Crystal Cleansing & Charging 101 // 8 Ways to Care for Your Crystals

Perfectly structured lattices of molecules repeat and layer until a crystalline structure begins to emerge. Crystals are the magical and living offspring of earth, heat, and pressure. Viewing your crystals in this way can help you sense their aliveness, at least it does for me.

The perfect structures within crystals make them masters at storing and emitting energy. Because they’re so easily impressed upon, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that they will require energy maintenance, just like you and me.

Aside from honoring your crystals as the entities that they are, charging and cleansing them will also make them more useful. Like all energy beings, your crystals may hold onto unintended frequencies or could be charged with energy that’s not in alignment with your desires. 

Before we dive into some actionable steps for crystal care, I’d like to pull apart the differences between cleansing and charging. Even though these terms are often used interchangeably, they are entirely different facets of crystal care.

Here's a breakdown of the differences between crystal cleansing and charging. 

Now that you understand the basic functions of cleansing vs. charging crystals, let’s dive into some steps you can take to care for your crystals. 

These suggestions are by no means an exhaustive list of ways to cleanse and charge your crystals! Learn more in my new book, The Zenned Out Guide to Understanding Crystals. I also recommend you run everything through your intuitive filter and only practice what feels like a good fit to you. 

Crystal Cleansing 101

Here are a few reasons why you might want to cleanse your crystals: 

• It’s new

• You let someone else handle it  

• You no longer need to use it for a specific purpose 

Your cleansing schedule can be as regimented or as intuitive as you like. You might decide to cleanse your crystals every time you receive or purchase a new one, or you can wait until the crystal feels like it needs cleansing. I lean towards the more intuitive method, but both are valid. 

5 Ways to Cleanse Your Crystals

1. Direct sunlight for 10-20 minutes. This method works best with bright midday sunlight. Sun cleansing is one of the simplest and most effective cleansing methods. Caution: some crystals can fade in sunlight. Here are some of the most common ones: amethyst, citrine, celestite, and fluorite. Short periods in the sun, will be okay, but do not leave crystals susceptible to fading in the sun for more than ten minutes every few months. 

2. Hold in running water for 2-5 minutes. Fresh running water from nature is ideal, but tap water will do in a pinch. Water from nature will require less cleansing time. 

3. Bury in the earth for 1-5 days. The burying method is gentler, so it requires a bit more time. 

4. Hold your crystal in cleansing smoke of your choice. Frankincense, lavender, rosemary, or even a cleansing incense will work. 

5. Hold your crystal in your hand and call upon your guides, ancestors, and angels (or any other force you connect with) to cleanse your crystal. Visualize a white or rainbow light enveloping your crystals and cleansing away any unwanted energies. 

Crystal Charging 101 Here are a few reasons why you might want to charge your crystals. 

• You want to use it for a specific purpose. 

• You feel as though it has lost its effectiveness. 

• You feel intuitively nudged to charge the crystal or feel as though the crystal is requesting to charging in a specific way. 

You don’t have to charge your crystals to work with them, but it will undoubtedly enhance their effectiveness and increase your connection with your crystals. There are similarities between the techniques used for cleansing and charging; the most important distinction is that charging is adding specific energy to your crystal. There are a variety of ways to do this, but understanding your intention is critical. 

3 Ways to Charge Your Crystals

1. Place your crystal under the light of the moon phase of your choice for 1-2 nights. Working with the moon phases is one of my favorite ways to charge my crystals. Each moon phase has specific energy; you can learn more about that here. For example, if you’re working with a crystal to give you energy, you’ll want to charge it under the light of a waxing moon. The waxing moon is the growth phase of the moon and corresponds to action and energy. Alternatively, if you’d like to charge a crystal to help you rest, you’d want to charge it under the dark moon, which is a restorative moon phase. 

2. Place your crystal in the morning or evening sun for 20-30 minutes. Our life-giving sun can be used for both cleansing and charging. I do suggest being mindful of what time of day you use the sun for either charging or cleansing. This method works well if you feel like your crystal needs a little boost of energy. 

3. Charge your crystals with your hands. The heat and warmth of your hands alone are enough to charge up your crystals. Charging with your hands is an ideal method to use when you’re working with crystals for massage or bodywork. Hold or rub your crystal in your hands for 1-2 minutes for a quick charge. 

I hope you feel empowered to start connecting with your crystals using these tools! Your crystals will thank you, and the more you connect with them, the better they’ll work for you. 

You can dive much deeper into this topic in my new book, The Zenned Out Guide to Understanding Crystals. In this new book, I share how crystal energy works, how to program a crystal, and how to use crystal grids. This book also contains a fully illustrated crystal guide! 

Meditations for Each Moon Phase + Free Guided Meditation

There are so many ways to tune into Mother Moon. But did you know, there’s a powerful tool you can use to align yourself with lunar energy that requires nothing more than your mind?

Meditation is the ultimate tool to tap into the cycles and energy of the moon. 

Meditation grants you the opportunity to shift your energy on a deep level. During meditation, you can visualize and experience your desires on a physical and energetic level in a way that produces real change. Now, line these powerful energetic shifts up with Mama Moon, and you’ve got some real magick. 

In this post, I’m going to breakdown meditation techniques for the five primary moon phases, including the new moon, waxing moon, full moon, waning moon, and dark moon. 

I include a free guided meditation for the waning moon that you can get access to here. To purchase guided meditations for all five moon phases, click here. 

For each moon meditation, I offer you a meditation script, a suggested mantra, and a list of optional tools. Please, don’t feel like you can’t perform these meditations without the optional tools! Your mind is incredibly powerful, and the meditations alone will have a powerful effect on your energy and intentions. 

Keep in mind; you don’t have to perform these meditations at night, when the moon is out. Feel free to perform your moon meditations any time of the day during the moon phase. Just like the stars in astrology, the effects of the moon can be felt even when it’s not visible. As above, so below. 

New Moon Meditation

The new moon is a time to cleanse, prepare, have hope, and be open. The new moon invites you to welcome fresh energy and be aware of guidance and direction. One of the best ways to tune into the energy of the new moon is, you guessed it, meditation. When you quiet your mind, you enable yourself to tune into the flow of information from your guides, higher self, and the universe. It’s within the realm of spirit that you can receive guidance.

New moon card featured from The Ritual Deck

The meditation for the new moon is all about cleansing your energy and allowing yourself to receive guidance from spirit. The new moon is less about taking action and more about tuning into your highest truth and receiving guidance. 

New Moon Mantra: My energy is clear, and I am open to receiving guidance. 

New Moon Optional Tools: Selenite wand, white candle, cleansing herbs like cedar or rosemary. 

New Moon Meditation: 

• Sit in a chair or on the ground with your spine upright.

• Say aloud: New moon, I ask you to help cleanse and clear away any energy no longer serving me. 

• Quiet your mind, and become aware of your breath.

• Start sending each inhale deep into your belly. 

• Begin extending your inhales, and your exhales. 

• Visualize white cleansing light coming from the new moon softly surrounding your body. 

• Imagine that this white cleansing energy is gently clearing away energy no longer serving you. 

• Continue to focus on your breath and imagine the cleansing energy cleansing your aura for a few minutes. 

• When you feel that your energy has been cleansed, thank the new moon. 

• Say aloud: New moon, I ask that you and my guides share guidance with me about what I should focus on this lunar cycle. 

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Be open and receptive to information that may come to you.

• Trust any sensations you experience as truth.

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Stay in this receptive space for as long as you’d like. 

• Thank the moon and your guides for any information they shared with you. 

• Release any control of your breath.

• Open your eyes, connect with your body, and jot down any information you received. 

Waxing Moon Meditation

The waxing moon invites you to grow and take action. While the new moon is focused on receiving guidance, this phase beckons you to act on the information you received during the new moon phase. The lively energy of the waxing moon intensifies as it nears closer to the full moon. The waxing moon phase includes the waxing crescent, the first quarter moon, and the waxing gibbous moon phases.

Moon cards featured from The Ritual Deck.

The meditation for the waxing moon focuses on activating your energy center and solar plexus chakra. This is a great time to focus on completing tasks you’ve been putting off or finishing a difficult project. With the combination of the wave of energy from the waxing moon and your internal energy, you will be unstoppable at accomplishing your goals.  

Waxing Moon Mantra: I have everything I need to accomplish my desires.  

Waxing Moon Optional Tools: Tiger’s eye, sunstone, or citrine, a yellow candle, and a spicy cup of tea (chai is a great option).

Waxing Moon Meditation: 

• Sit in a chair or on the ground with your spine upright. 

• Say aloud: Growing moon, I ask you to spark a fire within me to give me all of the energy and wisdom I need to accomplish my goals. 

• Quiet your mind, and become aware of your breath.

• Start sending each inhale deep into your belly. 

• Begin extending your inhales, and your exhales. 

• Visualize a golden yellow light coming from the moon and connecting with your solar plexus region (below your sternum and above your belly button). Visualize this light sparking a fire within your solar plexus area. With every inhale, the fire and the golden light grow bigger and brighter. 

• Begin the breath of fire to move this energy throughout your body. The breath of fire is conducted by taking a sharp and fast inhale followed by a quick and forceful exhale. You should see your low belly moving up and down for this breath. If you feel lightheaded at any point, stop the breath of fire. 

• As you breathe, visualize the golden yellow energy flowing throughout your body. 

• Complete three rounds of 30-60 breaths of fire

• Release all control over your breath and allow your breath to return to its normal state. 

• Say aloud: Growing moon, I ask that you give my signs over the coming days to indicate that I am taking the right action.  

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Be open and receptive to information that may come to you.

• Trust any sensations you experience as truth.

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Stay in this receptive space for as long as you’d like. 

• Thank the moon for its energy.

• Release any control of your breath.

• Open your eyes, connect with your body, and jot down any information you received. 

Full Moon Meditation

The full moon is a time of celebration, fulfillment, and gratitude. Even if you haven’t reached your goals, the full moon invites you to pause and celebrate all of the abundance you do have in your life. The full moon is also an ideal time to perform magick work of all kinds as it is the most potent moon phase and affects us the most.

The full moon card is featured from The Ritual Deck

The moon is completely full for about a minute. Aside from this one minute of total fullness, the moon is either at its peak waxing or waning phase. These peak phases are the most potent times for action or release. You can read more about waxing vs. waning lunar energy here. This is something to keep in mind during this meditation, as it may change the time and purpose you decide to use this meditation for. 

Full Moon Mantra: I am grateful for all that has come, and all that is still coming to me.   

Full Moon Optional Tools: Rainbow, white, or peach moonstone, purple candle, dried mugwort. 

Full Moon Meditation: 

• Sit in a chair or on the ground with your spine upright.

• Say aloud: Full moon, I ask you to fill me with gratitude and reveal the magick all around me. 

• Quiet your mind, and become aware of your breath.

• Start sending each inhale deep into your belly. 

• Begin extending your inhales, and your exhales. 

• Visualize the bright white light of the full moon bathing you in sparkling white light. 

• Bring something to mind that you’re grateful for. Allow yourself to experience your gratitude fully. Continue bringing things to mind that you are grateful for. 

• Sit in this place of gratitude for as long as you’d like and continue to focus on your breath and the sparkling light of the full moon. 

• You can stay in this place of gratitude for the remainder of the meditation or continue and connect with spirit. 

• Say aloud: Full moon, I ask that you help me open up to the spirit realm. 

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Be open and receptive to information that may come to you.

• Trust any sensations you experience as truth.

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Stay in this receptive space for as long as you’d like. 

• Thank the moon and any spirit guides for any information they shared with you. 

• Release any control of your breath.

• Open your eyes, connect with your body, and jot down any information you received. 

Waning Moon Meditation

The waning moon invites you to release anything that’s no longer serving you and accept your current situation as is. This energy may also require you to reevaluate your previous desire and let go of any expectations you might have or control of your current situation. Download my free waning moon meditation here.

Last quarter moon card featured from The Ritual Deck.

The waning moon is a potent reminder that The Universe doesn’t always work on our timeline. Things might look or feel out of control, but it all has a purpose. Beyond the harsher side of letting go, the waxing moon has a soft side of acceptance of what is. Though this phase might seem quite active, it is actually more passive. I invite you to imagine waves gently removing what needs to go. Love and accept everything that remains. 

Waning Moon Mantra: I release what no longer serves me and accept myself as I am. 

 Waning Moon Optional Tools: Obsidian, rose quartz, black candle, and cedar.

Waning Moon Meditation: 

• Sit in a chair or on the ground with your spine upright.

• Say aloud: Waning moon, I ask you to show me what needs to go and what needs to stay. 

• Quiet your mind, and become aware of your breath.

• Start sending each inhale deep into your belly. 

• Begin extending your inhales, and your exhales. 

• Visualize a soft pink light coming down from the waning moon and weaving all around you. Imagine that this soft pink light is whisking away any stagnant energy, old beliefs, or cords connected to other people that are no longer serving you. Imagine it’s sending anything it takes from you down into the Earth to be transformed into useful energy for someone else. 

• Some things might stay that you want to go and that’s ok. 

• Imagine this soft pink light is now surrounding you like a soft cloud of love. 

• Say aloud: Waning moon, I ask you to help me love and accept myself where I am right now.

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Be open and receptive to receiving love and acceptance. 

• Trust any sensations you experience as truth.

• Continue to focus on your breath. 

• Stay in this loving space for as long as you’d like. 

• Thank the moon for the release and love that it shared with you. 

• Release any control of your breath.

• Open your eyes, connect with your body, and jot down any information you received. 

Dark Moon Meditation

The dark moon is a time of rest, integration, and restoration. This moon phase beckons you to do very little. This is a time to reflect on everything that transpired during this moon cycle so you can integrate it into your being. Without proper integration, cycles will continue to be repeated. 

Dark moon cared featured from The Ritual Deck.

The dark moon phase happens right before the new moon when the moon isn’t visible in the night sky. You can learn more about the difference between the dark moon and the new moon here. 

Dark Moon Mantra: I am allowed to rest. Rest is necessary for growth.

Dark Moon Optional Tools: black tourmaline, blue or black candle, dried lavender. 

Dark Moon Meditation: 

• Sit in a chair or on the ground with your spine upright. 

• Say aloud: Dark Moon, I ask you to guide me to deep rest so that I can integrate everything that has happened. 

• Quiet your mind, and become aware of your breath.

• Start sending each inhale deep into your belly. 

• Begin extending your inhales, and your exhales. 

• Visualize a dark blue sparkling light coming from the dark moon and meeting you at the top of your head. Imagine that this blue energy is warm and heavy. Visualize the energy gently touch each part of your body, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, covering you like a warm blanket. 

• Notice thoughts that come up and ask if they need anything to be resolved. You may have thoughts and feelings that come up that will require you to purge emotions. Let your emotions come and go as they need. 

• Say aloud: Dark Moon, I ask that you help me experience the light and shadow of any emotions that come up. 

• Continue to focus on the breath and the warm blanket of energy from the moon. 

• Stay in this receptive space for as long as you’d like. 

• Thank the moon for its comfort and restoration. 

• Release any control of your breath.

• Open your eyes, connect with your body, and jot down any information you received. 

The phases of the moon can be used as a guide to manifest, trust, release, connect, and rest. Each phase offers you a reminder to tune into different kinds of energy and different aspects of your life. Meditation is a powerful way to put this energy into practice. 

If you’d like to learn more about working with lunar energy, you can check out lots of free content from our blog here or purchase my Meditate with the Moon bundle of guided meditations here.  

Understanding Waxing VS Waning Lunar Energy + How They Relate to Full Moons

The moon’s influence over the tides serves as a constant reminder of its continuous push and pull of energy. Each phase of the moon imparts a specific kind of energy onto you and any magickal workings you perform. When we zoom out and take a more straightforward look at lunar energy, we can understand it as expansive vs. contracting energy.

I’ve been sharing an annual moon phase calendar with my newsletter subscribers for the past five years. One of the most common questions I receive is how to use the moon phase calendar. This simplest and most effective way, in my belief, is to weave the waxing and waning energy of the phases into your life. 

It can feel overwhelming to keep track of every single moon phase and its ever-changing astrological sign. Working with each phase (new, waxing crescent, first quarter, waxing gibbous, etc.) is more nuanced but isn’t necessary to fully benefit from the effects of lunar energy. 

In a busy world where self-care is shouted from the rooftops, shouldn’t we be finding ways to connect with ourselves and nature in easier ways? Rather than skipping the ritual or the meditation because it seems like "too much"” I want to offer you easy methods to honor lunar energy. 

Cards featured from The Ritual Deck.

Waxing Energy Vs. Waning Energy

When we break down lunar energy into its purest forms, we have waxing energy and waning energy. Waxing energy is in alignment with growth, expansion, and abundance. Waning energy is in alignment with releasing, surrendering, and resting. 

When does the waxing phase happen?

The waxing phase of the moon cycle begins at the new moon and ends at the peak of the moon’s fullness. 

When does the waning phase happen?

The waning phase begins the moment the moon starts decreasing in light and ends at the dark moon. If you’d like some clarity about the dark moon vs. the new moon, check out this previous blog post I shared. 

Waxing Moon Energy Correspondences

• Elements: Fire and Air

• Yang 

• Action

• Growth

• Abundance 

• Celebration

• Accumulation

• Seeking

• Motivation

WaningMoon Energy Correspondences

• Elements: Water and Earth

• Yin

• Passive

• Releasing

• Letting go

• Surrender

• Acceptance

• Peace

• Review

• Integration

• Reflection

• Rest

Working With Waxing & Waning Energy Daily

Once you begin working with the phases of the moon in this way, you’ll likely feel more in tune with her energy. Rather than looking up the specific dates for each new moon and full moon, you’ll be in flow with the entire cycle of mama moon. You may begin to feel so in sync with her energy that you instinctively recognize waxing vs. waning energy on a soul level. 

In my practice, I rely on the energy of the waxing or waning moon for basic decisions throughout my day. Throughout my day, I may decide to do or not do certain things based on the moon being in a waxing or waning phase. 

Aid in Decision Making 

When faced with the decision to push forward or let it go, notice what moon phase you’re in for guidance. If you’re in a waxing phase, push on; if you’re in a waning phase, consider letting it go. This idea can be applied to interactions with people, manifesting work, and projects. Of course, there are times when you may not have the option to “let go” of a project that genuinely needs to get finished. If you’re in a waning moon phase and really need to complete something, you can still make a mental shift to let go of expectations and desired outcomes. It’s a subtle but powerful shift.

Burning Candles

Candle magick is one of the easiest ways to shift your energy. When you align it with lunar energy, it is even more potent. When I say “candle magick” in regards to daily energy work, I simply mean lighting a colored candle that’s in alignment with lunar energy, that’s it!

Candle colors that align with waxing energy: white, red, yellow, orange, green, gold

Candle colors that align with waning energy: black, blue, purple, pink, brown, silver

Here’s an example of how to apply this to a real-life situation. If you’re trying to bring more financial abundance into your life and it’s a waxing moon phase, light a green candle to expand your wealth, if it’s a waning moon phase, light a blue candle to bring in a sense of peace and acceptance around your desire to increase your financial abundance. 

Adding and Clearing Energy

When you get in tune with the cycle of the moon, you may find that you enjoy cleansing the energy of yourself and your space more during the waning moon phase. Because the energy of the waning moon is associated with releasing, clearing, and letting go, it will amplify your desires to cleanse and purify. Alternatively, if you feel the need to add energy to yourself or your space, the waxing moon phase will be in better alignment. 

Wearing specific crystals

One of my favorite ways to stay in sync with waxing and waning energy is to wear specific gemstones that are in alignment with the current energy of the moon. Here's a list of crystals that align with waxing vs. waning energy.

Waxing Moon Crystals: citrine, tiger's eye, green moss agate, sunstone, pyrite, sodalite, lapis lazuli, green aventurine, garnet, rainbow moonstone, turquoise, fluorite, kyanite, carnelian, and malachite.

Waning Moon Crystals: obsidian, snowflake obsidian, hematite, black tourmaline, rose quartz, smoky quartz, rhodonite, prehnite, larimar, black moonstone, onyx, jasper, labradorite, and bloodstone.

Full Moons & Waxing and Waning Energy

The different energy associated with the waxing vs. the waning phases of the moon is especially relevant for the full moon. The full moon is the most intense point of the lunar cycle, so understanding the waning vs. the waxing side of it is really helpful! The full moon can be broken down into three parts, waxing side of the full moon, 100% lumination (which only happens for about one minute!), and waning side of the full moon. If you are going to perform a more in-depth ritual, knowing which side of the full moon to perform it on will add a very intense and specific kind of energy to your ritual. 

I hope this breakdown of waxing vs. waning lunar energy helps you feel more confident in your ability to connect with the moon daily! You can find more in-depth rituals to work with lunar energy in the blog posts below:

• How to Journal with the Moon Phases + 10 Journal Prompts

• Meditations for Each Moon Phase + Free Guided Meditation

• 4 Rituals for the Waning Moon + Card Spread

• Rituals for Every Moon Phase // Free Printable Moon Cards

• New Moon Card Spread

• Yoga, Mantra, Pranayama for the Full Moon

• More Full Moon Suggestions

• Three Dark Moon Rituals

3 Rituals for Letting Go

What is your relationship with letting go?

Ritual and magical practice can help us with more than manifesting, attracting, and calling in. It can also help us shed, let go, and transform ourselves and parts of our lives. The winter season invites us to incubate, release, and hibernate. It is an ideal time for release work (as well as the fall!). The phases of the moon that correspond to release are all the waning phases - the waning gibbous moon, the last quarter moon, the waning crescent moon, and the dark moon. Learn more about the phases of the moon with The Ritual Deck (pictured below.)

Before we get into the rituals, I also want to add that we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to let go of things, and I want to honor that letting go can be really hard. Especially if what we’re letting go of has been something we have loved and cherished but is no longer a fit, feels comfortable, and/or feels safe. 

So please, be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, and let release happen on your own timeline. 

Keep scrolling to find a few rituals to support you in letting go.

MOON RITUAL FOR LETTING GO

Our sweet, gorgeous moon is more than just an archetype, a deity, or energy. She is a real living body just like the Earth that we can go outside and look at, connect with, and talk to. I think sometimes we forget this but this is one of my favorite practices! 

This is ideal to do when the moon is in its waning phases but still visible (so not the dark moon). 

For this ritual, what you’ll need is yourself, an offering for the moon, and clarity on what you’re releasing. Your offering could be anything - a plate of your dinner, a glass of water, a branch, a flower, a drawing, a song - let your intuition guide you and go with what feels right. 

When you have your offering, it’s ideal to go outside and sit or stand under the moon. If it’s really cold out or you don’t have space outdoors to do this, you can also sit by a window - that works just as well! 

Take some time to center and ground yourself, entering a ritual space. Turn your gaze to the moon, ask to connect with her, and share your offering with her. Spend some time gazing at her and share your offering with her in whatever way feels good to you.

When you’re ready, tell her what you’re desiring to release. Ask for her help letting go. Sit in meditation, drawing down her energy and light through your crown and your whole body, letting this energy fill you up and either help you release whatever you’re desiring to release internally (blocks, fears, internal limits, ways of talking to self, etc), or charge you with the courage and power to release externally (a relationship, a job, a situation, project, etc.). 

When you feel the energy shift, you know you’re finished! Thank the moon, ground yourself again, and spend some time journaling and processing afterward. 

TAROT OR ORACLE SPREAD FOR LETTING GO

For this ritual, you’ll need your tarot or oracle deck and journal. Take some time to create a ritual space, whatever that means to you, and ground yourself before working with your cards. Set the intention to communicate with your highest self, spirit guides, ancestors, intuition, or any other deities or beings you had a relationship with.

Once you’re fully present, shuffle your deck and pull cards for the following questions:

1. What do I need to let go of at this time?

2. Why do I need to let go?

3. What is on the other side of this release?

4. Supportive energies to connect with to help me let go.

Take your time with each card, really letting its messages move through you. I find it incredibly helpful to either meditate with my cards or journal about each card and what the spread means to me. I always get more information and a deeper understanding this way.

When you feel complete, it could be nice to add the cards to your altar - particularly the first and third cards - to support you throughout the release. 

CANDLE MAGICK FOR LETTING GO

I love working with fire in spells and rituals, so naturally, I love candle magick! Fire is such a powerful element with its ability to transform and transmute - think of how fire turn logs into ash. It helps things change shape, die, and transform. 

For this spell, you’ll need a black candle, a tarot card or oracle card representing what you’re releasing, and a safety pin to carve your candle.

Start by grounding yourself and casting your circle. Call in any supportive deities, guides, or other beings you have a connection with to join your circle and help you.

Next, you’ll want to intentionally choose the card from your deck that most represents what you’re releasing at this time. Take your time with this and really make sure you’re clear on what you’re desiring to release.

Once you have your card, it’s time to carve your candle. Carve into your candle any words and/or symbols that represent letting go to you. For example, I like to carve the glyph for Pluto into my candles when I work with releasing spells. Pluto represents change, rebirth, and transformation. Symbols and words work best when they’re personal to you, so don’t worry as much about the technical meaning and just intuitively choose what feels right to you!

Once your candle is ready, set it up with your card under it and take a few deep breaths. Speak your intention aloud as you light your candle, saying, “As I light this candle, I release X.” You might like to spend some time gazing into the candle flame as you focus on this intention.

Then, it’s time to raise energy. You can raise energy however feels good to you - you might chant, sing, dance, do breathwork, or use any other tool that feels good to you. As your candle burns, you are raising energy in order to support this release.

When you feel the energy is at its peak, direct it with your intention towards releasing whatever it is you are releasing from your body, from your life. 

When you feel complete, ground yourself again. Let the candle burn all the way down, thank any beings who joined you to help facilitate this release, and re-open your circle. Spend some time processing in your journal afterward, writing down what came up for you and what you felt.

WATER MAGICK 101

Water is associated with the moon, the direction of the west, the Cups suit in the tarot, and the zodiac signs of Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces. Water signifies intuition, surrender, dreams, emotions, and psychic abilities. It is oceans, rivers, ponds, the moon, waterfalls, light rain, hurricanes, and tsunamis. It extinguishes fire and floods Earth. It cleanses and purifies, and connects us with the deepest parts of ourselves.

We can use the element of water in ritual, spellwork, and spiritual practice and that’s what I’ll be talking about in this blog. Keep scrolling to learn what water magick is and find different ways to practice it.

WHAT IS WATER MAGICK?

My favorite definition of magick comes from Starhawk, who said: “Magick is the ability to change energy at will.” So water magick is simply changing energy using the element of water and all that it represents, as I shared above.

We can do magick with any of the elements. There is air magick, fire magick, and Earth magick as well. But in this article, we’ll be exclusively exploring water magick.

SCRYING

Scrying is an ancient divination practice where you connect with your intuition and make the unseen seen by gazing onto a reflective surface. Some common reflective surfaces to use are the full moon or a black bowl filled with water.

You can do scrying with other substances such as fire, a crystal ball, or a mirror, but when working with water magick you want to choose something associated with water like the options I’ve shared above.

To begin your scrying practice, create a ritual space for yourself and either go outside and find a view of the moon or gather your bowl and water. As I walk you through scrying, I’ll use the example of a bowl of water. For this practice, you’ll want to be in a dark room with only one or two candles lit.

Once your space is ready, enter a trance state through meditating, energy work, drumming, chanting, breathwork, or any other practice that helps you drop into your subconscious mind.

Once you feel like you’re in an altered state of consciousness, relax your eyes and gaze into your bowl of water. Breathe deeply, let yourself soften, and ask a question silently (for example, what is holding me back in X situation? Or what do I need to know about Y?).

Gaze into the bowl and let yourself see what you see. It may take time for images to come up, but if you stay focused and present, they will. Allow the images, words, and sensations to flow, rather than holding on to them tightly.

When you feel like you’re done, you’re done! Spend some time journaling after about what you felt and saw to help you answer the questions you came to receive answers for. Remember, the subconscious mind works with symbolism, so don’t discount anything that you see even if you’re not quite sure what it means at first!

CLEANSING SPELL

This simple spell helps us use the element of water to release and is best worked during the waning and dark moon times. You’ll need:

A large glass of water

A piece of paper and pen

To start, choose what you’re focusing on releasing. Maybe is blocks to self-love, fear of being seen, a harmful way of speaking to yourself, or self-judgment.

Once you’ve decided what you’re ready to release (you’re welcome to spend some time journaling on this to get clear), start making a list of all the limiting beliefs and stories that you hold associated with this block.

For example, let’s say you’re working with clearing fear of being seen. Your list might hold beliefs like:

I’m not good enough

If people see who I really am, they won’t love me

I’m too weird

Keep letting the beliefs flow! I tend to fill up a whole page when I do this spell.

Once you have your list, it’s time to work the spell. Ground yourself, cast your circle, and pick up your list. You’re going to say the first belief out loud, starting with “I clear the belief that ________ from my body” and then taking a big sip of water. Pause and notice, feeling and visualizing the water moving through your body, cleansing this belief from your system on every level.

Repeat this for each belief on your list, taking your time and really feeling the beliefs move out of your body.

MOONGAZING

Personally, this is one of my favorite practices. It’s best done when the moon is full or around fullness. All you need is yourself, the moon, and your creativity for this practice.

In its simplest form, simply go outside, sit or stand under the moon, and gaze up at her beauty. Beam a heart full of love towards her, and feel her filling you up with her lunar energy.

You might like to take it further in a number of ways:

Drawing down the moon (opening up your arms and visualizing your crown opening to receive lunar energy

Singing to the moon

Writing poems to the moon and reading them to her

Asking her questions and sitting in meditation under her light to receive answers

There’s no right or wrong way to moon gaze. Let your intuition and creativity be your guide!

CHARGE WATER UNDER THE MOON

A powerful form of water magick is charging water under the full moon at night and then using it. In its simplest form, you simply drink the water. You can also use the water in spell workings, water your plants with it, or add it to your ritual bath (which we’ll explore below).

You are welcome to charge just a glass of water under the moon. However, you could also add a crystal to your glass that’s related to your intention for extra power. Here are some suggestions:

Rose quartz for a love infusion

Green aventurine for an abundance infusion

Amethyst for clear sight and intuition

Citrine for personal powerObsidian for protection

Carnelian for creativity

Clear quartz as an amplifier for any intention. Use alone or with another crystal!

You can work with any crystal you’d like, just remember that some crystals are water-soluble so check first to make sure it won’t dissolve in your water overnight.

SPEND TIME IN BODIES OF WATER

If you’re lucky enough to live near a body of water, going to that body of water whether it’s a lake, river, or ocean and immersing yourself in it for cleansing and purification is one of the most powerful forms of water magick there is. Turn a simple dip into magick by using your presence, breath, and intention to receive the medicine of the water.

Card featured from The Ritual Deck.

RITUAL BATH

If you can’t get to a body of water or it’s too cold to get in, a ritual bath is a beautiful way to immerse yourself in the power of water. In this blog post, I share some herbal bath recipes for specific intentions to help make your bath extra magical. But again, if all you bring to your bath is your presence, breath, and intention - that’s all the magick you need. Everything else is just an extra amplifier!

How to journal with the moon phases + 10 journal prompts

Your mood, physical body, and spirit body all go through phases, and journaling with the moon is an ideal way to track all of these. You may find that you’re more synced with the moon than you thought!

Why You Should Try Moon Journaling

Wouldn’t it be nice to know which moon phases make you feel the most intuitive, expressive, or reserved? The way you relate to each moon phase is reflective of you alone and experiences will vary from person to person. You may find that your diet, intuition, and menstruation are affected by the phases of the moon. Keeping a moon journal will enable you to track any patterns to better understand all of your cycles. 

How Often Should You Write in Your Moon Journal?

Take notes in your moon journal as often as you like! Journaling once a week will ensure that you hit each of the main phases of the moon: new moon, waxing moon, full moon, and waning moon. Moon journaling twice a month, on the full and new moon, can also be enlightening.

Starting out, I suggest making a quick note in your moon journal for 30-60 consecutive days. Making a quick note daily, in the beginning, will help you catch any obvious patterns right away.

What You’ll Need to Start Your Moon Journal

1. You’ll need a moon phase calendar, digital, or a hard copy.

2. You’ll also need a writing utensil and a journal or notepad. That’s it!

10 Topics for Moon Journaling

Here’s a list of suggested moon journaling topics. Read through the whole list. What topics call out to you the most? You can journal on all or some of these topics, it’s completely up to you.

Start your moon journaling by recording the date, the moon phase, and the zodiac sign for the phase (optional).

1. Record how you feel emotionally. Check-in, do you feel content, happy, sad, jealous, excited, energized, grateful, anxious, or angry? Record your mood for the day or overall week. This can be as simple as writing one word.

2. Record how you feel spiritually. How connected and intuitive do you feel? If you meditate regularly, was it easy for you to “drop-in” or did you find your meditation to be a struggle (this is always a good indicator of my spiritual well-being).

3. Record how you feel physically. How are you sleeping, your energy levels, and your diet? Are there any particular foods you're craving? If you exercise regularly, was your activity easy or more forced?

4. Record when you start and end your menstrual cycle. You may also decide to notate what each menstrual cycle feels like to help unearth patterns. If you’re particularly in-tune with your cycle or trying to conceive (or not conceive!) you might also find it helpful to track your ovulation with the moon.

5. Note any goals, intentions, and manifestations you’ve initiated and when they manifest. New intentions are best to set on a new or waxing moon.

6. Note any habits, people, outcomes, or things you’re trying to let go of and when you feel you’ve shed them. Releasing and letting go is best to initiate during a full or waning moon.

7. Notate the zodiac sign the moon is in. If you want to take your moon journaling to the next level you can notate what zodiac sign the moon is in. The moon is always positioned in a zodiac sign and cycles through them every 2-3 days. The sign the moon is in will also have an effect on you too. Try looking for even broader patterns by notating what sign the moon is in when you journal. I like this online resource for tracking the zodiac sign for each moon phase.

8. Track your triumphs! Did something happen that was totally out of the blue and made your day? Maybe you received an unexpected promotion, landed your dream job, or ran into an old friend, write it down!

9. Track your worst days. Did you have one of those days where nothing seems to go as expected and you just can’t shake it? These days aren’t as fun, but being able to estimate when they may come up can sure be helpful.

10. Note your dreams. Dream journaling is an insightful activity on its own. Notating the moon phase for your dreams can shed even more light on what your subconscious is trying to tell you. You might be able to identify times when your dreams are most active so you can plan to have a notepad ready on your nightstand.

Moon journaling can be as simple or in-depth as you’d like and can be tailored to suit your needs and schedule.

Unearthing Resiliency with Plant Kin ft. Lupita Tineo

Tender heart, let’s take a moment to honor the grief in the world right now. As many continue to witness and aim to end multiple genocides, how is your heart, and in what ways are you allowing your grief to arise? With the continued and unnecessary extinguishing of human and more-than-human life right now in Palestine, Sudan, Congo, and more, you might find yourself going to bed and rising with the weight of this grief heavy in your heart. I know I do and that I’m not alone in this.

In today’s episode with my guest and dear friend, Lupita Tineo of Yolia Botanica, we’ll explore how we continue to navigate the grief and blessings of being alive and reflect on how forming emotional connections with our plant family can help expand our resiliency during intense grief. 

If you feel like you’re resiliency is waning, this is normal, rest, acknowledge, but please come back. It’s as important as ever that we remain steadfast in raising our voices, especially from places of privilege, to speak out against what’s happening and not turn away.

The weight of the world is too much for one body to hold or fix and you are not intended to do it alone. There are beings, seen and unseen, human and more than human available to help us root deeper into our resiliency. 

I trust you are doing your best to be with the grief and blessings of this moment while also rising to the continued calls to speak out against what’s happening. It takes all of us so. If you’re hungry for deeper resiliency, I hope you’ll stay and listen. 

Let’s get into this bounty of wisdom. Here’s more about my dear friend, Lupita Tineo, and her shop, Yolia Botanica.

Yolia Botanica is woman-owned and operated, blending Mexican curanderismo and paganism to provide respectful alternatives that help people take care of their spiritual bodies. Our products are created for modern brujas of all levels with the foundation of respecting sacred herbs, tribes, and practices. At Yolia Botanica, we don’t currently work with white sage or palo santo. Instead, we provide appropriate options that respect the life of the plant and the sanctity of spiritual traditions, specifically of Indigenous peoples of the Americas. Everything is made by Guadalupe aka Lulu, who was born and raised in Sonora, Mexico, and is on a reclaiming and reconnecting journey to her Indigenous ancestry. 

Here’s our chat. Click below to listen. Keep scrolling to read the transcript.

Cassie: Welcome, my dear friend, Lulu, to the show. I'm so happy to have you here. Finally. 

Lupita: Thank you. Thank you, Cassie. I appreciate it. We went around for months.

Cassie: I know, we did, but we made it happen. I always like to start off by just asking you a little bit about your lineage, and that could be your ancestry, your teaching lineage, or anything that you feel like you want to speak about what's shaped who you are today and your work.

Lupita: I was born in Ciudad Obregón, Sonora, and this particular city in Sonora has the County name of Cajeme, which is really something that fills me with pride. I'm like, yes, it might not be the city's name, but it's the county's name. Cajemé was an Indigenous warrior who, in the 1900s, was part of, I guess you could say, the war that happened against the Yaqui people.

So this one has a lot of story. Cajemé County is vast, not just to Ciudad Obregón. It covers a bunch of other small towns around it. The primary tribe that resides in this area is the Mexican Yaquis. or the Yoeme. We do have the, I guess you could say, other side of the border. Yaqui, which are called the Pascua Yaqui.

Unfortunately, they are divided by a border now. And so they have different benefits, and they do have different conditions of life because of this. So Cajemé was an Indigenous warrior who, when the Spanish came. And they took over Mexico. Now we're talking about the early 1900s; the Mexican government was still fighting the indigenous people.

Okay. They still wanted to take their lands and deplete their resources. And so they were the very same Mexicans who primarily Spanish leaders led at this time, were on a hunt for the resources of the Yaqui, which is southern, central, west of Sonora, it covers a very large portion of Sonora because then we start entering the Arizona tribes and he had been contracted by one of them, a Spanish legislator to lead a Mexican army into the lands and pretty much kill them all and take their land.

Cajemé wasn't for anyone he had grown up in poverty. He did what he had to and for whom he had to do it, but he learned of this person's true goal, which was to eradicate the Yaqui tribe. They wanted to completely erase them so that there would be no trace so that there would be no one to give land back to ever.

Cajemé, being of this tribe, I guess, you know, people change, turned on this man who paid him a lot of money to lead their Mexican army, and he got together with the leaders of the Yaqui tribe and taught them what the plan was. And Cajemé had been In a lot of wars, a lot of fights, a lot of guerrilla groups.

So, he knew a lot about fighting and defending. What the Yaquis didn't have weapons, but Cajemé taught them how to make them with rocks, sticks, city, and arrowheads, all of the good stuff. To make it short, they succeeded in this battle. Unfortunately, it was not for long until a bigger army was sent that ended up slaughtering that whole village, which is where Sula Lobregón is now.

And so the County was named after Cajemé. Because of what he had done, of what he had stood for the Yaqui communities, his own community, so I, I like to think that I'm from Cajeme and not from Ciudad Obregón, because Ciudad Obregón is named after that very same legislator who slaughtered the entire region, of the Yaqui tribe, and There's a really amazing documentary on YouTube called Yaqui's, it's a Mexican man who goes on a very extensive history search for the landmarks, the stories and the evidence of a genocide against the Yaqui people, which lasted approximately 44 to 46 years.

This is one of the longest persecutions against an indigenous tribe. We're not talking about, oh, they slaughtered them for 10 years straight. And that was it. It went on for four decades, and it is very heartbreaking because we see in the documentary how the communities are now living because of this, the scraps of resources that they have to live with, how they unite and they stick together, and they're still teaching their children their native tongue, and Spanish is their second tongue.

And so it's this beautiful rendition of pain and persecution and the unity that follows into the very few. Yaqui people that remain today. So that's where a lot of my lineage comes from. Whether my mom's side, primarily Spanish, has any ties to that. I'm not sure, but my dad's side for sure has it.

I was able to find a picture from my dad's family, which is the oldest picture we were able to date, which is from around 1948. So, up until 1948, we have nothing prior. We have no records, we have no pictures, we have no idea of the names of people or where they were from. And there's a picture of this woman who would have been my father's side, my grandmother's great-grandmother.

And you look at this woman, and you say, This is an indigenous woman, but my dad's family didn't grow up that way. My dad's family grew up, I guess, not seeing themselves as indigenous. They saw themselves as

the rejection of society, the dark ones, the short ones, the ugly ones. And I know this because my dad's sister, whom I'm very, very close to, till this day, she'll call herself names, and she's this short little dark brown woman who got polio as a child.

And so she has a hump on her back, and she was she's the most amazing woman I know. And to hear her talk about herself in that sense, not acknowledging the beautiful culture and richness that she comes from rather. Forcing on herself the derogatory things that society has told her. My aunt praises white people. Okay? I'm not kidding. She adores white skin.

She adores blonde hair. And she's always dreamed of being like that. Because she says it is the most beautiful skin and hair on earth that she will never have. I was little, I could tell you like flashbacks of her just saying things, and she didn't say it in like a pity me. Way, she would just say it because she really believed it.

And so I grew up hearing about her brown skin, dark hair, and features. And so it does things to a child on my mom's side. My grandmother is very light-skinned. She has no hair anywhere. And so I remember my grandmother. Always pointing things out. Oh, look at your dark knees. Look at your dark elbows.

Look how hairy you are. Me and my sister and comparing our skin color to hers 

or her families again, not in a way of making us. I don't think she ever really meant to hurt us, right? It's usually how it happens, but that's what she did. And then here we have my aunt. Where do we lie? Where is there a positive for our existence, our identity, and our body?

There wasn't. There wasn't. There were negative sides coming from the light-skinned people side, negative things being said and pointed out for as long as we can remember because we were dark because our features were different because we had more hair, dark hair at that. And then my aunt, who looked like us, who looked more like us, saying what she had, what she looked like, was the worst of the worst.

So you build these foundations. Off of that, you internalize it, and then you live your life like that. Having internalized all of that colorist, racist, discriminatory. Language all of our lives. So that's more of who I am, where I come from, but also what it meant for me growing up, what that did not really have pride in an identity, not really having to belong to an identity because I wasn't Mexican enough.

I wasn't white enough. Wasn't indigenous enough. There was nothing that I could be enough of. But now, as I'm older, I've reclaimed a lot of things, and you know this: I've reclaimed a lot of things. I've reclaimed many things that brought me shame, starting with my name, which is Guadalupe, and Guadalupes in Mexico are called Lupitas.

And more often now, I try to introduce myself as Lupita because I know where Lulu came from, and it came from a lot of self-hatred. And embarrassment and shame because people couldn't pronounce my name and that brought me a lot of shame, having to assimilate into this country and have a name like that.

I was just the sorest thumb sticking out always and then being the fresh kid that didn't speak English and was brown and hairy. So when people say tell me about who you are, tell me about where you come from. I can't point out all the beautiful things 1st, although I'm grateful for them, although it's taken me a really long time to see and appreciate them.

Now, it didn't become pretty for a very long time, so always the harshest parts for me have to be acknowledged so that we can really understand where a lot of our neighbors come from as far as emotional and mentality. Goes we don't come from a place of acceptance and that can really hinder the way that we connect in the way that we live our lives.

And when I say I am from Sonora, I am Mexican-born and raised. That also comes with the territory of, I don't know who I am, and I'm having to define that, and I'm having to find it, having to yank it out, because it's right under me. It's right under me. 

Cassie: Thank you so much. 

Lupita: You're welcome.

Cassie: I know some of your story, but I don't know all of your story, and I did not know about the history of the Yaqui people. I'm really grateful to you for sharing that with me. I will find the YouTube video, and I'll share a link in the show notes for this episode, so if other people want to look at that, they can. (Click here to watch the Yaqui documentary Lulu references.)

Lupita: It's subtitled in English, too. He does have a book. It's called Yaqui. I don't know if that one's translated, but It's a great documentary. It really puts in perspective a lot of the communities here in Arizona.

We don't know a lot of this history, and so we don't understand. White people are the way they are. Yeah. Or why our communities are the way they are. We're sadder than ever, more disconnected than ever. There's a loss of identity that persists beyond measure. And it comes from things like that comes from persecutions of decades, of generational trauma.

And, it never needs a lot of attention. It just needs people willing to listen. You don't have to go shout it to the world, but what you do need to do is absorb it so that we can be that one little domino chip that bumped the next. And even if there is a lot of space between the next chip, we just want to inspire.

You might not touch people enough that you knock them down to keep doing the ripple effect, but you might inspire them. Because that pressure is big, that the pressure of making justice for everyone, it's big. 

Cassie: Thank you for rooting us into your truth as a starting place and bringing all of that in all of its grief and tenderness here. Because it is so important, and I'm just so honored to know you and to bear witness to your journey, and I always have been, so it's a real honor to be able to share it with others. 

Lupita: Thank you. I appreciate you.

Cassie: I appreciate you. I know; we're just having a little love-cry fest over here. Don't mind. Oh, we go back. 

Lupita: Yeah. I think that surfaces a lot when we talk. Yes. 

Cassie: I would love to hear a little bit about the land and your connection to the land. And this is a practice that, was inspired by Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza. That is to share a little bit about what the land is teaching you and speaking to you right now.

And I know that your connection to the land is deep. So, I would love to hear a little bit about it at this moment in time. 

Lupita: It's quite an amazing journey to think, oh, there's nothing in the desert. And then you go looking, and you find how much power and life and energy are actually here. The Sonoran Desert is one of the harshest environments, but it's also a very diverse environment.

We have high sierras, mountains, which absorb a lot of the rain and that feed with beautiful green luscious hills, the wildlife encourages our to bloom. If you go south into Mexico, you'll find the, which are a type of cactus that is spiny rather than the saguaros, which are one big and thick with arms. Each part of the Sonoran Desert has something really beautiful and unique about it. And depending on how high or how low the elevation is, The elevation will give you a gem. You'll find the pitayas in higher elevations, but you'll find creosote in lower elevations. And you know my obsession with creosote.

I don't know that anybody has more fascination with it more than I do. I know many people love its medicinal properties and the intoxicating smell. Of creosote when it rains and it comes into contact with water, but I don't think people, a lot of people, understand the energetic and magical representation creosote has for me. And this is where we talk about why creosote is so amazing.

I'll give you some fun facts which you already know. But creosote can go without water for up to two years. There is a creosote bush found right on the verge of the Sonoran Desert and the Mojave Desert, which crosses into a little bit of California. And this bush is named King Clone, and it's approximately 12,000 years old.

The scientists who studied this bush believed it to be one of the oldest organisms on Earth that's still standing. And you wonder, wow, how does it do that? So can survive some of the harshest environments and harshest droughts because it stores water in the root system. The root system of a creosote bush is a fighter it up roots, other smaller bushes and preserves its strength because it wants more water. And so it'll eliminate smaller bushes by pushing them up and out from the roots. It tries to take over the bigger the roots, the more water it can store. So I love to think of creosote as a symbol of perseverance.

And a symbol of strength, prosperity, because of that root system, and I always say this, what an amazing thing it would be for us to be so well established and so rooted that everything we have and need to continue through the harshest of environments is right in our roots that sustain us, that hold us.

That feeds us, and that guides us. And so the creosote bush really brings that element for me. I think if I could embody a little bit of what creosote is in my human form, I could touch a lot of people. And I try to, I'm trying to expand this root system and to strengthen my root system so that when harsh environments come again, because they will, I will know that I can continue because my roots uphold me and because my roots will make me go through this, And I just can't think of a better way to experience the desert, if not for creosote bush.

Besides its medicinal properties, creosote has taught me not to judge a book by its cover. It still has so much to offer, even in its dormant form. Indigenous people, as much as Arizona, as much as Sonora, burn the creosote branches as an insect repellent when it's in dormant stages. It's, You know, you look at it when it's cold, and you're like, that is 1 ugly plant because it goes brown, and it it almost looks like it got burned, but it isn't.

It's just dry. It's, it's sleeping. And then the 1st little sign of spring approaches, and it starts to scrap these little tiny green leaves off of those ugly. Brown, dry branches like you would think these branches are dead, but they're not and I see it every spring when it starts to sprout those little green babies, and it new leaves coming in new blooms, new arms, it regenerates itself so amazingly, and it needs nothing, and it needs no one, but it also thrives.

In a community space, because some of the creosotes will connect roots and will help each other in storing water and feeding on themselves through the drought. So I can't find a better example of life than a creosote bush.

Cassie: I love hearing you talk about creosote, and I just want to sing your praises for a moment because they're. I have creosote all over my house. You introduced me to creosote, and I developed a real love of it. I love the smell of it. I love it in the shower. I have your creosote oil. To that, I love to use. So thank you for introducing me to this plant and to all of the listeners because it's so prevalent in the Southwest, too. 

Lupita: It's an emotional attachment to, for a lot of people. If you're not from here, then Korea started. It's like this funky, musky smell.

But for people who have been here for a long time, I've lived here for 20 years, and there's a lot more creosote here than where I live. And where I was born and raised, because I'm really close to the coast, to the Gulf of California. So it's a lot more beachy, a lot more humid and Curioso doesn't like that, so we would have to drive.

Two or three hours out of where I live to find creosote. And we did this because it was medicinal. My grandmother would mash it up and with mix it with other herbs. Another herb, I'm not sure what it's called in English, but in Spanish it's called golondrina and it's literally a weed. It's this little weed that if you plant some plants in your pots and use some of the soil that is here.

You're going to get one of these little plants, and it's tiny, grows out of the dirt, spreads out, and has tiny little circular leaves. So my grandma would grab Golondrina creosote and mash it until it got nice and juicy and sticky, because creosote exudes like a wax from the leaves.

And when we were little, again, I was born and raised in Mexico. There was no chickenpox vaccine for us. So we got chickenpox. And I remember my back being covered in little blisters, and the itchiness was insane. And I just remember my grandmother couldn't handle the whining. And she just rubbed that piece all over our backs.

I think my sister got chicken pox first, and then about a week ish, I got it. And so we have to take two trips to find the creosote. And when we found it, my dad was with us, and my dad told my grandmother. Who is my maternal grandmother? Her name is Sylvia. And my dad said, Sylvia, you can't take from the bushes that are dormant.

You have to take from the green trees. And my grandma said, why? My dad said I don't know. That's just what I've been told. And I carried that with me for a really long time, and I didn't realize I had. That question lingered until a few years ago when I started to work with my career. So this was around 2018.

You don't take from a dormant tree just like you wouldn't take from an ill person. You take from the bush, the branch that's healthier because that means it's strong enough to regenerate and it's strong enough to recuperate from whatever you're taking. And my dad said, do you have a coin because we have to leave something?

And she was like, no, I don't have anything. My grandpa drove us. My grandpa was a smoker. Is a smoker, and my dad's, oh, let's go ask Ernesto if he can give us a cigarette, and my grandma said for what he said, you have to give something, and the conversation seemed like you should know this already.

But my dad grew up in a very small town, four hours, four and a half hours north of where I was. And so we found a lot more creosote there. Because it's closer to the lower elevation, more dry desert, he had a lot more interactions and experience with creosote than my grandmother did.

And that's what he had been told. That's what his mother told him. And so he was just doing it, but my grandmother didn't know. And through time, I learned, about respecting the bush, respecting the shrub. And when I talked to my dad about it, I asked him, Papi, do you remember when we got chicken pox?

And he was like, how could I forget? And I said, do you remember that you were looking for something to give to the bush? And he's, yeah, I remember. So your grandpa ended up putting up a fight for the cigarette, but he's he gave it to me. And I was like, yeah, I was like, do you know why you did that?

He said, it's I didn't want to argue with your grandmother, but You're supposed to give something to the bush. And I was like, okay, do you know why you're supposed to give something? He was like, I don't know. It's it's like a thank you, I think. And I realized my dad has always been really intuitive about those things but also really doubtful.

Like he knew, but didn't know. And I think a lot of us have that, just, but we don't trust it enough. And I shared with him, I said, I've been reading a lot about Creosote, Sonoran Desert, and, I, I'm working with a lot of energy and things like that, so it's an exchange, Dad, it's an exchange.

You're giving something because you're taking something. He's, oh, he's okay. Going to the store, and I was like, sure, he's you give them money, and you get something. And I was like, yeah, sure. That's fine. That's as far as we're going to get.

It's one of those cute little moments of enlightenment of how early the medicine started, how early the practice has started. And we Mexicans do things without knowing why. Or knowing where because that's been lost. The oral sharing, the oral tradition, and then if we do have a little bit of it, it was taboo, don't talk about it, because people are going to think you're a witch.

And we can't call it that. We can't call it brujería. We call it holistic or natural. We can't call it anything. And if you say curandera, you're right there with the witches. 

Cassie: the plight of the witches. It's so prevalent across so many cultures. 

Lupita: So it's a conundrum. Yeah. How do we praise what has always been persecuted and shamed? And we live in that constantly. I find Creosote to be non-binary. I grew up with it being called a feminine name, and when we moved here, it was called a masculine name. And I found that very interesting, and I thought, huh, in Spanish, Spanish has male and female.

So in Spanish, creosote was named the governess or the little stinker 'cause it's very potent. Both of went, which end in a, which is female, RA. So when we moved here and I found people called it. Or creosote or greasewood. I said, those are all male. And then it was just that, that it didn't have to be either or, that it could be both, that it can be a healer and also a conduit of strength.

Cassie: I love that and just, I'm looking at a bundle that I have from you now, and I feel that same energy of it is both. 

Lupita: Yeah. It is. It really is. The way it comes to. Share the healing benefits. It wants to embrace and connect through its healing benefits, but also in the way that it stands up to show its strength and its dominance and its masculine energy of protection and perseverance.

It just pushes through. So, I love the duality. I love the coexistence of the energies because it doesn't have to be one or the other. It can coexist. It can be both. And I think that acknowledges its existence very well. Mhm. For how we see it in different cultures. Because, like how I just mentioned, I grew up with it being feminine, and I've learned to see it as that when I need to, when I'm in my Spanish self, it's feminine.

And when I'm in my English self, it's masculine. Yeah, it meets you where you're at. It really does. Yeah. 

Cassie: I love the story about your, dad coaching your grandma into like how to work with the plants and leave an offering that is such a. Beautiful story 

Lupita: and with a cigarette.

Cassie: Yeah. And I love that you could circle back and connect with him about that, like how healing. I imagine that might have been for both of you. 

Lupita: He said things made a lot of sense. he doesn't remember who taught or told him. He said it was just what everyone did, that you must leave something.

And he was like, when I was a little boy, I had to get some. And all I had on me was a piece of gum, and I left a piece of gum. And I was like, we go back to intention is everything. It really is. Now, having good intentions doesn't excuse ignorance, right? But it helps us get there. It helps us get to a better place of understanding and education for sure because having good intentions is like a foundation of embarking on the right path towards this kind of learning and this kind of living.

But my dad's intentions were right. The education just wasn't. Knowledge wasn't. They never really learned those things. I'm sure somewhere down the line, there was an older woman telling people why, but she was probably labeled as a witch, and then people saw that, and so they stopped sharing that information because they didn't want to be labeled like that woman, so we stopped sharing.

Cassie: Yeah, but the practices persevered.

Lupita: Yes, they do.

Cassie: We have a little bit of time left, and it's funny, I wanted to talk to you about grief and working with plants, and though we haven't named that, it's woven throughout the entire conversation, which I'm not surprised about, but I would love if there is anything that's coming to mind about how you've worked with plants.

Your personal grief, or how you know, because, as I mentioned in the intro, you have a store where you're able to tend to your community and offer your plant medicine, like, how does grief arise? How is grief tended? And how does working? Alongside these different plants, you work with, help support and facilitate that.

Lupita: There is an emotional attachment that guides a lot of what I use. And I've honed in on this emotional attachment to things because I have to understand what it means to me first. And this is something that I talk to people a lot about. Why am I going to use something? That has no connection to me.

Why will I implement something into my life that invokes no feeling? No memory. No sensation whatsoever. There are a lot of beautiful native plants. In Sonora, one of them is creosote, which we grew up with, but most are from all over the world. Chamomile is German or Egyptian, cinnamon, Indonesia, and these herbs have an emotional connection to me because this is what I remember my Abuelita making in the kitchen as a child.

This is what I remember. My aunt's making for me when I had a tummy ache. And so I know there is a lot of herbs that have energetic and physical tending to the heart.

But I think also being at peace with what you're consuming and using because of the emotional peace it brings does a lot of things, too. And if that's cinnamon, then so be it. If that's basil for you, basil your way through, girl. They're natural. They're going to either unbloat you, or help with the nervousness, or help relax the shit out of you, or help you go poop.

There are some amazing benefits. But what does it do to you emotionally? What feelings does it invoke when you smell it, when you touch it, when you drink it, when you cook it, when you burn it? Our emotions can really derail us, but our emotions can also ground us, and our emotions can guide us. I think for the last few years, I really embraced more of What herbs emotionally do for me, whether they are attributed to that or not.

I think chamomile is a staple for a lot of Mexican families, and chamomile has just been that homie for me that whether I'm sad, stressed, or tired, I'm going to have a cup of chamomile. I don't know if there is any specific herb that I would recommend, per se, that is, oh, that one is very connected to the heart, that one is all about emotional healing; I think that emotional healing starts with the feelings provoked by what you're using. In the 1st place, and so when we get that, we can create different connections with what we're using. And that's another really important aspect of using tools and medicine in the 1st place is laying the foundations, the correct foundations.

In the first place, connecting with the things that invoke positive and serene feelings, emotional feelings, so that you can find a sense of self and a sense of peace, knowing that you're using something that connects you back to yourself, to your inner child, to your culture, to your family. And we are reinforcing those routes, and we are working on establishing those routes from the ground up rather than working from here down. Reinforcing from the ground up is super important.

I think we need to go back to the very simple basics of, let me use something that invokes emotional connection.

Cassie: You are such a deep well of wisdom, my friend. Also just want to say that I think you should make a shirt that says “Basil your way through girl”,  because I just think it needs to exist. 

Lupita: Yeah, I use basil for a lot of things. And my personal limpias. Or the one-on-one sessions that I do, I have a bunch of basil outside, and two or three of the plants that I have are a different kind of variation of basil.

I think it's, I think it's Thai basil. I'm going to collect Thai basil. Basil is like a weed in Mexico, especially in the Sonoran parts. Basil likes the sun, but it also likes a little bit of humidity. And so Sonora, further down, is a little humid, and so this shit grows everywhere. All the little houses have basil in a pot somewhere, and it drops the seeds.

Flowers when it dries. And so then they have more basil growing on the ground and you'll find random patches of basil just going everywhere. So I took some of the seeds from my aunt's house, and I put them in the ground, and some of them took off. And they're there, and then I have another popular common cuisine, basil with the big fat leaves.

And then I have another one that's all green with white flowers. And then I have a purple basil, which is beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's I think they call it ruby red. really beautiful basil. The caterpillar worms devoured it. So we're waiting for it to come back and regenerate.

But yeah, basil your way through because basil is anti-inflammatory. And it smells amazing. Cut it and rub the leaves. And just Immerse yourself in the beautiful healing smell like that. It's amazing. Have you ever smelled basil in an essential oil form? 

Cassie: I don't know if I have. 

Lupita: It's interesting. Yeah. Very interesting.

Cassie: It's just incredible to me the different varieties of basil and how they're all so different. And this goes for so many plants. I have holy basil or Tulsi basil in my garden. I have Tulsi, too. I love it. And I, it's just exactly what you described. I make tea with it sometimes. I've made tinctures with it before, but my favorite thing is in the summer to just rub my hands on it.

And it's just the most amazing smell. 

Lupita: And it's sweet. Tulsi is sweet. 

Cassie: Oh, it's like perfume. 

Lupita: Yes, it has this perfumey floral smell with the tanginess, of a basil. 

Cassie: I love what you said, too, because I think, Especially when thinking about grief, it's so important to remember that grief shows up in people's bodies in so many different ways. And so when you honor the plants that you feel called to work with, the ones that you have that emotional connection with, you're honoring how grief is showing up in your body.

Which is different for every grief, for every person; it's just that there's so much variety, and that's the beauty of working with plants is that the plants want to support us. And it's all about what you said, like feeling that emotional connection to them.

Lupita: Yes, if we think of plants as spirits. Then, it facilitates how we want to connect with them.

You don't want to connect with the spirit without having that foundation laid. You I mean, I wouldn't, I would want for there to be a deep connection that honors both of us, even if it is out of a memory, even if it is out of a childhood event, that really induces that. It's like this, threading, inner weaving, where everything just starts to make sense, the feeling, the smell, the memory, and the act of consumption, whether it's energetic or drinking it or eating it, or smelling it, it stimulates your senses.

And now you're in your physical self, as much as you are in your emotional body and your spiritual being. And so there's all of this interconnectedness that's weaved through, allowing for that emotional connection, with a plant. I really don't think you can go wrong with basil. We go back to basil just being amazing.

Rosemary. 

Cassie: Oh, I love rosemary. 

Lupita: For us, it's also Rue's amazing. And, I grew up with Rue being used to cure my ear infections. We never really used antibiotics. We would look through in some olive oil or whatever oil we have and then we put it in our ears and then we'd cover it with cotton balls, until this day, my kids haven't had an ear infection and whenever they join, whenever join us started to.

Show any signs of infection. I have this concoction of oils with ruin and extracts and things, and he'll ask me for it and say, my ear hurts. Can you give me some of that stuff? And I'm like, sure, and this is what I'm doing with him and with both of them is establishing those emotional connections so that when he's older, he can look back.

And remember and have that one or those few staple memories that smelled like something, looked like something, felt like something. I want him to remember that so that he always has something to go back to that makes him feel connected.

Cassie: What a gift. What a legacy. What can you think about? Yeah, to leave that for your children. I think about that a lot with my kids, too, and the potency and the power of showing them how important those relationships can be with our plant family.

Lupita: And respect. I think there's no need for children to be malicious with our environment.

It's one thing to be curious and to learn, which every child has to go through. But I taught both of my boys very early on to respect plants and respect nature. 

Cassie: Can you imagine how lush and abundant and beautiful the earth would be if children were raised, with this reciprocity in mind? 

Lupita: We're not taught that though.

It's taught to take and take abusively and aggressively.

And, I've been speaking on issues with white sage for years, and that's what's happened, and it's happening to follow Santo to where we are taking. Abusively and aggressively, and there's no reciprocity. There's no respect. There's no foundation, and there's no emotional connection. Yeah. So we're taking it because our mind wants to have it, and so there's that disconnect, and the intention is already wrong. The foundation is already wrong. And this is why I said earlier that having the right intention doesn't excuse ignorance. Because maybe you didn't know, like a lot of us, but if you know better, you do better.

 People still choose to look the other way. Yeah, for a lot of things. Yeah. I still choose to look away from the massacre on White Sage, but White Sage is also representative of a lot of other things.

Yeah, a lot of groups of people, a lot of issues in this world. White Sage represents a lot of oppressed communities and we are watching it unfold. In many ways across the globe, that has brought forward its own set of grief, its own set of collective grief, where we don't know how to channel and we don't know where to put it. Personally, I don't know where to put it. I don't know what to do with it, but I allow myself to acknowledge that because not acknowledging it is my privilege. And so if I know something is going on with White Sage, and I find out there's communities being harmed because they're taking their White Sage away because they're killing their White Sage, then they're going to speak up, because if my voice is all I have, then so be it. Yeah. I refuse to be silent. I refuse to be the person who, when this is established as history, refuses to be that part of that percentage that was not part of the collective healing.

Cassie: I think a lot of people, myself included, are learning the value of our voice and the importance of our voice.

Lupita: it represents a lot of things. A lot of wars, a lot of genocides. There is a lot of injustice and a lot of abuse. White sage represents our Indigenous people. It represents our Palestinian people. It represents our people in Congo. It represents people in South Korea and North Korea.

It represents our Mexican people. It represents our Latin Americans. It represents all of it. Yeah. It's more like a symbol, right? But we've seen the efforts of people sharing about White Sage. And the progress that has made. But it didn't happen quick. And that is the thing with time. I think time for me brings a lot of grief sometimes.

Cassie: Yeah. as a collective, too, we're learning so much about how to grieve together. And I think time is a part of that. how do we process and grieve the bigness of the pain of the horrors that are happening in our world? And I think that we're walking. Through it right now. At least the people who are willing to bear witness are learning in real-time. How do we walk through this? How do we assimilate and process what is happening so that we can remain in it? 

Lupita: And I'm smiling because creosote. 

Cassie: Bringing it back to the creosote. 

Lupita: Creosote can be. Both things. Yeah. because it fucking can, it's that simple. It can be grieving and can be in its emotional self, and its feminine self, and it can coexist and push through and persevere. And it's masculine energy, and so I think we are asking, how do we navigate the grief and the blessing of being alive,

Nature is perfect. And will always be perfect examples to life. We find our life in nature, we find meaning, we find reasons, we find purpose, and, that's the most beautiful story to tell. 

Cassie: It is. And I'm looking forward to spending some time. Some of the creosote that I have from you And I will certainly put all the links for your wonderful creations in the show notes. So if anybody listening wants to connect with Creosote. That they can't or connect with Lulu that you can, but I'm just so glad that we found time to do this.

You just brought so much. So I'm just so happy to share your wisdom. Thank you. This was so wonderful. Thank you so much, Lulu, for your time, for your energy, for your wisdom. 

Lupita: Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. It was amazing.

Magical Allies for Grief with Ashley Leavy

Welcome beloveds. Today, I’m bringing you a conversation with my dear friend, Ashley Leavy, that feels like a needed love offering at this tender time. In this episode, we talk about magical allies for grief, primarily crystals and stones, but plants and trees also weave into the conversation. We discuss a few crystals that can be wonderful allies in working with grief, navigating ethics while working with crystals, and leaning on your intuition when deciding how to connect with different energies for support while grieving. 

I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it and perhaps find some invitations to tend to your grief at this time. Ashley and I have been friends for several years now. I have so much love and respect for her as a person, healer, and teacher, and I am honored to share some of her wisdom with you. 

Ashley Leavy is one of the world’s top crystal healing experts and educators, and author of Crystals for Energy Healing and Cosmic Crystals. Ashley’s passion for crystal healing drives her role as Founder & Educational Director of the Love & Light School of Crystal Therapy. Ashley has created dozens of award-winning, online courses that are fun, educational, and life-transforming, the Love & Light School has quickly grown into a thriving international community.

Here’s our chat. Click below to listen. Keep scrolling to read the transcript.

The following is an unedited transcript. Grammar and spelling errors may be present.

Cassie: Welcome, Ashley.

I'm so glad you're here. Longtime friend of mine, so what a treat to have you on here.

Ashley: It's so nice to get to talk like this. 

Cassie: Yes, it is. We've been talking behind the scenes for many years, and so it does feel special to, be talking here in a more public space together, 

Ashley: yeah.

Cassie: I would love for you to share, a little bit about your lineage, and that can be either your ancestral lineage, or your teaching lineage, or both, but just a little bit about, what's shaped your work and brought you here to this space in your journey. 

Ashley: I think it's a little bit of a combination of things. In terms of my ancestral lineage, what I do is crystal healing. That's mainly the thing that I'm focused on in my work. And that stems back to a lot of summer afternoons spent at my grandma and grandpa's house. My grandfather was a scientist. He was a chemical engineer by trade.

That's what he did, but he was really interested in all things having to do with the natural world. So he was very interested in crystals and minerals. He was also interested in rainfall. And to the point where This man, he was so cute. He would go walk down by the pond near his house every single day and count the number of geese while they were migrating so he could track the goose migration year over year, make little charts and data plots of how many geese, and I just love that kind of thing about him.

So he always approached things from a very sort of scientific mindset. I tend to approach things more from a spirituality mindset. But it was him who I think really instilled that love of nature and the land with me from a really young age. And so we would sit in his office for hours sometimes and he'd show me the different mineral specimens he had in his collection and tell me where they came from and what they were used for and what they were made of and how they got their color and all these things that just seemed so fascinating to me as a kid and really got me started on this path.

So it became a personal practice for many years to work with my crystals. And the first book that I came across that was really about the energy of crystals was by the author Melody. It was the Love is in the Earth book. A kaleidoscope of crystals, and I found out that someone that Melody had trained, was going to be teaching her methodology of crystal healing, where I lived here in Madison, Wisconsin, and I was so excited.

I had to go. I didn't think I wanted to do crystal healing for my work. It was totally just personal practice at that point. This was back in like 2007 and taking that workshop totally. Changed my whole life. I saw firsthand from the experiences that I had from the experiences of other people in that class setting, just how powerful crystals could be when we worked in relationship with them.

And that kind of got me started on a journey to learn. More and more so, although that was where I started in terms of my lineage, I ended up going on to study with Melody quite a few times. I found so many supportive teachers along the way, like Dale Walker and Judy Hall and lots of others that I feel Really lucky to have been able to take classes with some in person, some online.

but all of that has really shaped my personal work because I think a lot of times our teachers can give us. A great starting point for, how to work with our tools. And it's up to us to hone that practice and find something that works for us. 

Cassie: Beautiful. I love hearing all those different pieces of your story and how they weave together and how it started with your grandfather's love of connecting with the land.

That's so beautiful. And just Hearing the richness of your lineage of how you got to where you are, I think it's so important to honor these places where we've come from, so I appreciate hearing a little bit more about your path and your journey. 

Ashley: Yeah, it's so interesting because although Crystal Healing has this really deep, rich history, It really had like a modern day resurgence in the 1980s, 90s, and so a lot of how we think about practicing with crystals today is really informed by that and was shaped by that, but I think with that also created this.

Unspoken set of rigid rules and structure about how something should be. And so I'm sort of unlearning all of that and reclaiming a little bit of the experimentation and play and connection with my stones. 

Cassie: Hmm. Also so needed. Yes, that experimentation in play. And I already know you know this, but just to say it out loud for this episode that I definitely resonate with all of the unlearning that goes along with, really creating a magical practice of your own or a spiritual practice of your own.

And it's. Really empowering too. And it's it doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be our lineage and our ancestry along with, our own personal discoveries and our practices. Okay, we could go on talking about that forever, but 

So before we jump into talking about grief and crystals, I would love to hear a little bit just about the land that you're currently residing on, whose land it is, and maybe any wisdom that the season's sharing with you.

And this is a practice that I learned from Dr. Rocio Rosales Mesa. So I just want to credit her, and bringing this question here to us. 

Ashley: I love this question so much. I live in present day Madison, Wisconsin, known as Dayjope, which is forcefully ceded Ho Chunk land. and I think in terms of something that I'm learning from the season right now, It's a lot of letting go, a lot of recognizing the deep wisdom and the cycles that the land has to offer us, recognizing that, as well as the abundant times, the plentiful times, the very joyous times, there's Always still space within that joy for grief and vice versa when we're deep in our grief when we're deep in the leaner times when we're deep in the stillness, we can also find moments of joy.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, the land and the season sort of hold space for us to be full and complete and just feel the way that we're feeling. 

Cassie: Thank you for sharing those lessons. 

Here, where I am on Miami land, in so called Indiana, it is very humid and hot today and the land is continuing to give me these beautiful lessons of how much the earth loves us because the earth continues to provide for us even amidst all of the change, the rapid change that we're experiencing in our climate and in the land.

Ashley: Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you.

Cassie: Before we start discussing, getting into different crystals that one might want to work with when they're walking a grief journey. I'd love to just hear a little bit from you, your personal practice of ways to work with crystals ethically and ways that are rooted in reciprocity and relationship.

Cause I just feel like that's a really. Great foundation to start any conversation when we're talking about crystals and stones because it can be really hard to work with crystals and stones ethically. And I also want to say that this is a huge topic, not something that we can fully Piece apart and expand upon in this episode, but, I have a feeling that you might have other resources, and that I can link those in the show notes because this is such a broad topic.

Ashley: yeah, I'm really glad that you asked this question. It comes up a lot when we're looking at working with crystals, right? With anything that we work with in our lives, there is a cost. There is a trade off and crystals are no different from that. They come from the land. They are the land themselves.

so when we are sourcing our crystals when we're purchasing our crystals, it's helpful to know whether or not those crystals have been sourced as ethically as possible. And this is a phrase that I've started using after lots of conversations with my dear friend, Nicholas Pearson, who's an amazing crystal author.

because there, there may not actually really be any truly ethically sourced crystals. And so we need to look at several different factors when we're choosing them. First and foremost, were the people who were mining those crystals in safe working conditions. That's something we want to consider.

Were the people who were mining those crystals paid fairly for their labor? That's a really big consideration. because we don't want physical extraction of the minerals and also extraction of someone's labor and safety. Third, was any child labor used in the mining of those crystals? Because this happens way more than it should.

So much more than most people know, especially from certain locations, we see this. Predominantly, in specific countries in Africa, but not it doesn't mean every crystal that comes from there. It uses child labor. It just means it's more common there. And then fourth, what's the environmental impact of those stones being mined?

A lot of people think, how can we do healing work with crystals when we've taken them from the earth? We ripped them from the earth. This isn't sustainable. This isn't, an ethical practice, environmentally detrimental, but. Yeah. The truth is most crystals that are on the market, so to speak, are secondary to whatever the intended purpose of that mine was, which is usually some sort of ore or something that we need for, electronics industry, things like that.

For the most part. This isn't always true, but for the most part, the crystals are not the primary thing that is being sought out. So I think it's really important to recognize that, and a lot of people will say things like, I don't want to work with crystals because they're not ethical. you and I are sitting here chatting, on the internet, on our computers right now.

We all have cell phones or iPads or whatever we have. The minerals and the mining practices that go into creating those things are so much more detrimental than The crystals that we work with for healing for again, for the most part speaking pretty broadly. So I think when we are choosing our crystals, we need to be really, mindful and ask good questions.

Those four questions. Are they, are the workers safe? Are the workers paid fairly? No child labor used. And what's the environmental impact? I also think that because in this industry, people know that. Ethical sourcing is important to a lot of consumers. People are throwing around terms like ethically sourced or consciously sourced without really.

Answering those four questions. consciously sourced, especially it's like a red flag term for me, because what does that really mean? and some places are better than others. Some sources will really discuss their practices for sourcing, how they vet their suppliers, all that stuff. That's great.

But as a consumer asks those questions, don't just ask, is this an ethically sourced crystal? Because a lot of times the answer you'll get is just yes. in what ways is it ethically sourced? so this is really important to ask. And in a conversation that Nicholas Pearson and I had on my podcast in the past, he said, probably the most ethically sourced crystal you could get is the one that you walk out into your backyard and pick up off the ground.

You're not, in the process, destroying any of the plant life or animals. You're not. Contributing to soil erosion, anything like that, you know where it came from, you know how it was sourced, you know everything about it. when we're sourcing crystals, as ethically as possible. this is really important.

And that goes for the mining practice as well as the manufacturing practice. If it was cut, polished, wherever, what's happening with those workers? What's happening with the labor there, the safety conditions, the pay, the environmental impact of that, thinking about where they come from and how far they're shipped, right?

So there's a huge benefit to working with crystals from our local landscape, just as there is from eating locally. 

Cassie: Absolutely. I love what you said about sourcing crystals that are as ethical as possible. I feel like that's a really important distinction. And it's honestly one of the reasons why I stopped selling crystals because I grappled with it so much. Because it is so hard and even asking sometimes it's hard to get straight answers from people. And 

I found that My crystal collection is smaller, but the crystals that I do have or find, because I am a big proponent of letting them find me out in nature, that the relationships that I have with them are so much deeper and more meaningful, even though my collection is a little bit smaller. So there can really be, even though we might not have the biggest, sparkliest collection of crystals, it can still be really, healing and powerful and meaningful. 

Ashley: Absolutely. Some of my favorite stones are ones that I found when I was on, like a road trip with my mom or something like that, where the stone just comes to you.

And it's just like working with plants in that regard, asking permission before you take a stone, both of the stone itself of the land of the landscape. And of course. for legal reasons of the land owners, unfortunately, but that's something that we also need to consider. You can't just go to a state park and pick up a rock.

Cassie: Absolutely. thank you for putting all of that. I know that was a lot of research that you compiled into a really short snippet, because like I said, working with crystals as ethically as possible is such a huge topic. So thank you for bringing all that in into such bite sized pieces for us.

Those are very actionable things that I think a lot of people will appreciate being able to take away. 

Ashley: You're welcome. And I think the most important thing I want to leave people with on that is do your research, ask the questions when you're purchasing those crystals, and just have some awareness, think things through where things are coming from, and don't just take that ethical, ethically sourced label at face value.

Cassie: Absolutely. I agree. 

 Let's talk a little bit about, stones and crystals that Are supportive for grief work. and of course, grief work can run the gamut. grief shows up in our lives in all different ways, not in just the loss of a loved one. but I think, I know for me, I've definitely worked with crystals throughout my various grief journeys. And so I'd love to hear a little bit about your experience and any that you suggest or recommend folks work with. 

Ashley: Yeah, so there are definitely always a few that come to mind for me. One of the ones that I love is Spirit Quartz. Spirit Quartz is a beautiful variety of amethyst, often with some golden iron staining.

And it typically forms in small points or clusters where The main crystals are entirely covered on all their sides by little baby crystals. And then the large crystal termination of the main crystal pokes out of the top. and it's, I think one of the best all around stones for grief. if you've been experiencing grief of any type truly, and.

You can't quite put your finger on how it's affecting you, you just, are feeling it, maybe you can't even identify where it's coming from. Sometimes this is a really supportive stone for helping you work through that, explore some of those feelings, understand, More about the sources opening up your awareness that way, but it's also really good for helping you overcome some of the obstacles that present themselves when we're grieving, right?

Because, I think for all of us, we encounter different obstacles and that's not necessarily a bad thing, right? It's just Sometimes part of the process. And with this spirit courts, they have this really soft, gentle energy that just helps you feel really supported. and it meets you where you're at, no matter where that is.

And that's something that I really love about this stone. another stone that I love is pink opal. Pink opal has a really nurturing, supportive energy as well. And if I think of a crystal that's You know, when I work with it, it feels like it just giving me a hug and really calming down my body, helping me feel more at ease, more present.

Pink Opal is really good at doing that. I... Struggle with anxiety personally, and this is a stone that I've also found to be supportive in that journey for me, just holding it in my hands, breathing through things, allowing me to calm my mind, calm my nervous system a little bit, and I think A lot of times when we're grieving and having that sort of physical response, just a tactile, physical reminder to be present with whatever we're feeling emotionally, whatever we're feeling in our body, let it sort of roll through us, is really helpful, and for me, Pink Opal has been a great support that way.

I also really like lithium quartz, particularly when our grief is pushing us into states of anger. Which comes up. I think, it's not uncommon for us when we are grieving. Sometimes we let our emotions take over, right? And if you are just in one of those places of rage and you are feeling ready to erupt, I'm not in any way saying don't do that because sometimes that is so healing.

 Like that can be so healing. But, to help you just, Take that breath and calm back down after that sort of comes out how it needs to come out. Lithium quartz is really beautiful, and I think the last crystal that I would love to share is one that I had a big personal journey with when I lost my grandmother and that was rose quartz.

My whole years and years journey of working with crystals, I was never drawn to rose quartz. I thought it was kind of boring. I didn't understand why people liked it. It was run of the mill, like, okay, it's there, I get it, but I just didn't really feel it. But after I lost my grandma in 2018, she passed away, from complications with dementia.

I was really struggling, and I was struggling in so many ways, there's that initial sadness of losing a loved one. but more than that, I think the thing that I... Really felt in the weeks and months after her passing was this deep sense of loneliness. she and I spoke on the phone almost every single day and she was a huge part of my life.

Our relationship was so meaningful to me and suddenly there was just this whole, I never quite realized how listening to her tell me about what she. Made for her and my grandpa for lunch that day, and what prescriptions she went to fill, and, what was blooming in her backyard. I never realized that would leave quite such a big hole in my life when I couldn't just hear her tell me about her day.

Oh my gosh, sorry, I'm getting emotional. 

Cassie: Your emotions are welcome here. 

Ashley: Thank you. She was such a special part of my life and suddenly having that void was really challenging and I missed her so much more even than I thought I would. And all of a sudden, I was really drawn in by Rose Quartz. Anything that was Rose Quartz was just calling to me.

So I had a few pieces in my little crystal tool kit, and they just... Were speaking to me like, we are here for you. So I slept with those in my pillowcase and on my bedside table. I carried them around in my pocket or tucked into my bra. I just had them around me all the time. And I felt comforted.

I felt A tiny bit less lonely, of course, I still miss my grandma. I still do. I miss those conversations. I miss that time. But Rose Quartz was there for me in a way that I didn't really expect and I still can't even quite put my finger on what it was about that stone that was so powerful during that time and so healing, but I just felt held.

I just felt so held and so seen in my grief. And, it's a stone that after, maybe six months, eight months, I noticed I was less and less drawn to, and that was also okay. At first, I was a little nervous. I didn't understand why there was a change. I thought maybe I just, I, there was something with me.

I wasn't able to connect with it in the same way, and I started to realize, no, it was there for me when I really needed it, when I was in that really rough, raw place, and it got me through. And when I started healing and Figuring out how to be a little less lonely, it just wasn't needed in the same way.

And so I learned to let go of the stone and it was like a lesson in grieving all over again that, sometimes we transcend things in our lives too. But I knew that it would always sort of be there for me if I needed it. And unfortunately, last week, we lost one of our chickens, my dear Fanny.

And I turned to my rose quartz again for support because I was feeling, that loneliness of not seeing her out in the backyard with the other hens and just feeling very sad. And so even though it's been You know, five years now since I've last worked with my rose quartz really deeply, I knew that it would be there for me and it was.

Cassie: Thank you for sharing that tender story about your grandma. And I think it so beautifully illustrates how, when working with stones and crystals, this relational aspect of it, and how, if we're open and listening to, the tools that we connect with most, I don't even like to use, there's a better word than tools, but the beings that we connect with the most, that, We open ourselves up to ways of being supported and being held and for you that was that rose quartz and I think for a lot of other people it could be too but what I love about your story is it illustrates how one might find a crystal that maybe isn't listed in a book as a stone that's intended for grief and grief support but how to open yourself up to What beings, what energies are around you that want to support you through any specific grief journey that you're going through?

Because I think it does vary so much for each of us, and I love those suggestions that you offer too, especially Pink Opal. I've worked with Pink Opal before, and as you were describing it, I was just thinking, I need to... I need to get out my pink opal and just spend some time with it because it, I could sense that warm hug feeling.

 I really appreciate all of those offerings and your tender story about rose quartz. 

Ashley: Yeah, I think that exactly what you're saying is so important, Cassie, like feeling empowered to seek out those relationships for yourself is hugely important in this work. Like it doesn't have to come from a list on the internet.

It doesn't have to come from a book. It doesn't have to come from one of the suggestions I just made, but just really opening yourself up to. Yeah. Being aware of what sort of calling to you. One way I really like to do this when I'm feeling some kind of way, and I just need a little support, no matter what it is.

Maybe it's to work with a plant or flower and herb. Maybe it's to work with a crystal. I just find myself still in the present moment and see what sort of Comes to mind, right? I'll usually close my eyes, take a few deep breaths. I'm a fairly visual person. So for me, often something will come in my mind's eye.

Maybe it's a color. Maybe it's a shape. And I'll relate that with something that's around me. And so I'll seek out that plant or that stone or whatever it is. And then I'll pick a few options that sort of remind me of that energy as well, because sometimes if My intuition is not telling me this exact thing that I thought it was, but it's something that's like that.

So I'll put a few different options out, and then I'll usually place those on my altar. I'll make myself really comfortable. Again, close my eyes to get present in the moment. And when I open my eyes, I just see what captures my attention the most. What seems like it has that. Little bit of extra twinkle that little bit extra something that's really speaking to me.

And that's usually the thing that I'll go to. Sometimes it's two things, right? But that'll be the thing that I go to and I work with and, maybe that'll be keeping that on my altar in my ancestor corner. Maybe that will be carrying it with me. Maybe that'll be, wearing that as a piece of jewelry or something, but just having that energy.

Around me to support me when I need it is what's most important. And, finding the method of connecting with those things that works for you. In addition to Seeking out the specific energy like all of that is part of that process of working with these energies. 

Cassie: Absolutely. And I love you answered my next question already. I'm just going to add a little bit to it because I was going to ask you, how are some of the ways that we can work with crystals, when we're working through different phases and specifically grief. and you really spoke to that and I love how you spoke to it in a way that is again, I'm opening myself up to these different energies and allowing So them to guide me, which is something I've been doing a lot in my practice and we work, I know that you and I work in very similar ways.

 So what you described is very similar to how I work and something I've been doing lately specifically with plants, but it would work just as well with crystals is just letting them come to me. So I just, when I'm out for walks, I'm just very aware of what plants get my attention. and just open myself up to what, how would you like me to work with you instead of the reverse of, you know, so much of my spiritual practice has been me going to quartz and saying quartz. I need you for this. And I've done this role reversal of no, I've spent a lot of years asking and taking and now I want to open myself up and listen to what you have to say. And I think there's a lot of opportunity in that with crystals too, and especially with grief because I think As a society, we have such an aversion to talking about death and dying and grief as a part of that.

A lot of us don't really know how to tend to our grief. We're not taught how to tend to our grief. And I think crystals and plants, too, have a unique ability to hold us in our grief because they are more enmeshed in the natural cycles of the earth in ways that we've really, a lot of us have extracted ourselves from, which sort of leads me into my next question, which is something that I've noticed when I've worked with crystals and stones is I'm often reminded Of time and the perception of time and how trees and plants and especially crystals and stones have a very different perception of time and that translates into their perception of grief and loss too. And it's been very comforting for me to feel this energy from crystals of being like. Yes, there is grief here, but there are long periods of grief and we are still here. We are present. and I found a lot of peace in that. So I would love if you could speak to that at all. just this idea of perception of time and how it's so different for crystals and, how much we have to learn 

Ashley: yeah. that is one of the beautiful things about crystals and one of the really fascinating things about crystals. Geologic time is so much different than human time. A lot of the crystals that we work with and build relationship with, they can be millions of years old. Some are thousands of years old, some are millions of years old.

that is... Mind blowing to me and so think of all that they have seen and experienced and bared witness to, from their time of formation until present day, like they've been through so much. And I was actually thinking a little bit about this concept with. Everything that is happening with our environment right now, right?

We are seeing drastic unprecedented effects of climate change currently, and I've really been struggling, as I'm sure so many have with the heaviness of that and grieving for our planet. And it made me think what some of these stones. Must feel right now, like I feel like in a way that maybe they haven't experienced grief before they are probably grieving, holding space for the earth, holding space for the creatures of the earth, the plants, the animals and humanity, and I think that it's, I think that it's something that is so different that they are going through, probably at the same time that we are experiencing that.

That our grief is in a way collective and that we can find even deeper community in our grief with the land around us because of that, because I think maybe for one of the first times, probably the very minerals from the earth itself are feeling that same weight of grief, even in their perspective of geologic time, because things are so different, but it also gives me hope that like what you said, Cassie, Thank They have seen so much and they have been here for so long, that the perspective is a bit different.

And I think finding those points of commonality with the mineral kingdom, with the plant kingdom can be really supportive of us. One of the things that when my grandma passed away, one of the ways that I chose to work with that rose quartz is I just took it outside in the yard. no shoes, no socks, just put my feet on the earth and closed my eyes and held that stone over my heart and just felt the sun shining down on me and thought, where can I go to Again, be held.

And it was that asking of what do you want me to do? How do you want me to work with you that you were saying? I definitely was not conscious of that, but it was very much being open to being led. And I made my way over to this very old willow tree in my yard. It's got to be 150 years old, at least.

It's absolutely massive. And I sat under the willow tree holding this rose quartz over my heart. And it wasn't until later that I learned of the connection of willow trees with mourning. And I thought, well, how appropriate is that? but like you were saying, you know, there is this difference in perspective with minerals, which are so old or these very ancient beans and trees.

Which are a little younger than that, but still very much older than many of us. And then our own human timeline, but we can still find these points of connection. I think between those varying perspectives, of what it means to exist and what it means to be and of what it means to experience loss.

Cassie: Thank you, Ashley. That was beautiful and it's just got me thinking about just, relationships that we have with these, the mineral kingdom, the plant kingdom, and how, just how beautiful it is that, we're able to be held and hold, even though, as humans, we're learning how to hold, but we are, and I think that's the love that exists. From the plants, the trees and the crystals to continue to teach us how to be in right relationship with them is a real testament of love. and a real, just such a beautiful part of grief. That's something that, that really arises from being able to grieve deeply. 

Ashley: So beautiful. Yeah. It's just feeling very nourishing.

I'm grateful to be here with you and having this conversation. 

Cassie: Me too. Is there anything else that you would like to share that's on your heart about grief or crystals, before I ask you a closing question? 

Ashley: I think just leaving everyone with the idea that it really is about finding your own way and forging your own relationships and being respectful.

I think that's one of the most important things that we can do with any energies that we're working with, but, not being. confined, not being afraid that you're going to make a mistake. We'll all make mistakes and it, if you're working with the intention to be in right relationship, if you're keeping that in your awareness, I think for the most part you won't go wrong.

So allow yourself that opportunity to explore, to build relationships, to get to know your stones or your plants or the land that you walk on. and just. find joy in that process and find joy, even in your grief. I think sometimes it feels so heavy, that we question those moments of joy or we feel guilt over them.

And, just allow yourself to be held, allow yourself to feel loved and supported and nurtured by those energies around you. and allow yourself. Just a little rest, a little deep breath. 

Cassie: Thank you. and the last question I want to ask you just goes back to the name of the podcast, Rooting Into Wholeness.

And I would just love to hear a little bit about what brings you, what reminds you of that sense of your innate wholeness these days. ? 

Ashley: It's making art. It doesn't matter what the medium is, what the format is.

If I can be completely in that flow of creation, I feel so connected and aligned and so much like myself. Like people always talk about, being your authentic self and whatever that means. I really, truly feel most like myself when I'm deep in that process of creation. and I think part of it is because there is such a range of experience that can be present, right?

You can find joy, you can find grief, you can find frustration, you can find pleasure, you can find all of these things when you're in that act of creating something. And for me, I think that's the thing that is Nourishing my soul absolutely more than anything else and helping me feel completely whole.

Cassie: Oh, I needed to hear that. So thank you for sharing that. That is. Medicine that I need to get back in touch with, so I appreciate the reminder. and before we close, I'd love for you to share with folks just where they can find you, where they can connect with you. 

Ashley: Sure, I would love for everyone to head over to my website.

Love and light school. com. Feel free to check out tons of free resources there. There's blog posts, articles. You can find links to my podcast there, as well as learn more about classes and guided meditations over on insight timer, all that good stuff. You can also find me on Instagram at love and light school.

If you enjoy listening to the conversation, Cassie and I are having, I'd love to talk with you more. So send me a DM. Thank you. 

Cassie: All right. Thank you so much, Ashley, for coming on. What rich and nourishing conversations. I appreciate you. 

Ashley: Thank you so much for having me.

Sacred Links Between Grief & Pleasure with Kalah Hill

Hello, dear ones. I’m coming to you with the first guest podcast in a new series all about grief and grief tending and what it can look and feel like when we apply a spiritual lens.

This four-part series will explore grief tending through pleasure, astrology, plant magic, and working with crystals. One of the many gifts I’ve received from my work with grief and death is learning how much wisdom and healing can be found in walking with my grief more intentionally. I’ve learned that grief is not an isolated emotion to be relegated to the loss of a beloved. Grief is ever present and has so much to teach us. As my work shifts deeper into rites of passage around death and reclaiming magical practices I’ve been severed from, I continue to learn more and more from my ability to be with and tend to my grief and how connected grief is to so many other topics, like pleasure, ancestral work, and reclaiming a personal magical practice. 

This first episode with Kalah Hill is so, so rich. I embarked on the Maiden to Mother Teacher Training hosted by Sarah Durham Wilson and many others over the last year, and Kalah was one of the facilitators during the training. When I say this training rocked my world, it’s truly an understatement. It’s also the inspiration for my upcoming retreat I mention in this episode. But for today, I want to focus on the work I experienced with Kalah and how it opened my eyes to the deep connections between grief and pleasure. 

Freedom Doula and Pleasure activist Kalah Hill is the founder of In Pleasure We Trust. Through her many years as a student of trust, Kalah regenerates space with her clients with care and sweet rootedness. Kalah evokes permission for sovereignty within the landscape of our social interdependency. In her work, Kalah unravels the illusions of systemic oppression that create communities of conformity and insatiability. Kalah’s loving practice reveals the human capacity to be in equanimity, trust, and deep satisfaction. Her healing balm of pleasure is how she creates a bridge of solidarity in crossing the threshold into liberation. Kalah’s experience and facilitation is multidisciplinary, ranging from biological and ecosystem-based sciences, somatic coaching, social justice, maiden to mother lineage, and doula work. 

Here’s our chat. Click below to listen, or scroll to read.

The text below is a transcript of our recorded conversation. Grammatical and spelling errors may be present.

Cassie: hello, welcome, Kayla. I’m so happy to have you here and to chat about Pleasure and grief and all the juiciness that comes with those topics. So welcome. 

Kalah: Thank you. Cassie. It’s so nice to be here. I’m really excited. 

Cassie: Me too. before we dive into those juicy topics, I would love to hear a little bit about. The land that you’re on and maybe what that land is sharing with you today or how it’s showing up, which is a practice that I learned from Dr. Rocio Rosales Mesa that I just really love and think it’s such a beautiful way to start a space. So I’d love to hear a little bit about that from you. 

Kalah: Gorgeous.

Yeah, I’m on, the, occupied stolen territory of Guamares, the Guamares people, and I guess today known as San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. and this land has been teaching me a lot, actually. That’s such a good question. I’ve been based in Costa Rica for the last six years, in, Chorotega territory.

And I recently came out of the jungles and into the desert, mountainous, regions and it’s a completely different landscape than what I’ve been accustomed to and what I’ve been working with and I really work closely in partnership with the land. I do a lot of different ritual,and just honoring and grounding and nourishment and giving back.

And so giving back to. This land has been so clear to me that it’s time for me to transition fully out of the jungle, and I’ve been shown a lot of beauty in that transition thus far, and I’m just listening right now. I’m very new to this land. I’ve only been here for three months, so I’m, paying my dues, so to say.

and still cultivating a bond and a connection. 

Cassie: Beautiful, thank you. I didn’t realize that you had just moved, so recently. I didn’t realize I had, I’ve changed, I’ve recently came from the desert to the Midwest, so I have a reversal of lands that I’m getting to know, so I know that, that place well.

Kalah: Yeah, it’s quite potent. There’s A lot of good workings here for me, and I’m very grateful that I’m so attuned to my orientation, my, my earthly orientation. I’m very clairsentient. So wherever my body is. really matters. The environment matters. And I’m just grateful that I have such clarity around movement and where I need to be at any given moment.

So yeah, it’s beautiful. 

Cassie: I’ll pay, honor to the place that I’m on to, which I’m on, occupied Miami or Miami land, which is in so called Indiana in the States. And. I am really loving the way the land is showing up and appearing today because we’re deep in the waning moon might be in the dark moon and I’m on my moon cycle and it is overcast and cloudy and rainy outside, which feels so nourishing and like what the earth needs and what I need.

So it’s feeling, very well aligned within my body and out in the land. as far as your work, I would love to hear a little bit about what brought you to your work and maybe a little bit about your lineage and that could be ancestral lineage to what brought you to your work or just teacher lineage, whatever speaks to you and resonates and wants to come out.

but just a little bit of your journey and process to coming to the work that you do now.

Kalah: Well, I guess it always begins with the mother, right?

Um, yeah, well, I was born to Deborah, a beautiful woman. I call her a white witch. My white witch mother, descendant from, English and German blood and a wild woman, a mystic and single mom. And, I just learned, I learned a lot from my mother in terms of the capacities that I have with magic and mystery and Otherworldly ventures There was a lot of access to exploration and curiosity. I was given full permission for those things really raised, to enjoy life really raised to, be in pleasure, whether it was in my body or whether it was with food or with imagination or fantasy, those things were very much fostered. The pieces that I’ve had to pick up along the way involve my mother’s inability to be fully actualized in the 3D practical world.

And that was really challenging for her and for us. Growing up from me growing up, it was,very unstable kind of material financial situations. And so I now am in this place of creating context and bringing the dream into reality and really creating heaven on earth because I know heaven to be so true.

because of these like early on gifts of access to pleasure and enjoyment. And I remember, and I’m going to get just real honest. I remember, I started self pleasuring when I was four years old and my mother had caught me. I was in the back of the car. I was in the car exploring, It was, open.

And my mother said, asked me what I was doing. And I told her, oh, I found this thing. Oh, it’s so pleasurable. And she was incredibly supportive. She said, oh, that’s called masturbation. It’s really great for you. And. But you do it in the privacy of your bedroom, right? Because I was about to go public. And I think because of that fostering, and that, literal, no shame, no judgment around me accessing this pleasure in my body from the age of four to literally today, age 38, I just have decades of practice when it comes to, Harnessing and accessing my pleasure and enjoying myself and there’s that bleeds out into everything, right?

Like it’s not just a masturbation practice any longer. It’s like a life form of its own that really has sprung from that initial, that initial, finding inside of myself. so I’ve had a lot of amazing cultivation, as well as, my father’s side, my father’s lineage, my father is African American, black man in the United States from Harlem, and I just love to seep in black feminist literature, I love the lineage of pleasure that is the thread line of so much of.

That work, when we talk about Audre Lorde, Bell Hooks, Maya, Angelo, Nikki Giovanni, all of these brilliant black feminist writers who really saw pleasure as a critical piece of the liberation movement and the movement towards. Justice and activism work, and it’s, adrian maree brown, who just published Pleasure Activism a few years ago, really brought that collection of work together in one great piece of work, and I love that book.

It’s It’s like my Bible and because I didn’t grow up with my father and I now have a relationship with him going on about 14 plus years now. I’ve known my father and it’s been really great to actualize those components of my lineage as well. And so I definitely spring from that. And in terms of teachers, I think you and I are familiar.

We have the same teacher, Sarah. Sarah of Magdalene and she’s really supported me in the mother wound work and working with my white witch and my white witch mother, who is brilliant but also very much, indoctrinated by the patriarchy and really exiled in many ways. and it’s been so reparative to work with Sarah.

I also have a really great embodiment, embodiment dance teacher, Amber Ryan. She comes from the Five Rhythms lineage. She studied with Gabrielle Raw and, my somatics, coaching teacher. So my best friend. Who I grew up with, actually. Her name is Dana Regan, and she’s the founder of the Somatic Soul Coaching School, which I am now on faculty for as well, and also certified as a Somatic Soul Coach.

So we’ve done a lot of embodiment work with various teachers and really beloved women in my life. It’s been a great healing journey.

Cassie: I really enjoyed hearing more about your story because yes, as Kayla mentions, the way that I found, I got to know her was through, Sarah Durham Wilson, mother to maiden teacher training.

The third cohort of it that has almost come to an end. but it has just been a beautiful transformative supportive, training. One that I am just internally grateful to have been a part of and to meet so many amazing women like Kayla. and so many things are coming up. For me, just about what you shared about your lineage and your ancestry, one thing, you know, I love that you shared so honestly about self pleasuring at a young age, because I think it ties in so beautifully to pleasure and grief.

And I also have a similar story, and it’s one that’s Burned into my memory and not in a bad way, but you talking about it is just bringing up a lot of curiosity around this memory that I have. I was, I had a similar experience where I was self pleasuring. I was probably four, maybe five. And I was, it was just in the living room, like in front of the TV, just laying on the floor.

And I remember my mom just being like, what’s she doing over there? And she wasn’t. It wasn’t there wasn’t any judgment or shaming associated with it, which I’m very grateful for. But then when I think about that same kind of. Self pleasuring as a adolescent, I can sense all the shame attached to it. And I’m like, when did that happen?

How did that happen? and I feel like a big part of the teacher training, the mother to maiden teacher training has been me really rediscovering and reclaiming that pleasure in a very personal, liberatory way. 

but yeah, I would love to just hear you share more about, any musings or insights you’ve noticed in that relation between grief and pleasure and specifically self pleasure and those shifts that happen from that young age of just innately knowing that we have this ability to bring such pleasure to ourselves.

And then those shifts that happen that so many of us come into feeling shame around pleasure, which then turns to grief at a lot of times. Yeah. 

Kalah: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I want to say, yeah. Yeah. It’s almost like, welcome to planet Earth, where you will be, under threat of shame, guilt. It’s a consequence of our, of our current state of affairs and of a long history of, repression and oppression and systems that, that really are no longer sustaining, sustaining us.

And it’s so curious to me because I find this to be true for every single human is that there’s this original innocence. Where think of it’s as a young girl, just like self pleasuring in public or just in broad daylight, not even thinking twice about it. Oh, yeah, this feels good.

I’m going to do it. And. That’s what I’m trying to get back to, and not that I’m trying to masturbate in public. That I’m trying to get back to that sense of full permission and choice over my own body. Which, as most of us know, if any of us are not living inside a cave, that, women’s bodies… have been under threat for millennia for thousands and thousands of years.

Our bodies have been under threat and access to agency over our own bodies is at threat and alive and well today, especially with the Supreme Court ruling overturning of Roe versus Wade, right? All of these things have come now. There’s so much shadow work, I think, available to us, and this is where I find that when someone really accesses or remembers their pleasure for the first time in maybe, let’s say, 25 years.

There are calcifications that have formed inside of our nervous systems, inside of our bodies, that as we chisel away at those calcifications and break them open by liberating our pleasure, we’re reminded of the great grievance. That is also there in the way of we’ve kept ourselves from ourselves for far too long, and there’s something to mourn about that.

And so the way that I practice and the way that I work with clients is that I work really slowly at like piece by piece, chisel by chisel. Removing these calcifications to open to the softening of what is truly and inherently, our birthright, essentially, to be a soft human, to be safe enough, to be upheld to be, actualized, in the truth of our pleasure.

that is a process in and of itself of unraveling usually decades of shame and fear and guilt and oppression and violence and abuse and, the list goes on of what we’re unraveling. But in that unraveling, there’s a deep cathartic release that tends to happen. And typically it’s in the form of a grievance in the form of tears.

maybe there’s anger, right? we start to go through all of these stages of grief when we open to our pleasure and that’s what I see time and time again. 

Cassie: Yeah. Yeah. And that’s what inspired me to reach out to you for this was, during the teacher training, I had the pleasure of getting to be led by Kayla to, to embark on some pleasure work and what stood out to me and these were in groups.

So it was a non sexual pleasure, that we were cultivating and building and. I think that’s also such a, it’s just such a big part that, I was lacking for my personal practice. And I think something else that came up was, either in the reading, but I think it’s come up in some of the training too.

It’s just the. Pleasure that can be inherent and just in, in female relationships and friendships, that’s non sexual. And that is something that I did not even realize how much grief I had. Around that topic of all of the years of, Oh, there can be pleasure. There can be sensuality in these relationships that are not relationships with, an sexual partner, but there can still be that sensuality and pleasure there and reclaiming that.

And the grief. Oh my gosh. That is where I felt a lot of grief is around those untapped relationships where it was like a veil was lifted. Oh, I can have pleasure and sensuality in these relationships to sign me up. how do I return to that? I would love to hear you share just about, I don’t know how that’s shown up in your work or ways to cultivate that because I have found it to be a little bit.

Trickier, I would love to hear anything that’s coming up for you around that. 

Kalah: Yeah, there’s a deep need, I think, and a deep calling inside of the culture and inside of our individual bodies for touch.

And for somatic residency with one another, and there’s a couple things that came to mind. one is that we’re essentially like primates, right? We’re essentially primates, and I think that in our biology, we are wired to basically like, groom and cuddle each other. there’s something like, if you see chimpanzees or bonobos,they really, they’re always in the herd.

They’re always like grooming each other, sifting through their hair, and there’s this, real biological, mechanism that is hardwired for touch. So there’s that piece. And then I also sense another thing going on, maybe a little bit deeper around, not deeper, but just different context of we don’t need to be speaking as much it’s not so much about what we’re saying.

It’s more about how we are co regulating things. With each other by actualizing contact with each other. And, I remember reading a book by Parker J. Palmer called Let Your Life Speak. And he went through a series of really deep depressions, clinical grade depressions, and he was pretty much bedridden for months.

And, He said that the least helpful people during that time were the people who would come over and say, Oh, Parker, why don’t you get up and take a walk? Or let’s go out in the sunshine and get some fresh air. Or how about what have you eaten today? Let’s eat something together. It was like a lot of let’s get up and out of this.

And he said the most helpful person was this man, a fellow platonic male friend who would come over and he wouldn’t say anything. He would come over, he would walk in, and he would just rub his feet and he would do, give him a foot massage, Three times a week or something. And he said that was the most impactful experience during his deep depression because he felt finally that he could just be and he felt deep connection to the person that he was with.

Whereas these other people who were trying to like fix the problem and find a solution. Really, he felt completely disconnected from them. And so I do feel that touches radical and radically healing, and it’s part of, now post coven really becoming a part of my. private practice with individuals and laying of hands on what it is to even just braid each other’s hair or,take a bath together.

I do a lot of ritual bath work. And yeah, we hyper sexualize all of this. And I think it’s been hyper sexualized as like a colonial tactic to divide and conquer us from each other. Because, I can’t, have sexual relations with all of these people. I don’t want to, so I guess I can’t actually touch them.

I guess I can’t actually get into a bath with them and, play with each other’s hair, there’s all of these things that have been removed from our innate, biological needs. as a species and now it’s, it’s like we’re well enough, I think, and safe enough, at least I am. And so I take that privilege and I use it wisely to, to reestablish these connections and to practice touch as often as I can.

Obviously in consensual ways, right? It’s all in agreement. and it’s all a choice. And that’s the piece that is so liberating and wildly free. It just, it’s so nourishing to the soul. And even, even self touch right the work that we did. And in the maiden to mother journey with that one pleasure call, it’s like rose brushing.

it’s looking, it’s mirror work. it’s, how are you touching your own body is also like a really great indicator of, where you’re at in terms of opening to and responding to these inherent pleasure, wirings and codes that lie inside our nervous systems that are really wired for success.

Like they will bring a lot of, let’s say satisfaction to one’s experience. and whether that satisfaction feels good or feels bad is also not a thing, right? Because sometimes what I’ve noticed with touch is that it unlocks. Tapestries inside of my own body that actually don’t feel great. I feel really sad when they are unlocked and I’m able to go into that morning and I’m able to go into that pain a lot easier when I have appropriate touch in my life.

Cassie: I love how you phrase that. It really helped me make a little switch in my head because I’ve, like I said, one of the reasons I wanted to talk about this with you is because I see this inherent connection between pleasure and grief. And I was thinking of it, in one way, touching into the pleasure brings up the grief, but it’s also what can bring healing to the grief.

It’s what enables us to be with it. So it’s like a both and, all encompassing sort of situation and yeah, I’ve, it’s Become a more regular part of my practice. I would say since the maiden to mother journey movement, pleasure embodiment, like all of those things have just become like daily parts of my practice and ways that it wasn’t because I’m like, Oh, I like, I need this.

I have to have this in order to continue, the direction that I would like to go in. if I want to be in the grief, I have to have the pleasure to. 

Kalah: Yes. And see how that’s like a reclamation of agency right there, which is like a critical pillar for freedom. Yeah. Yeah. It’s there’s so many layers and it’s so multidimensional, but it really, it’s almost like there’s this inherent genius that lives inside of our bodies.

And if we just shut up for two seconds. We just stopped talking, then this genius is allowed to arise and what happens then is, really what I think most freedom fighters have been fighting for a very long time and screaming Hey, listen, if you follow this thread line, I promise.

I promise that you will make it through. so it’s time, I think, to also just start listening to these people. I think, it’s time to start listening to Indigenous people, Black queer folks,it’s just time.

Fast. Listening to that and also listening to the genius of your body. Yeah. 

Cassie: Yeah, definitely. I would love to hear, just any offerings that you might have for titrating into this, because I know one thing that I noticed as somebody who did not have a really prominent pleasure practice. That it does require some titration, like there needs to be,because like you said, there are so many layers, it’s so connected to grief.

So what are some ways to slowly move into that and bring it to the forefront and one’s practice. 

Kalah: Yeah, yes, this is so important. So I am like, trauma informed. I’m not a trauma specialist, but I’m a trauma informed coach. And what that means to me is that I understand, the workings of trauma and how it exists in the body.

And When we are healing trauma, the word titration is thrown around a lot and it’s so critical and it basically means that there’s this slow drip over time of discharging that trauma out of the body. So releasing the trauma, actually, it doesn’t happen in one moment, one big cataclysmic moment, because if it did, it would retraumatize the nervous system and put us back to where we started.

And so we titrate. The same goes for intake. So when we are, let’s say, intaking,we need hydration and we’re hooked up to an IV. That hydration, that water and those, all those you know, nutrients are coming out, but they’re dripping and they’re going very slowly. That’s why it takes an hour up to an hour to rehydrate the body, right?

Because it takes, that slow titrated, experience for the body to actually uptake the hydration. So it’s the same with the pleasure. You can’t just, bombard yourself with, let’s say, I don’t know, you don’t have a pleasure practice at all, and then you just, go to some sort of, huge orgy or something, off the bat, you know, like, this is what I’m going to do, it could be not safe.

so I recommend, really enjoying the slowness. It’s like I see honey, like I get a visual of honey dripping from the comb and like how slowly and how delicious that is. Like my mouth is watering just thinking about that image. And so there’s so many different practices. I’ll name a few.

One is really working with the element of water. And so to me, water is pleasure central. I don’t know. There’s just so much about water. it holds and stores memory. we’re like 70% water. there’s a lot of it. With water and frequency and working with that element that I just love.

I also love how versatile water is. It can be a solid, a liquid and a gas. it’s incredible element. So bathing is like a big practice of mine. I know not everyone has access to a bathtub, so it’s not necessarily that you need to have access to a bathtub. But if you do, I highly recommend bathing.

But it’s more about the ritual around water. So whether it’s bathing, showering, walking to a body of water, whether that body of water is a lake, a stream, an ocean, a fountain in the middle of a city, right? Really finding water. access. It could also even just be a glass of water and you’re going to intentionally be with the water.

So in whatever way that means to you, whether that’s getting into the water, whether that’s getting around water, whether that’s ingesting water, you’re going to intentionally be with the water and you’re going to be with the water for as long as you want. So this is also what’s great about pleasure practice is that this is about what you want.

This is about what you need. So if you need five minutes, great. If you need five hours, great. And I recommend really aiming for what it is that you need. Now, it might take several months to get to a five hour intentional practice with water, right? what does that even entail? But what if we got curious with our own selves?

And this is where the original innocence comes in, because if we think about children, they’re not questioning Oh my God, do I have enough time? Or what am I going to do? Am I going to get bored? Oh, this might not work for me. They literally just go straight in to the practice of play. boom, no, no thoughts, no questions or nothing.

They are just ready. So we all have that. Become from that. We were all Children at one point in our lives and regardless of our upbringing and our household circumstances, because I definitely lived in one that was quite chaotic and tumultuous as well. So I understand that as well. I do know that the more work I do and remembering him.

That child like piece, I can find her and she is very alive and she is very well and she is very much ready to play and very much ready to explore. And so this is where I invite you to get crafty and creative and. Enjoy your time. You can put different things like in the water. Like I do a lot of ritual with just like putting stuff in the water, like flowers or crystals or oils or really anything.

Or if I’m walking along a stream and I find different rocks or I’m on the beach and I find different shells, I’ll go to the water and return those to the water. a lot of my practices are sparked by spontaneity and in intuition. And so like in the moment, it’s what am I intuitively craving? What am I intuitively wanting or desiring?

And can I actualize that for myself? It might be like, oh, I’m like. Walking down the beach and I like intuitively want to go and just immerse myself in the water. Okay, I’m gonna go do that. Or maybe I don’t want to go in the water that day and I want to sit on the edge and I want to just listen to the water.

Okay, I’m gonna do that. What do I hear from the water? All of this is ritual, and all of it is true, especially when it’s integrous to you. So that’s what I invite people to, is like their own innate knowing. I know, I like to give a little bit of structure and give people examples, but at the same time, it’s like we get to co create this.

I’m not, I don’t have the magic key. I’m human here with you. Exploring and figuring things out as I go, and I just invite all of us to have that courage to really trust ourselves again.

Cassie: Yes, I love that. You brought it back to the, honoring our inherent wisdom around pleasure. And that’s certainly what I’ve noticed. and especially with the slowness, what I’ve been finding for me is that The pleasure lives in the slowness and that when I can be in when I can pace myself on that way, the pleasure, the intuitions around experiencing sensory pleasure come in almost automatically, I’ll catch myself just walking outside and, just.

Bask in the sunlight and feel the sun on my skin and hear the sounds of the birds and just melt into the pleasure of it. And it’s like without the slowness, I can’t find that. So it’s been, for me, it’s been really pleasurable and just exciting and playful to have those moments just come in without forcing.

It’s just because my pace has slowed down. and you’re speaking my language with the elements. I love working with the elements. And water is, It’s such a fun one to work with. Yeah. 

Kalah: And fire can be great, like sunbathing, tending to a fire, lighting a candle, getting into a sauna, getting a hot water bottle, putting it at your feet, and like on a cold day.

There’s so many aspects of, Engagement, and it’s really it’s very sensorial. So it’s coming back to the body. And so really anything that’s going to activate the senses and be a pleasure practice. It’s that’s the thread line is that we’re awakening to sensation. and in that, I think we are awakening to our lives and that’s where we get to.

Kind of die and be reborn again, not to be sound like. Super like culty or something, but like to, to really shed those layers of, numbness, I’d say, and disassociation that are great, intelligent coping mechanisms for the environments in which we’ve been born into. So I’m not denying the intelligence of, numbing because that in and of itself has safeguarded a lot of our.

a lot of our psychology for a long time, but as we release into new ways of being with each other, and as we collectively start to heal, we’re going to have to shift out of, states of disassociation and start to stay in the body. And then over time, there’s actually really great practice around conscious numbing, which Adrian Marie Brown talks about a lot, too.

Which basically gives us those moments of reprieve, Hey, you know what, I’m going to Netflix and chill and just zone out for two hours, and that’s totally, I think also very healthy too. So it’s not to say that

one is better than the other, or we’re in some sort of place. That’s not okay. It’s to say all of it is welcome. And when we welcome all of it, then we get. To be free. there’s no, we don’t have to compartmentalize so much. We don’t have

to, like, how has the tapestry of our bodies been colonized? Like, how has the tapestry of our sensation? been, compartmentalized, like divided and conquered and almost there’s like a dictator inside of at least there was inside of me, this dictator said,this is only permissible under certain circumstances and certain ways.

And if it’s not that, then that doesn’t come out. And there was a lot of regulation and rules going on in terms of like, when I was allowed to feel something and when I wasn’t. And to basically say, no, I have full permission to feel my experiences in any given moment. to have sensation run through my body.

It is my birthright. To have access to my bodily autonomy and to make choice from a space of feeling and sensation as opposed to a space of logic, really reframes and reshapes the entire experience of your life. So to me,it’s, it’s a power move. It’s a big power move to reincorporate pleasure.

Cassie: Absolutely. Yeah, I really resonate with what you said about that, the inner dictator, because I’ve certainly, I’m sure it’ll be a lifetime of unraveling that, but the inner dialogue is sometimes I don’t have time, I think you mentioned that I don’t have time for this, I need to be productive, all of those things that capitalism, patriarchy, tell us that we, I can’t do this because I need to be doing this.

and I’m at the part of it where there’s a lot of, okay, let’s pause, let’s, is this truth or is this? the inner dictator. I like that I have a name for it now. I’m going to borrow that if that’s okay. My inner dictator that’s trying to keep me from pleasure because I’m not about it anymore.

I’m ready to cut ties with them. 

Kalah: yes. so many aspects that have tried to keep us safe and that’s why it’s like there I have compassion because these are all coping strategies under pretty severe conditions, you know, we’re talking about. Stomach oppression and you know how our bodies have adapted to those environments.

And so I have a lot of compassion for the inner dictator. And at the same time, my pleasure is not their domain. That’s not the domain dictator. That’s not where they rest in my body anymore. 

Cassie: Absolutely. I don’t want to keep you for too long, so I’m just going to ask you a couple more questions before we wrap up.

but when those, because I, you know, I think about, I know for me, that inner dictator, and like we’ve already mentioned, grief comes up in so many ways, but I know for me, I have had a lot of grief as well around that inner dictator, and Remembering that I do, get to experience pleasure and I get to decide when and how I experience pleasure.

And then I will, sometimes I can go into that spiral of, Oh, I, of either feeling bad about it or feeling bad about how much I’ve missed out because I listened to the inner dictator for so long. So handling when those, griefs arise of. ways to be with them, address them, move with them, as they arise.

Kalah: Yeah. I’ve said this before on another podcast and I’ll just say it again, when I hit these moments of resistance and, or let’s say challenge when there’s shame or guilt that comes up and I start to grieve and I start to get angry and I start to get just really upset about the years that were lost.

I ask myself this question, what is the most loving thing I could do next? And so bell hooks talks about so brilliantly talks about, what it takes to step into a culture of love, what it takes to walk into a love ethic and embody that in our relations. with ourselves and with our communities.

And I think it, it takes asking questions like that in moments of despair. It takes asking the question, what is the most loving thing I can do next to take care of this grief, to take care of this grieving body. Sometimes that’s lying down. Sometimes that’s making a cup of tea. Sometimes that’s taking a walk.

Sometimes that’s brushing your teeth. Sometimes that’s, not brushing your teeth. like it really can be a very simple. exchange of realism, there’s this, sobriety, that comes online, like you sober up when you’re in the middle of this grief and you’re Whoa, like my capacity right now is not of the expectation of what patriarchy or capitalism or these oppressive societies would even deem as like.

normal, whatever you want to call these like really distorted views of how we’re supposed to be showing up as humans. And if we lovingly can slow down and ask these questions and take the next best step towards love, regardless of what that is. I think that we are starting to build cultures of care.

Beyond what we know now when we’re starting to step into unconditional loving space with ourselves and then have more capacity to do that with others. yeah, there’s so much that I think people really need to learn about how to hold space for both pleasure and grief. They’re very similar in the ways in which we hold space for both of those beautiful human attributes.

And it is one that is incredibly loving, incredibly slow and incredibly like non judgmental. It’s just okay, I got to release the control and I got to let go. Otherwise, this is going to consume me. And then I will have lost myself again. And I want to make sure that I stay with myself as much as I can.

in the sensation of all of my life experiences. 

Cassie: Beautiful. I love that invitation. Thank you. as I shared with you, interviews are new to my podcast, so I’m playing around with some sort of a closing question. And though you might’ve already answered this, I would just love to hear, what right now is, bringing you back to your innate wholeness.

Kalah: Gosh, so much. I’m like, Oh God, there’s like a million things that are bringing me back to my wholeness. This is my Gemini rising here. Ooh, I got like 20 million things going on at once. But I think, the first thing that came to me and what’s really been apparent is, the skill of letting go and the skill of saying no.

And how that actually brings me into such deep states of satisfaction and satiation and wholeness. So I am like a genius at the yes, right? that’s what I teach people. I teach people the yes. Like, how do I have you screaming? yes. Like I can probably get you there pretty well. And what I’ve learned though, is that yes, doesn’t just come out of nowhere.

That our no’s are really deep, nourishing, loving. No thank you’s are shaping our yeses. They’re giving definition to our yeses. So it creates this really dynamic partnership. And what I’m experiencing in my life is that as I really honor my own capacity and my own limitations. Which is like a really hard concept for a pleasure, a pleasury stuff.

I’m like, wait, there’s limits.

This is boundless. but to really say listen, this is my capacity. This is where I’m at. And I’m going to have to bow out of this, opportunity or social event or whatever it may be. And really. Safeguard that capacity. I’ve learned that these deep wells of satiation and satisfaction, are experienced.

I’m like, wow. Okay. So the world didn’t implode by me saying no. And what actually became much clearer was like, My definitive yes, and the things that I actually do have capacity for not only capacity but also like deep longing for. and I think that’s just a maturation process, I’m 38, which I feel like is very young.

I feel like talk to me when I’m 60. This podcast is going to be, this interview is going to be great. but I do, I feel very young and I feel that I’m still in deep maturation processes that will. Start to come to light even more and more as I grow into my maturity, and I’m really looking forward to that.

And there’s this real beauty to the boundary work that comes with pleasure. And so that’s been really tantalizing. 

Cassie: I love that and I love your description of your no’s sort of chiseling and carving out what your yeses are like bringing them. Even more fully to life. That’s a really beautiful visual.

Oh, Kayla, I’m so grateful to know you and to have worked with you and for all of the beauty and wisdom you shared with us here. Thank you so much for, for showing up and sharing. And I would just love for you to share, where people can find you, where people can work with you, the ways that they can work with you.

Kalah: Of course. Yeah. So I have my website, which is in pleasure. We trust dot com as well as my instagram at Kayla dot hill. And yeah, there’s lots of fun musings going on there. I’m getting braver shining my light. And so I’ll have more things coming, and always feel free to reach out to me. I love connection.

I’m happy for you to slip into my DMs, honestly, slip into my DMs and ask me out. I’ll probably say yes. I’m such a flirt. I love flirting. I love getting to know people. I’m very curious. And so yeah, I’m always available for a chat, and to connect and yeah, there’s many ways I work with individual clients, privately online and also in person and I do combo packs with that too.

So we’ll have some things online, some things in person. And then I also host group experiences and events of the erotic nature. I’m very ceremonial, very conscious, and intentional. space for going a little deeper into exploring, sensual touch and erotic exploration. So really excited about all those things.

Cassie: Yeah. Yes. Some of those are piquing my interest. I didn’t know about the group. Work that you did. That’s exciting. and I will, of course, I will have all of your links and everything and the show notes so people can find you easily and connect. Wonderful. Thank you again so much, Kayla. 

Kalah: Thank you, Cassie.

My pleasure. 

The Moon as Shadow Work // How Aligning with the Moon Invites Shadow Work and Tips to Make Lunar Work a Daily Practice

The moon comes after walking through the tower and the renewed spark of inspiration from the star in the tarot. The moon serves as a portal between worlds, sitting in between the star and the sun. The star is the inspiring rebirth and the sun is the ego-self, shining bright. But in between them, the moon shows up to call you inward. It's an invitation to explore everything that's come to pass at the subconscious level.

It's within this portal that shadow work comes in, which could go by so many other names: soul work, subconscious work, "dark night of the soul," or emotional exploration, etc. Shadow work calls you in to peel away the surface and explore the parts of yourself that you often ignore, hide, or push away. 

Listen to this post on my podcast, Rooting into Wholeness, below.

The moon's light is not her own. Its light is reflected by the sun. The moon is the mirror. What shadowy areas within your soul need to have a mirror held up to them? 

Shadow work, like the moon, is a portal to wholeness. One cannot exist without the other. Your shadow work is still there even if you are not addressing it. It does not just go away. It remains untouched and undiscovered. A powerful healing tool waiting to be utilized and waiting to bring you to wholeness. 

So many want to skip over this important portal. Here's the thing, though. You can't. The opportunity will keep repeating itself until you decide to walk through the shadowing realms of your subconscious. In my experience, I've learned that if you ignore your shadow long enough, it will come crashing down and force you to examine what needs to be learned and seen. No amount of love and light can keep you from knowing all facets of life. We're human. It's why we're here.

How to work with the moon to honor your shadow

How can you embody the energy of the moon, her wisdom, to approach this inner shadow work? It starts as noticing the moon in her phases and turns into allowing these phases to influence your rituals. The shifts will be subtle, but eventually, shadow work will become a regular part of your life. Here are three ways to start weaving more lunar energy into your daily practice.

Much of this work is observational and feeling work that needs to happen within the mind and body. All other tools (crystals, herbs, cards, etc.) and are ancillary allies. Use them if you feel called, but do not let them be prohibitive to your growth if you do not have them handy. 

1. Become more aware of the moon. Let's first start by connecting with lunar energy regularly. Track her, notice her, and notice how you feel in her different phases. If working with the moon is new to you, start by solely noticing when the moon is in her waxing phase vs. waning phase (I find this more helpful than tracking the new/full moon.) Learn more about waxing vs. waning lunar energy in a past post here.

When you begin to adopt the moon's cycles into your daily life, you will begin to understand the necessity of living more cyclically. Rather than shaming yourself for needing to go within, you will appreciate it as a natural phase. Here's a non-exhaustive list of some ways that I connect with lunar energy regularly. 

• Look for the moon anytime you are outside at night or consciously decide to go outside and seek her out regularly. You will soon learn where the moon lives in the sky during different parts of her cycle. 

• Track her with an app. I like to keep a pulse on when the moon shifts from waxing to waning phase and vice versa. Using an app is an easy way to know when these shifts happen. I also like to know what astrological sign the moon is living in as this also affects her energy. My favorite app is The Moon App. The free version is great, but I prefer the paid version. 

• Wear a specific piece of jewelry is a reminder of whether the moon is waxing or waning. I have a moon-shaped ring that I flip, so the moon is facing inwards or outwards according to whether the moon is waxing or waning. However, there are many ways to do this. You could wear a specific necklace, ring, or bracelet for waxing vs. waning energy. Doing this brings the energy of the moon into the physical and offers you a daily reminder. 

2. Bring the moon into your rituals. If your ritual practices only include rituals to make you feel good or to manifest, you're missing out on some big growth opportunities and magick-making. When you invite lunar energy into your rituals, you open the door to more profound transformations through shadow work. The moon does not stay stuck in her growth, waxing, manifesting phase, and neither should you.

Everyone's ritual practice varies, but there are ways to bring lunar energy into just about any ritual. Bringing lunar energy into your rituals will require you to be more mindful about your ritual practices. Here are a few ways to work lunar energy into common ritual practices.

• Burn candles and herbs in line with lunar energy. If candle magick, incense, or herbs are a part of your ritual practice, this is an easy place to honor the moon. How can you be more mindful about what candle colors or herbs you're working with? For example, I would avoid more energizing plants and colors like peppermint, citrus, and candle colors like red, orange, and yellow during a waning moon phase. I will often burn a simple white candle during a new moon, and during a dark moon, phase black. 

• Invite lunar energy into your meditation practice. Honoring the moon in your meditation practice can be done for each phase or just waxing and waning energy. If you already have a meditation practice, this will be a simple way to begin engaging with the moon's energy on a deeper level. In my meditation practice, this looks like doing more energy clearing at the end of the waning moon phase, being more open to guidance from Spirit at the start of the waxing phase and around the new moon, and focusing on gratitude during the full moon. I wrote a full post about it here.

• Place specific items on your altar or sacred space for certain moon phases, or consider an altar refresh for specific moons. If an altar is a part of your ritual practice, be open to how you can weave lunar energy into your sacred space. I usually update my altar based on the seasons. However, some lunar events warrant a full altar refresh. I invite you to trust when you feel called to do this. Even if you don't want to refresh your altar completely, placing specific herbs, candles, or tarot/oracle cards on your altar for specific phases can also be a powerful way to connect with the moon. 

Simple changes like these begin to make working with the moon a part of life and a way of living. You can find many blog posts here about working with the specific energy of each moon phase. However, I do find some of these basic things just as impactful as they make honoring and connecting with the moon more of a daily practice rather than something you only do on new and full moons. 

3. Study the moon card in the tarot (any deck.) While studying the moon card, notice what comes up for you? Each deck will bring a different kind of flavor, but the energy of the moon card will remain consistent from deck to deck, as will the placement of the card amongst the Major Arcana. This may not be true if working with moon card in an oracle card deck (learn more about the difference between tarot and oracle cards here.)

Notice the cards around the moon in the tarot and the story they tell. Where does the moon sit in the Major Arcana? What cards are nearest to it? I discussed this a bit in the introduction. But one way to view its placement is as a portal between the star and the sun. Like all wisdom from the tarot, allow yourself to be open to different teachings and ideas. This is just one viewpoint. The wisdom in this step will come from finding your own meaning from the moon card in the tarot. Here are some ways to work with this card.

• Place the card on your altar or somewhere else where you'll see it regularly. 

• Journal or meditate on the moon card. What comes up for you when you look at it? What stands out? What does it mean to you at this moment? 

• Read about the meaning of the card from different perspectives. Some of my favorites are Rachel Pollock's book 78 Degrees of Wisdom and teachings from Lindsay Mack on her podcast Tarot for the Wild Soul. 

• Draw your own version of the card. What comes to your mind when you think about creating your own version of the moon card? Allow yourself to be a channel for its wisdom. 

If you find these offerings overwhelming, begin implementing what feels the most aligned and appealing to you. Or, if you feel up for a fun shift in perspective, select the one that feels the scariest to you! 

Working with the moon as a spiritual practice is an invitation to honor all phases of life, including death, shadow, and transformation. These are necessary phases of all life, even yours. When you open yourself up to being in alignment with all of these phases, you open yourself up to being whole, flawed, and simultaneously perfect. The shifts and changes to living alongside the moon will happen slowly over time. Until one day, you realize you allow and honor all of your phases. 

This shift is the magick of embodying shadow work, living cyclically, and aligning with the moon. For more on shadow work, check out these past posts. 

6 Ways to Work With Your Tarot Cards Besides Divination

Divination is a fantastic way to work with the tarot, but you’re selling yourself short with your trusted tarot deck if you’re only using it to glean insights into the future. At its core, and in my opinion, the tarot is a powerful self-reflective tool. It’s here to share insights and guidance about what’s going on with you right now, at this moment. Telling the future is one of the most common draws to tarot, but the tarot truly brings a host of other benefits.

Read on for six ways to work with the tarot to grow and expand in new ways, aside from divination. 

Working with Common Archetypes

The tarot is full of common archetypes that you will encounter or embody at different times in your life. Archetypes are timeless and universal energies that people can understand across cultures. For example, the archetype of the mother is something we can all understand on some level. Even if you do not have a relationship with your biological mother or have children of your own, the overarching energy of the archetype of the mother is something you can understand. Furthermore, you do not have to be a mother or a woman to embody the mother's archetype. Anyone can access and learn from the energy of motherhood. 

The tarot is dripping with common archetypes, especially in the major arcana. The way the archetypes show up can be personal and vary from person to person. Most of the common archetypes appear in the major arcana, but they can also be found in the minor. Here are some of the archetypes I associate with the cards: the ego (the sun), soul (the moon), mother (empress), father (emperor), wizard (magician), child (the fool), lover (the lovers), martyr (hanged one), seer (hermit), and authoritarian (hierophant), etc. You may decide on different archetypal associations with different cards, and that’s fine. 

So, how can you work with the archetypes of the tarot? Lots of ways! You can explore how the archetypal energies associated with the cards make you feel, you can look at the symbology on each card and explore how it makes you feel about its archetype, you can journal about the cards and their archetypal connections, and you can layer it into how you interact with and understand the cards. 

Journaling

Journaling allows you to dive deep into the meaning and energy of each card. You’ll better understand the lessons each card wants to offer you through journaling about them. Truth be told, I’m not a big fan of journaling. Journaling with the tarot is different, though. I always write when I pull cards for myself. To begin journaling with the cards, you can work through them one at a time in order or intuitively select a card to journal about. Here are some suggestions for questions to ask yourself when you’re journaling about different cards: 

• How does this card make me feel? 

• What symbols or imagery jumps out to me? 

• Are there any archetypes or human themes that stand out to me in this card? 

• How does this card show up in my life right now? 

• What can I learn from this card? 

Energy Readings

If you’ve followed my work long, you already know that I love all things energy! We are energy beings, and the tarot is another magical and beautiful way to work with your energy. What do I mean by this? Tarot is an excellent tool for reading your energy and understanding how to balance your energy. 

Each card in the tarot corresponds with different energy. When you work with the cards specifically to assess your energy, the cards can act as a guide for what kind of energy you may need more or less of. Each card's energy can act as a signal that you either have too much or too little of that energy.

For example, if you pull some cards to determine what your energy needs to be more balanced and you pull loads of pentacles, that would be a sign that you need more grounding in your life to feel more balanced because the pentacles relate to the element of earth. 

You could also consider pulling a card for each energy center or chakra in your body to get an idea of what each energy center needs to be in better balance. I dive into this more in-depth in my book, The Zenned Out Guide to Understanding Tarot. 

Exploring and Understanding Common Correspondences

If you’re a visual learner, like I am, you’ll love working with the tarot to understand common correspondences better. I won’t spend too much time talking about this here because I already covered this in a previous post here. 

Basically, each of the cards has a handful of correspondences (correspondences are simply energies that match or “play well together.”) The most common correspondences are the elements, astrological energies, and numerology. I’ve found that using the tarot as a tool to understand different types of energies better is immensely helpful, especially for visual learners. The cards' symbology and meanings will add a depth of understanding to your astrology, numerology, or elemental practice. You’ll also learn the tarot card meanings faster as well. 

Shadow work

The cards of the tarot contain a complete range of human experiences. It does not gloss over the hard, scary, and sometimes earth-shattering parts of life. This is one reason why, I believe, so many are nervous about diving into tarot. It’s also why it can be such a powerful healing tool. 

Your cards will not shield you from your shadow. Instead, they call you to cozy up to your shadow to understand better what it has to teach you. If the idea of shadow work is new to you, check out this previous post to learn more about what shadow work is. Here are a few ways to dive into shadow work using your tarot card deck. 

• Journal about the cards that make you the most uncomfortable. Use the questions above from the journaling section. 

• Ask questions specifically to explore your shadow, like “What parts of my shadow need healing and exploring?”, “ What do I have to learn from my shadow?” or “What parts of my shadow have I been avoiding?”

Spellwork & Magick

If you’re a fan of spellwork, altars, or magick, this one’s for you (it’s also another one of my favorite ways to work with my deck.) Because each tarot card carries a unique energy, they are perfect for adding energy and intention to spellwork, magick, and your altar. Here are a couple of ways to start working your cards into your magickal practice.

• Place a card on your altar to invite in a specific kind of energy. For example, if you’re focusing on improving your intuition, you could place the moon, the high priestess, or the queen of cups on your altar as a reminder and energetic intention. 

• Add a card to your spell. For example, if you’re focusing on bringing more abundance into your life, you could include the nine of pentacles or the empress into your spell. 

Want to learn more about working with the tarot? Order my book, The Zenned Out Guide to Understanding Tarot. Or, check out some of these posts: Understanding Tarot Correspondences, The Difference Between Tarot and Oracle, 7 Tarot Myths Debunked or Understanding Tarot Birth Cards. 

Sinking into acceptance // 4 Rituals for the Waning Moon + Card Spread

The waning moon phase is nature's way of calling you inward. How can you truly know what you need to release, shed, or let go of if you haven't allowed yourself time to go inward and fully experience your emotions? This phase is your invitation to feel and allow.

The waning moon phases occur after the peak of the full moon to the dark moon. Energetically this phase represents a time of allowance, acceptance, and shedding.

Growing up, most of us are taught to bottle our feelings up rather than sinking into them and accepting what is. Acceptance doesn't mean rolling over and taking it or being okay with the status quo. Not by a long shot. Acceptance of the current moment means allowing yourself to fully experience whatever is bubbling up in you at the present moment. 

If things in your life, or the world at large, are not aligned with your desires and want them to change, you don't have to accept them as they are. What you do need to accept is your feelings about these situations. It's in the allowance and acceptance of situations that healing, growth, and change can occur.  

There's an opportunity to grow from every situation you're presented with, and this phase asks you to be open to the learning and evolving process rather than pushing against it. Imagine the energy of this lunar cycle as a big unconditional and loving hug. 

Here are a few keywords to understand the basic energy of this lunar phase. 

Energetic Themes for the Waning Moon

• Passiveness

• Acceptance

• Allowance

• Releasing

• Shedding

• Letting go

• Resting

The rituals outlined below will work well together, but if you don't have the time or tools to perform all of them at once, that's okay, do what feels most aligned with your needs. Keep reading for four ritual suggestions for the waning moon phase. 

1. Candle Ritual for the Waning Moon

Candles are an ideal ritual tool for this moon phase because they can be used as a very passive tool. I suggest using this candle ritual suggestion in tandem with one of the ritual suggestions below so your candle can burn as you sink into a ritual. There's more than one candle color that will work for this lunar phase, here are three suggestions, go with what feels best for where you're at, or use all three!

Pink candle: Pink candles offer soft and loving energy. This candle color is ideal for bringing in self-love and acceptance. This candle color is often suggested during the waxing moon phase to call in romantic love. For the waning moon phase, its energy will be used as a tool to call in self-love. 

Blue Candle: Blue candles offer peace and respite. If you've been in a cycle of overwhelm and feel like you can't catch a break, this is your candle. The energy of this candle can help you soften into the present moment to access your emotions better. 

Purple Candle: Purple candles offer inner wisdom and perspective. If you're in a place of allowance with your emotions but struggling with accepting them, the energy of a purple candle can help open you up to a higher perspective and shed light on why you feel the way you do. 

If candle magick is new to you, and you'd like to learn more about how it works and the process I outline here, check out this past blog post on candle magick basics. 

Once you've selected your candle color(s), you may want to anoint your candle with a specific oil. I suggest lavender, bergamot, rose, or geranium work well with the energy of the waning moon. If you don't have any of these available, a simple carrier oil, like almond or coconut oil, will work just fine. 

Anoint your candle with your oil, hold it in your hands, and impress it with your energy. Repeat this intention or something like it that feels good to you, "I love and accept myself as I am. I am allowed to feel the fullness of my emotions and will let them flow through me. I trust that Spirit will show me what needs to stay and what needs to go. So it is."Light your candle(s) and stay with it as it burns. 

2. Waning Moon Meditation

If you're going to do any of these waning moon rituals, meditation is my top suggestion. I covered this topic in-depth in a previous post, so I'm not going to spend too much time discussing it here. But, if you've followed me for long, you know that I adore meditation. 

Meditation opens you up to your inner world, which is step one in allowance and acceptance. As I said above, you have to take the time to explore your inner landscape before you can truly know what needs to be released. Meditation and internal reflection is the first step in this process.  

Click here to get my free waning moon meditation or here to read my previous blog post on meditating with each moon phase. 

If you'd like to add some supportive crystals to your waning moon meditation, I suggest rose quartz and a grounding stone of choice like obsidian, black tourmaline, or garnet.

3. Waning Moon Card Spread

Use this card spread with your favorite oracle or tarot card deck. These questions can offer guidance on finding more acceptance in your life and suggestions for releasing anything holding you back from your highest good.

If you didn't begin with the candle ritual or meditation suggestion above, take a moment to connect with your breath and ground yourself. 

1. In what area of my life do I need to soften my resistance?

2. What lesson does my resistance have to share with me? 

3. Where can I focus my energy to bring more acceptance into this area of my life? 

4. How can I integrate these lessons into my life?

5. How will I hold myself back if I am unwilling to explore my resistance?

6. What old ideas do I need to shed to come into more wholeness?

Be open and honest as your cards reveal guidance to you. The next ritual can help you uncover any confusion you may have about your reading. If your reading is initially unclear, leave it, be open to signs from Spirit, and revisit it at a later time. 

4. Write and Release

This ritual suggestion works well after performing either the waning moon meditation or waning moon card spread because you should be fresh with emotion and insight. Take some time to write about what came up for you. Alternatively, if tarot and oracle cards aren't your thing, you can use the card reading questions above as journal prompts. 

Writing is a powerful tool for exploring, feeling, processing, and releasing your emotions. Here's a conclusion from a study conducted on the healing benefits of writing: "There is power in written expression and the personal sharing of one's story. Writing shows promise not only as a therapeutic tool during intervention, but as an ongoing avocational activity with many personal and health benefits." 

Try to write without judging what you're writing and let your thoughts and feelings flow. 

Choose to release your writing in a way that feels good to you. You can burn the paper in a fire-proof vessel, bury your text in the earth, release it into a flower body of water (ensure that your paper is compostable if you do this method!), or something else that feels good to you. You cannot do wrong; the purpose of all ritual is to bring meaning and healing to your experience, so trust that the releasing method you select is what will serve you best.

 I hope you feel empowered to love and accept yourself fully, emotions, and all. Dance with all aspects of your being. Know that in each moment, even the uncomfortable ones, there is an opportunity to go deeper and find wholeness.

5 Powerful Rune Meanings & Rituals

Runes are symbols that each carry unique universal energy. These special symbols were used by Nordic and Germanic cultures in Northern Europe as forms of language, for religious purposes, and as tools of magick and divination.

Runes an extremely versatile spiritual tool. You can use Runes together as a set, like an oracle card deck, learn more about using Runes in this way here. You can also hone in on the energy of specific Runes for specific purposes, that’s what I’ll be covering here.

Most Rune sets are comprised of 24 Rune characters, though this can vary some depending on the set used. I’ll be referencing five of the most frequently used Elder Futhark Runes here.

The cards shown in the images and rituals are from The Ritual Deck®, an oracle card deck I created based around rituals.

The Runes I’ll discuss today are Algiz, Fehu, Berkano, Wunjo, and Tiwaz. Keep scrolling for ways to tap into the energy of each one.

Algiz for Protection

Think of Algiz as a spirit guide or connection to your Higher Self always watching over you. This Rune is not only a symbol of protection but goes much deeper and wants to offer you guidance on your journey. Tap into the power of this Rune anytime you’re feeling lost, scared, or like you need additional protection.

Algiz Ritual

Create an Algiz wall hanging to protect you and to remind you of your connection to your Higher Self. This activity is ideally performed on the night of the dark moon, but it can be done during any moon phase. You’ll need one long stick (this will be used as the center of the Algiz symbol, so any size you’d like will do), two shorter sticks that are the same size (about half the size of the longer stick), and string. Place the two shorter sticks in a “V” shape at the center of your longer stick. The wall hanging should look similar to the Algiz symbol on the card. Wrap your string or twine around the three areas where the sticks meet until they’re stable, and then tie a knot. You can hang this symbol on your wall or place it on your altar.

If you are interested in creating another wall hanging for protection, check out this past blog post.

Fehu for Abundance

Fehu is here to shower you with abundance! This is your Rune for bringing abundance of all kinds into your life, whether it be financial or other. Fehu can also be used as a useful tool to tap into the abundance already surrounding you. If you’re having a difficult time tapping into gratitude for all of the gifts you already have Fehu can help fill your heart with gratitude for all of the abundance you already have.

Fehu Ritual

During the next waxing crescent, or any growth phase of the moon, create a Fehu carved candle. You’ll need a green candle, a toothpick, and a lighter. Using the toothpick, carve the Fehu symbol into your candle. As you carve the symbol, imagine yourself being showered with wealth, provisions and blessings. If your well is already full, think about your gratitude for all of your blessings as you carve the candle. Light your candle and gaze at it for short while, inviting the energy of Fehu into your space. Extinguish your candle when you’re done. Light this candle as often as you’d like throughout the waxing moon phase until the full moon.

Berkano for Manifesting

Bring your gifts and goals to life with the help of Berkano. This Rune is all about birthing new things into the world, this could quite literally mean birthing a child into the world or a new project. Whatever it is you’re trying to bring to fruition, Berkano is here to help bring it to light.

Berkano Ritual

To connect with the energy of Berkano, create your own Berkano charm during the next full moon. You’ll need a medallion of wood or a small stone, and paint or a permanent marker. Visualize the goal or desire you’d like to fulfill as you draw or paint the Berkano symbol on your wood medallion or stone. Once you’re done, take a few quiet moments to visualize what you’ll feel like when your goal is manifested. Place your Berkano charm somewhere you’ll see it regularly, or carry it with you.If you would like to learn more about manifesting with runes, click here to read a past post.

Wunjo for Happiness

Need more reasons to smile? The Wunjo Rune is here to help you make the decision to live in joy. This is a great Rune to use if you’re feeling down or anxious because it will help you see the good in things around you even if you’re going through a hard time.

Wunjo Ritual

Create an altar or sacred space for Wunjo as a reminder to find the joy in each day. You might find that Wunjo’s jubilant energy starts to bring more optimism into your daily thinking. This is a great ritual to perform on the day or night of the full moon. Use the Wunjo card from The Ritual Deck® or draw it on a card to place on your altar. Collect objects that bring you joy, such as pictures of happy memories, joyful flowers, or trinkets that make you happy. Other items to consider are green aventurine and a yellow candle. Get creative and have fun with this! Your Wunjo altar should make you smile anytime you gaze at it. Keep this altar up for as long as you’d like and try to make contact with it daily for one complete moon cycle.

Tiwaz for Strength

If you’re going through a challenge with another person or have a difficult decision on the horizon, Tiwaz is here to help you through it. Consider this Rune the warrior Rune. The energy of Tiwaz wants to help you find truth and justice, which is not always easy. Rely on the strength of Tiwaz for help during disagreements, legal battles, or making difficult decisions.

Tiwaz Ritual

Create a Tiwaz candle for any disagreements, difficult decisions, or legal encounters you have coming up. If you need a fresh look at the situation a white candle will serve you well. If you need momentum to help you make a difficult decision a red candle will serve you well. During the next first quarter moon or any waxing moon phase, gather your candle, a toothpick, and a match or lighter. The addition of a sodalite stone will help for speaking your truth and a tiger eye stone for energizing your solar plexus chakra. Carve the Tiwaz symbol into your candle and light the candle. Invite the just energy of Tiwaz into your situation. Sit with the lit candle as long as you like, and once you’re finished extinguish the candle. Continue to sit with the candle daily until the moon grows full, you’ve reached a decision, or your issue is resolved.

8 Ways to Thrive as an Empath

If you identify as an empath you probably already know that it comes with a slew of benefits and challenges. As an empath, you absorb the energy of others even when you don’t intend to. You might also notice that friends, family, and even strangers feel called to unload on you. Both of these instances can leave you feeling drained, depressed, and anxious. What’s an empath to do?

I’m going to share eight simple ways to help you thrive as an empath. As an empath myself I’ve personally used all of these techniques and use them often.

Not sure if you’re an empath? Check out this previous post to find out if you are.

Learn how to set better boundaries

Becoming a boundary-setting pro is key for anyone who identifies as an empath. Because you feel so much, you must learn to set limits for yourself and what you’ll allow from others to protect your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Setting healthy boundaries as an empath may include: limiting time with people who drain you, choosing to only work in environments that promote a sense of safety, limiting stimulating screen time, and being kind to yourself when you have to remove yourself from an unhealthy environment.

Being a master of setting boundaries takes practice. Think of it as a muscle and try setting small boundaries first and then work up to bigger ones. Learn more about the spiritual side of boundary setting in this post.

Schedule regular alone time

Living in a realm that never stops empaths will benefit from scheduling in alone time. If you find yourself exhausted but can’t pinpoint why it might be time to ask yourself “When was the last time I spent a few hours alone and away from stimulation?”

As an empath, you may tend to overextend yourself to others and not even realize it. Empaths care so deeply for others; it’s in our nature to always offer a helping hand. Schedule time for solo revitalizing activities, quiet meditation, baths, or any solo activity that restores your balance.

Practice protective meditations

Even though it might be tempting to avoid large crowds as an empath, it may not be realistic. Protective meditations and visualizations can go a long way when it comes to shielding yourself from absorbing the energy of others. There are a variety of techniques and methods to do this, and most involve shielding your aura (energetic field around your body).

Imagining a white protective light around your body and your aura can do the trick. Click here to learn a more detailed protective meditation and more about protecting your aura.

Have a plan for energy vampires

Do you have any people in your life that you dread meeting with because you know it’s going to be an hour or more of listening to them lament about all of the horrible things happening to them? That’s an energy vampire. As an empath, you’re a target for energy vampires because you care so deeply. You want to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, and be there to make that person feel better; it’s one of your strong suits.

I’m not saying you can’t be the shoulder to cry on, but you need to have a plan for it. If you know you’re going to be spending time with an energy vampire, be sure to set clear boundaries for how much time you can spend with them, do some energy clearing after you meet or talk with them, and maybe pencil in a revitalizing solo activity after your time with them.

Dive into Shadow Work

Have you experienced any addictions? Empaths are constantly bombarded with the emotions of others, so it’s common for empaths to find ways to “numb out” through food, drugs, alcohol, sex, or spending. If you suspect you may be overusing a substance or feeling outside of yourself as a way to handle your feelings digging into shadow work is a good place to start.

Here’s an explanation of why shadow work is so important for empaths from Awakened Empath by Luna & Sol.

In order to heal ourselves, function well in the world. And reclaim our life purpose as empaths, it is vital that we learn how to identify and embrace our Shadow Selves. When we are not conscious of our Shadows, they have the tendency to secretly run our lives and sabotage our efforts to be happy.

Learn more about what shadow work is and how to get started with it in these previous posts by clicking here.

Use protective gemstones

There are a variety of gemstones that can help shield, block, and absorb the negative energy that as an empath you may otherwise be getting all for yourself.

• Labradorite: Great for physical, mental, and spiritual protection labradorite will shield you from unwanted energies.

• Smoky Quartz: One of the most powerful grounding stones, smoky quartz will help keep you anchored to the Earth and feeling safe and protected.

• Snowflake Obsidian: This stone is not only grounding and protective but a great aid for diving into shadow work. Snowflake obsidian is the ideal stone to use to help you identify and release negative patterns.

• Black Tourmaline: This stone is perfect to use anytime you’re planning to spend time with a lot of people. It will create a protective shield around you while also clearing and balancing all of the chakras.

• Hematite: Will help to block negative energies from entering the aura and help to rid the aura of any current negative energy. This is a great stone to place on your desk at work.

Cleanse away negative energy often

The simple act of making a trip to your grocery store could leave you dripping with unwanted negative energy. As an empath, it’s important to cleanse yourself and your space often. Think of it as brushing your teeth! There are a variety of ways to do cleanse yourself, here’s a list of some of my favorites.

• Meditate with clear quartz. Clear quartz is the master balancer and healer and can help cleanse your entire energy system. Learn more about clear quartz here. 

• Cleanse yourself and your space with smoke. Learn more about herbs and herbal wands here. 

• Take a shower or a salt bath and visualize any unwanted energy being washed away from your body.

Spend time in nature

Mother nature has a wealth of revitalizing energy to offer; you merely need to tap into it. Because you’re already primed to feel the energy as an empath, you’ll be able to absorb the nurturing and healing energy from Gaia with ease. Try taking a break and walking barefoot in some grass, feel the energy of the Earth below you offering her support. Learn more about getting grounded on this previous post here.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cassie Uhl (@cassieuhl)

Now that you’re armed with tools to protect yourself and your energy go forth and help heal the world, sweet empath, but don’t forget to take care of yourself first!

6 Signs Your Shadow Work Practice Is Working

We’re often encouraged to ignore our darkness. To pretend that we don’t have inner demons, that we can be all love and light, that we can be “healed” without diving into our wounds.

The truth is that we can’t, and that’s where shadow work comes in.

Shadow work is the conscious practice of exploring your dark feelings, often ignored in your subconscious, that you feel ashamed and afraid of.

The aim of shadow work is to bring that darkness to the light and integrate it into your whole self. So that you can heal and become whole.

Click to learn more about what shadow work is and 4 simple steps to get started with it.

But once you start working with your shadow, how do you know that it’s really working?

This post will share 6 signs that your shadow work practice is working, moving you towards being a more healed, whole human being.

1. Other people’s behaviors don’t trigger you like they used to. They no longer create intense emotional responses or cause you to go into your head. You notice their behaviors, of course, but no longer feel a need to react or respond.

2. You drop blame and denial. When a shadow aspect of yourself shows up, you don’t deny it and you no longer blame yourself or the person who may have triggered you. You’re learning to acknowledge and accept your shadow, so you may even feel grateful to those who have helped shine a light on it so that it can be transformed and healed.

3. You judge other people (and yourself) less. When you’ve gone into the depths of your own darkness and learned to offer yourself complete acceptance and forgiveness, it’s so much easier to offer that to other people, as well.

You’re able to be much more accepting and compassionate towards others because you realize that your judgments of others stem from your own unhealed places. Once you heal those wounds, other people’s behaviors don’t phase you.

4. You recognize that you have become part of someone’s shadow. According to shadow work expert Jessi Huntenberg, the shadow work journey starts as what was done to you— all the conditioning and fear and wounds you have from your family, your childhood, from society— and slowly you get to a point where you realize that you are someone else’s shadow, too.

When you can realize this and offer yourself forgiveness for the people that you hurt when you were operating from a place of your own wounds, you know that your shadow work is working.

5. You’re no longer afraid to be seen. So many of us have wounds around visibility. We’re afraid to be seen. We feel like if people knew this or that about us, they wouldn’t love us. They would see how “unworthy” we really are.

When your shadow work is really working, that shame around the darkest parts of you begins to dissipate. It gets transformed into acceptance and love. And so you’re no longer afraid to be seen as you really are because you accept and love yourself fully and wholly.

6. Your life has become more peaceful. This is what we all want, right? Shadow work can get you there. Your life becomes more peaceful when you fully embrace and love ALL parts of yourself— the parts that are easy to love and the parts that are really difficult. Your interactions with others, your relationships with others, and your relationship with yourself all become a lot more positive.

What is your relationship with shadow work? Which of these signs are you experiencing?

Rituals for Every Moon Phase & Printable Moon Cards

Want to start harnessing the power of the moon, but don’t know where to start? There are simple and powerful things you can do for each moon phase. Scrolling through your Instagram feed, you might just think the full moon and the new moon are the only times worthy of your time. Not true, there is a special meaning behind each phase of our glorious moon Goddess!

I created a simple and beautiful deck of ritual moon cards so you can better use your moon phase calendar. To get your printable moon cards, click here.

How to Use this Deck

None of these rituals require you to have anything except some time, space, and maybe a pen and paper. I do provide optional additions to each ritual that include accompanying tools like crystals, but they are all optional! Even better, you do not have to do these rituals in order. If the mood hits to do a moon phase ritual for the waning gibbous, but you didn’t do the ritual for the full moon, that’s fine!

Click here to download your free moon phase ritual cards from your email, print them on card stock paper, cut, laminate them if you wish, and use your moon phase calendar to see what phase you’re currently on. There are instructions for assembling your moon phase ritual cards within the free download. Don’t want to download a deck? You can simply check out my rituals below.

New Moon

☾ Themes: New beginnings, openness, hope

☾ Action: Allow 5 minutes of quiet solitude. Think about what changes, gifts, or manifestations you’d like to bring into your life. If lost ask for guidance from the universe, be open.

☾Optional: Light a white candle for newness and purity.

You can also check out this blog post for a new moon card spread.

Waxing Crescent Moon

☾ Themes: Set intentions, declare, cleanse

☾ Action: Create a list of 3 goals or manifestations you’d like to realize. Speak your list out loud. Put your list somewhere visible.

☾Optional: Cleanse your space with a smoke wand or herb.

First Quarter Moon

☾ Themes: Focus, momentum, face your fears

☾ Action: Choose one goal or manifestation you’re focusing on, commit to taking one action towards making it a reality within the next 24 hours.

☾ Optional: Tell one trusted soul your action to hold you accountable.

Waxing Gibbous Moon

☾ Themes: Refine, adapt, align

☾ Action: Allow a quiet moment, ask the universe for signs on how you can better align with your intentions.

☾Optional: Using divination tools like oracle cards, tarot, or runes, ask the universe for clear instructions on moving forward.

Full Moon

☾ Themes: Harvest, celebrate, gratitude

☾ Action: Write a gratitude list that includes everything you’ve accomplished over the last two weeks.

☾Optional: Let the moon's special relationship with water amplify any goals that have not yet come to fruition. Write down intentions you’re still working on, place the paper in a bowl of water under the light of the moon.

Waning Gibbous

☾ Themes: Reflect, meditate, receive

☾ Action: Meditate for 5 minutes. Before you begin ask the universe to shed light on your progress, or lack of progress, with your intentions. Receive and allow.

☾Optional: Take a bath with frankincense and myrrh essential oils to allow extra time for reflection. These scents will help you meditate and better tune into your inner knowledge.

Last Quarter Moon

☾ Themes: Release, surrender, let go

☾ Action: Choose something to remove from your life that is no longer serving you, a physical object, personality trait, or relationship. Write it on a piece of paper and burn it in a cauldron or other fireproof vessel.

☾Optional: Get in touch with your shadow side by tapping into the energy of the Goddess Kali.

Waning Crescent

☾ Themes: Accept, forgive, allow

☾ Action: Lay down for 5 minutes, mentally scan each part of your body, take notice of any areas you feel resistance. Be present with any resistance you feel in your body and offer it love.

☾Optional: Carry a piece of rose quartz with you to offer loving support during this sometimes painful process.

Dark Moon

This phase is often ignored, but I find it to be an important phase to recognize.

☾ Themes: Rest, self-care, reflection

☾ Action: Take everything in, relax, do nothing. Allow yourself space and time to simply be.

☾ Optional: Lay down, place a quartz crystal on your third eye and allow its subtle energy to wash over you, heal you, and calm you.

I hope you adore your deck of moon ritual cards and are inspired to have some moon rituals of your own! Be sure to tag @cassieuhl on social media to show off your deck.

Cord Cutting a Ritual for Letting Go

What are you holding onto right now that you’re afraid to let go of? Is it a career that you thought was your life’s calling, something hurtful someone said to you, a relationship gone south, or your lack of control over a situation?

If you haven’t already been faced with one of these “letting go” hurdles, it’s likely you will at some point. The need to let go comes in all shapes and sizes throughout life and might be some of the hardest tasks you’ll face.

Why is it important to let go?

Holding on can take up a lot of unnecessary headspaces, leaving you anywhere but in the present moment. When you’re afraid to let go, it’s usually your ego that’s in control, and no one wants that! Refusing to let go means you’re also refusing to trust that you’ll be taken care of and that the universe does have a plan for you.

This week I’m breaking out my favorite ways to help you let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back from your highest potential. These rituals can be done on separate days or all together as one big ritual, your choice! Let’s get started.

Step 1: Burn Baby, Burn

Time to get out your candles and cauldron. The first step is to recognize what it is that you’re trying to let go of and become willing to work on it. A burning ritual can help make this decision more concrete for you.

You’ll need:

• Black and white candle. The white candle is for protective loving light and black candle is to help absorb negative energy, but any candle will work if you don’t have these colors available. Click here to learn more about candle magick.

• Pen and paper

• Cauldron or other fireproof vessels

• Optional: Frankincense EO or incense. Frankincense will help you center yourself and let go. I like using Plant Guru’s Meditation blend.

The best moon phase to perform this ritual is during a waning moon. Set aside some quiet time, and center yourself with as many deep breaths as you need to feel calm and present.

To get started, light both of your candles and incense, if you’re using it. Write what you need to let go of on a piece of paper. Light the paper with the flame of each candle and place it in your fireproof vessel. Watch and breathe as your paper burns, allow any feelings you have to come to the surface. This is also a great time to call upon any angels, deities, or energy you’d like to invite in to help you through this process.

When you feel like this part of the ritual is complete, thank any spiritual energies that you invited in and blow out your candles. You can leave this setup and the ashes of your burned paper out as long as you’d like as a reminder.

Step 2: Cord-Cutting Ceremony

This is my personal favorite ritual for letting go. I discovered it from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and is the suggested ritual when you receive the Lilith Goddess card.

You’ll need:

• String. Must be strong enough to be worn for a long period of time.

• Scissors

• Candles, incense, EO (optional and can be the same as above)

This ceremony should also be performed during a waning moon. it blends well into the first ritual and I recommend performing them in tandem, though they do not have to be. If you do start this ceremony separately from the above one, be sure to set aside time to quiet your mind and center yourself.

To begin this ritual, start by deciding where your cord should be tied on your body. You’ll want to tie the string somewhere that connects with what you’re letting go of. If what you’re letting go of has something to do with work and you use your hands you might decide to tie it around your wrist, if you’re walking away from something you could tie it around your ankle, if it has something to do with your creative center you could tie it around your belly.

As you tie your cord on your body say out loud what the cord represents and what it is you’re trying to let go of. Wear this cord for the rest of the moon cycle, or longer if you feel it is necessary, as a reminder of your commitment to let go. When you feel that you are ready to let go and cut the cord, prepare a quiet space to do so. Thank yourself for your commitment and willingness to be more present and let go.

Step 3: Visualize & Verbalize

During this process, you may find that your desire to hold on becomes even stronger. It’s normal and is usually your ego screaming at you to stay in control! Here are some tools to use to keep your ego in check through this process.

Voice and movement are powerful tools to reinforce your commitment to let go. Here are my favorite supportive tools to use:

• Woodchopper yoga pose with a loud “HA” exhale

• Lion’s pose

• Allow time to shake it out, dance it out, and/or yell it out

• Wear a reminder of your commitment to let go.

• Create a vision board of what your life would look like if you did let go, and place it somewhere you’ll see it regularly.

• Create a mantra about what you’re letting go of. Write it down somewhere and place it where you’ll see it regularly.

• Journal. Write out all of your fears associated with what you’re letting go of. I find that if I write out my fears and look at them, many of them are pretty silly and things I don’t have any control over in the first place.

• Above all, be gentle with yourself!

Letting go can be hard but I hope my offerings give you the tools you need to move forward in your healing journey. Sending you strength and peace through your process of letting go!

5 Simple Steps to Get Started with Shadow Work

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.

It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.

There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them. By integrating your shadow side, you become whole.

As with all deep work, sometimes a qualified professional is needed. If you feel you need help from a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, healer, or even a friend, I encourage you to do so. Facing the parts of ourselves often ignored can be difficult, especially if you've faced particularly traumatic events in your life.

I invite you to approach these offerings as ancillary allies to a shadow work practice. Here are four simple steps to help you get started with shadow work.

1. Practice Mindfulness

I mentioned in my last post that much of shadow work is becoming aware of how you’re projecting your shadow onto others and being triggered. Imagine your triggers as little notes from your shadow self.

The most effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and catch those projections and triggers is through mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to commit to 30 minutes of silent meditation a day; a simple 5 minutes can really go a long way. If you need some pointers on how to start meditating, check out this earlier blog post on 8 quick tips to “be here now.”

2. Connect with Goddesses Associated with Shadow Work

There are Goddesses worldwide across cultures who correspond with the parts of life we're often told to keep to ourselves or ignore. Each Goddess below offers unique wisdom concerning shadow work. There are many more Goddesses and Gods to connect with

Kali

Kali is the wild and intense-looking Hindu Goddess of time, death, destruction, and rebirth. She is often shown with skulls around her neck and one in her hand. Morbid as it may seem, these skulls actually represent the death of the ego. Even though the image of Kali may be jarring or even scary, she is the personification of shadow and can help you get in touch with darker aspects of your ego that you may be avoiding.

Lillith

The Goddess Lilith has roots in several cultures and religions including ancient Sumeria and Christianity. She's referred to as both a demon and a seductive sex Goddess. Lilith is in touch with her sexuality which has caused men to fear her. She represents equality between men and women. Connect with Lilith to explore any sexual shadows you may have hidden.

Hecate

Hecate is a Greek Goddess of witchcraft and magic, she's closely related to ghosts and death. Hecate is often shown standing at a fork in the road as a reminder to examine our motives clearly before making a decision. She offers protection and wisdom. Hecate is perfect to work with if you're going through transitions. Ask for her guidance to shed light on the shadow side of changes you are going through.

Once you’ve found a goddess or god that you connect with, place a card, picture, or statue of her on your altar or in a place you’ll see it regularly to offer inspiration while meditating or journaling.

One of my favorite ways to connect with the goddesses is through The Goddess Oracle card deck. It doesn’t shy away from the dark goddesses, and my readings are always so powerful when they show up!

3. Create an Altar Space to Explore your Shadow Side

Altars are powerful healing tools. Much like a sacred container, your altar can hold space and energy for difficult emotions, traumas, and experiences. An altar can be as small or large as you'd like. It serves as a physical representation of what you're working on or working through. Small objects, tarot or oracle cards, crystals, herbs, pictures, or journal entries, etc., could all be parts of an altar. Learn more about creating an altar here.

To implement an altar for shadow work, start by selecting some representative items of what you're working through. It could be as simple as a black candle and a piece of rose quartz. Use the altar space to meditate at, call upon some of the Goddesses mentioned above, cry, yell, journal, process. When you're done, leave the energy you created at your altar space. You can go about your day knowing your feelings are safe at your altar, ready to be revisited when you're ready. The altar space will also serve as a reminder of your commitment to integrating your shadow.

4. Work with Supportive Crystals

Several crystals can be used for helping you with shadow work, but these are my favorites. Here are my top 3 picks for crystals to recruit for starting shadow work:

Snowflake Obsidian

This grounding stone is my top pick for shadow work. It can help open the door to your shadow side by bringing emotions, patterns, and fears to the surface. Black obsidian is also good for shadow work, but the balancing flecks of white in the snowflake version soften and balance its energy nicely.

Blue Kyanite

This stone is the softer, subtle version of snowflake obsidian. If you’re looking for a very gentle introduction to shadow work, kyanite is your stone, or you can just add it to your shadow work crystal collection! Kyanite comes with a host of other benefits but is helpful for recalling old memories and working through obstacles.

Rose Quartz

Shadow work will most likely bring up strong emotions for you. It’s important to bring in some soothing self-love energy while diving into shadow work, and rose quartz is the mother of loving vibes!This quote really says it all.

“If darkness is the absence of Love, then the most effective tonic to use in healing internal shadow is self-love. The more love we flow into our deepest wounds and darkest emotions, the quicker we are able to clear and raise our vibration.” - Jennifer Diamond

Place your shadow work crystal on your altar or in a place you’ll see them regularly. Another good alternative is to wear these stones for a beautiful and powerful reminder of your intention to do shadow work.

5. Draw, Paint, Write & Journal

You may find that tapping into your shadow side is more difficult than you thought. If you find yourself stuck in positivity mode, grab a pen or paintbrush and spend some time journaling and creating. Allow yourself time to create and/or journal without any outcomes in mind and let your subconscious flow. You might be surprised what naturally comes up when you commit yourself to some no expectation creative time.

This is the perfect time to keep some snowflake obsidian or kyanite nearby to help bring your darker side to the surface.

I also created an infographic for those who like visuals, and I added more ways to process shadow work.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cassie Uhl (@cassieuhl)

Shadow work is not a one-and-done kind of deal. This is work that will happen over a lifetime. Every time you uncover and process one thing, you'll usually find there's more underneath. It's part of the process of being a whole human.

What is Shadow Work & Why You Need It

When was the last time you had an all-consuming work week that resulted in snapping at someone you love? You don’t mean to, you don’t want to, but it just comes out. I’ve certainly been there too.

Just one week, or even less sometimes, of repression can result in some pretty gnarly backlash.

Now, imagine what years of repressing part of your soul might cause. Let’s go one step further. Imagine what the repression of an entire society of souls might look like.

You probably don’t have to spend much time imagining this because it seems to be playing out right in front of our eyes.

I don’t mean to scare you off and promise you that this isn’t a doom and gloom rant! This is a topic that has some stigma attached to it, but it also desperately needs to be talked about.

Shadow work is something that has been calling to me since the passing of my grandma and my dad in 2015. After experiencing this loss, I went into a dark place that I’d never experienced or even knew was possible for me to visit. I was scared of myself. I was scared of what others thought of me. I was scared I’d never come back.

Through therapy and soul searching of my own, I slowly came back to the light, but not as the same person. I was reborn with integration and understanding of the darkness that lives within me, that is a part of me.

Since this experience, I’ve been drawn to explore shadow work more deeply. Before I dive into some methods for exploring shadow work let me give you a brief overview of what it is and why we so desperately need it right now.

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the conscious effort of exploring the dark feelings, often ignored, that bring up shame, embarrassment, and fear in you. Many of these shadow feelings are not on the surface and reside in the subconscious.

The practice of exploring the shadow side of our nature can be found in religions and rituals all over the world, and more recently by psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Here’s another explanation of what the shadow self is:

“...the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions and embarrassing fears.”- Mateo Sol

Why is Shadow Work Important?

In order to become a whole and fully healed person, you must integrate the dark and the light.

The more you suppress shadow the more it will come seeping out in destructive and self-sabotaging ways, oftentimes when you least expect it. When you acknowledge shadow and give it space to be, you may find that you’re more patient, kind, and accepting of yourself and others.

All worldly change must start within first. Taking a closer look at your own dark side can further the progression of our society taking a look within as well. Think of shadow work as a way to lift the veils and expose our earthly troubles. In order to heal, individually and as a species, we must acknowledge the dark.

Getting Started With Shadow Work?

You might be wondering how to identify parts of your shadow side. If these attributes tend to reside in the subconscious how can you become aware of them? You know the phrase, “you spot it you got it”? Most of us walk around projecting our shadow sides onto others, constantly judging and condemning others, for things that secretly reside deep within us.

Next step, cultivate mindfulness.

Now that you understand that your gut feelings of anger and judgment are your own shadows being reflected back to you it’s a matter of being aware of when they come up.

Keeping a journal or a list on your phone can be a great way of keeping track of instances, people, and events that send you down the judgment rabbit hole.

Side note, exploring shadow is heavy work. Though you can certainly work on it alone, it may bring up things that are hard to work through on your own. If you really want to dig deep, I encourage you to recruit guidance from a therapist or healer as well.

Next week I’ll share some rituals and tools for diving deeper into exploring your shadow side.