help bring your darker side to the surface.

I also created an infographic for those who like visuals, and I added more ways to process shadow work.

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Shadow work is not a one-and-done kind of deal. This is work that will happen over a lifetime. Every time you uncover and process one thing, you'll usually find there's more underneath. It's part of the process of being a whole human.

What is Shadow Work & Why You Need It

When was the last time you had an all-consuming work week that resulted in snapping at someone you love? You don’t mean to, you don’t want to, but it just comes out. I’ve certainly been there too.

Just one week, or even less sometimes, of repression can result in some pretty gnarly backlash.

Now, imagine what years of repressing part of your soul might cause. Let’s go one step further. Imagine what the repression of an entire society of souls might look like.

You probably don’t have to spend much time imagining this because it seems to be playing out right in front of our eyes.

I don’t mean to scare you off and promise you that this isn’t a doom and gloom rant! This is a topic that has some stigma attached to it, but it also desperately needs to be talked about.

Shadow work is something that has been calling to me since the passing of my grandma and my dad in 2015. After experiencing this loss, I went into a dark place that I’d never experienced or even knew was possible for me to visit. I was scared of myself. I was scared of what others thought of me. I was scared I’d never come back.

Through therapy and soul searching of my own, I slowly came back to the light, but not as the same person. I was reborn with integration and understanding of the darkness that lives within me, that is a part of me.

Since this experience, I’ve been drawn to explore shadow work more deeply. Before I dive into some methods for exploring shadow work let me give you a brief overview of what it is and why we so desperately need it right now.

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the conscious effort of exploring the dark feelings, often ignored, that bring up shame, embarrassment, and fear in you. Many of these shadow feelings are not on the surface and reside in the subconscious.

The practice of exploring the shadow side of our nature can be found in religions and rituals all over the world, and more recently by psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Here’s another explanation of what the shadow self is:

“...the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions and embarrassing fears.”- Mateo Sol

Why is Shadow Work Important?

In order to become a whole and fully healed person, you must integrate the dark and the light.

The more you suppress shadow the more it will come seeping out in destructive and self-sabotaging ways, oftentimes when you least expect it. When you acknowledge shadow and give it space to be, you may find that you’re more patient, kind, and accepting of yourself and others.

All worldly change must start within first. Taking a closer look at your own dark side can further the progression of our society taking a look within as well. Think of shadow work as a way to lift the veils and expose our earthly troubles. In order to heal, individually and as a species, we must acknowledge the dark.

Getting Started With Shadow Work?

You might be wondering how to identify parts of your shadow side. If these attributes tend to reside in the subconscious how can you become aware of them? You know the phrase, “you spot it you got it”? Most of us walk around projecting our shadow sides onto others, constantly judging and condemning others, for things that secretly reside deep within us.

Next step, cultivate mindfulness.

Now that you understand that your gut feelings of anger and judgment are your own shadows being reflected back to you it’s a matter of being aware of when they come up.

Keeping a journal or a list on your phone can be a great way of keeping track of instances, people, and events that send you down the judgment rabbit hole.

Side note, exploring shadow is heavy work. Though you can certainly work on it alone, it may bring up things that are hard to work through on your own. If you really want to dig deep, I encourage you to recruit guidance from a therapist or healer as well.

Next week I’ll share some rituals and tools for diving deeper into exploring your shadow side.